boyfriend told me he doesn’t like being called daddy

[melancholybaby]

hello! I came here because I feel like anywhere else I go I’ll be judged. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years. From the beginning he’s been ok with me calling him daddy. It actually began because we were “jokingly” talking about daddy kinks within the first week of our relationship. Last night, I asked if we could role play, and he hesitated... and it really worried me Firstly, I used to not call him daddy as much as I do. And he would ask me to call him daddy even when we weren’t doing anything sexual. So the past two months, I really started doing that because I had finally gained enough confidence to not feel silly. Anyways, after he hesitated I asked him if he still liked being called daddy. He said only sometimes. And only because I like it. This really hurt me. I’ve thought since the beginning that it was something we both enjoyed. For two years I thought this. But come to find out he only tolerated me calling him daddy because it got me going. I feel sad about this. I feel like I won’t be able to to anything like punishments or sitting in his lap, role play, or be cute anymore. Anywho, does anyone have any advice or anything they can share? Xx

[ArtsyKitten]

Have you communicated this to him? Does he know you're a little? Communication is so important in any relationship, but especially with a BDSM dynamic. If you haven't voiced your feelings to him and talked about it, that is 100% the first thing you should do. If you have talked to him, what did he say? I can't really do/say much with this being the only information I have about the situation.

[SmolAetherr]

second what Bean said, you need to talk to him about your fantasy about being a little but be ready to accept he may not be into it at that point you will want to consider other options

[melancholybaby]

we’ve talked about it, he said it’s just a normal part of sex to do things you know your partner likes and didn’t think it would be a big deal. this is something that we’ve been doing for a long time so it just felt sudden

[ArtsyKitten]

we’ve talked about it, he said it’s just a normal part of sex to do things you know your partner likes and didn’t think it would be a big deal. this is something that we’ve been doing for a long time so it just felt sudden

Does he know you're a little?

[jelloprincess]

I'm sorry, that's a really hard situation to be in.

 

I understand to an extent what he means that it's normal to do things for your partner that you yourself aren't into, but you should be upfront about it and not act like it's something that you also enjoy. That's just going to get somebody hurt. :\

 

I think you should talk to him about how you're feeling. This obviously changes the dynamics of your relationship, so you should also talk about what it is you both want and need in your relationship, and try to get everything out on the table in terms of what each of you likes and dislikes. If he was acting into DDlg when he really isn't, there's probably some other things he hasn't been completely open about.

[Guest LittleBunBun84]

Hi melancholy.  I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling hurt.

 

I know a few others have asked but would you consider yourself a little?  Has you relationship with your boyfriend been ddlg?  It sounds like the dynamic has certainly been there.

 

I understand the hurt feelings, however, it's not uncommon for a  partner to want to do something simply because it pleases you.  I mean, wouldn't you want to do what pleases him?  (Of course, I mean things within reason and things you're happy to do.)

 

It seems to me that this is maybe more about trust between the two of you - you don't want to feel silly acting a certain way and calling him daddy.  You need to feel safe in order to do those things.

 

Perhaps it would be helpful to agree on the time and setting in which he is daddy and you're little if it's not something he feels comfortable with all the time.

 

I hope that's a little bit helpful.