PLEASE HELP

[ddlgdomain]

Hewwooooo! 

 

So, I just started going out with this guy, and it's my first in-person relationship I've been in for a while. I just got out of an abusive ddlg long distance relationship that lasted two years, so I'm definitely not all that used to vanilla relationships OR in-person ones (if that's even the terminology for that). 

 

He knows that I'm a little, I explained it all and he claims to accept it, he just doesn't want to be involved in it. He specifically came out and told me that he never wants to be called daddy, although he might want to TRY to dom me in the relationship. He mentioned today that he came across a bdsm image (bondage and forced orgasm >.<), and was intrigued and asked me about it. Later he tried to set a bedtime for me, wouldn't let me ride a motorcycle with his friend because he was scared I would get hurt, and then was even fine with me using my pacifier on a video call. I left for a few minutes and when I came back he was COMPLETELY freaked out over the whole ordeal, apparently he researched it a bit and he doesn't even want to talk about it. I really don't know what to do here, it's so hard for me to be a little on my own time, especially when he insists on seeing me and chatting with me at all hours of the day - I barely have time to get my homework done, much less be a little. Ontop of that it's really hard for me to handle these constant relationship teases where he's okay with bedtimes and pacifiers one minute, and crying about it the next. I really can't handle this, but I do want to try to be with him anyways. Pleaseeeee help.

[SpinSpinSugar]

Hi there and welcome!

 

Well, if he did some research, I think the issue is what KIND of research he came across.  If he was surfing tumblr I don't blame him for being put off! I'd actually suggest he reads https://www.domsub.life/about-daddy/ ; this was one of the first places I read up on. It sounds like he's very very new to kink and probably hasn't done anything with it but maybe read a few websites, and that's always a mixed bag.

 

At the same time - and this is the grim part, but be brave - if he isn't going to be able to give you what you want, you're not going to be happy in the relationship. I'm sorry, but it's just the way of it. Never settle for less than you are worth (I speak from experience here). There will be other people, other Daddies who don't need convincing or coercing, others willing to talk with you and be there for you and allow you that space. Sometimes being lonely sucks, I get it. But being in a relationship with someone who can't or won't give you what you need sucks more.

 

I wish you luck.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Sounds like you are just not meant to be together, sorry honey. You are completely incompatible.

He is unintentionally making you feel bad for who you are inside.

I have been in many relationships where I hid my true self, tried to fit into what they wanted. Didn't work, and it shouldn't work.

Really sorry, just looks to me like this is never going to work.

[Daddys__kitten]

+1

 

So sorry sweetie ♡