Advice Needed

[darkprincess]

**POSSIBLE TW**

 

A bit of background: I had been a submissive for a while before I found out what being a little was and when I found out I was with my first Daddy Dom. He turned out to not be a Dom or Daddy but someone who used the title as a way to abuse someone. I was with him for three, almost four, years and in that time I was physically, sexually, emotionally/mentally, and financially abused. Because of this I have extreme trust issues. 

 

Now onto my current situation. I have a new Daddy who knows about everything that has happened to me and he has been super supportive, helped me tremendously, and has never once rushed me to heal from it. He's helping me take my dear sweet time healing and I could not appreciate it more. However, there is one issue....   Because of the severe abuse I suffered and because a lot of it was done to me in littlespace, it is very hard, almost impossible to be fully little around my new Daddy. He understands why and says it's okay but I can tell it hurts him and I don't want to do that. So if anyone could offer any advice at all (positive advice please) I would really appreciate it.

[jelloprincess]

I'm sorry you went through that. I'm glad you're out of that relationship and in a better one. 

 

My advice is to give yourself time to heal. It's not an overnight thing. Maybe try having solo little time. Once you can feel safe being little alone, you can slowly be little more and more with your Daddy. Just don't pressure yourself or feel bad that you're not there yet, because that will only make it harder.

[SmolAetherr]

Big thing, give yourself time

 

let it happen naturally and keep reminding yourself that it is in the past and in the past it will stay!!

 

all daddy's feel pain for their little who may have had bad exepriances, i can attest to this personally as my little is still healing but i remind her whenever i can that she is important to me

she is loved (unconditionally, that is important)

and she is safe

and i am interested in what she has to say

 

its been slow going but she has gained her voice and has gotten better at telling me what she wants and needs and we always talk through anything if it gets difficult

 

 

i hope your journey is smooth and dont forget to communicate with your daddy about what you are thinking and feeling because we do want to know.

Edited September 23, 2019 by Aetherr

[Alaskan Daddy]

as a daddy I would understand your feelings and struggles as something real that is inside you and I am sure your

daddy feels the same way. But at the same time as a person I know your daddy would have feelings of disappointment, but there

is nothing wrong with that. Just as you cannot help your feelings, your daddy cannot help how he feels. Just as he accepts

your feelings as something real and something you cannot help and something he accepts, you need to accept his feelings

of disappointment when they come up. My advice to you is to ask him and allow him to express his feelings without

judgment. I know you will feel bad about some of his feelings, but remember he has become your daddy with his eyes

wide open. Just as he is there to comfort and understand you and your feelings, you may have to the same the best you

can. The best any of us can do is allow out partners to express their feelings with out judgement and to love them more

when they open up to us about their feelings. I know this is long, but I hope it helps you. Good luck

[Guest ~GlitterUnicorn~]

I would just give yourself time. You don't need to rush into things and push yourself. Maybe do some small little things and eventually expand upon it when you feel more comfortable and safe

[Guest Looby-Lou]

**POSSIBLE TW**

 

... I was with him for three, almost four, years and in that time I was physically, sexually, emotionally/mentally, and financially abused. Because of this I have extreme trust issues. 

 

Now onto my current situation. I have a new Daddy who knows about everything that has happened to me and he has been super supportive, ...However, there is one issue....    it is very hard, almost impossible to be fully little around my new Daddy. He understands why and says it's okay but I can tell it hurts him and I don't want to do that....

 

 

I was in an adult:adult relationship with all the abuses you describe. That was bad enough, but being little would make it even more traumatic. Like the others have said, please give yourself time.

 

And give yourself credit for being OUT of that harmful relationship and being IN a healthy one. That in itself is a massive step forward!

 

You say it's hard to be "fully little" which implies you are able to be little in some ways ... so that's great  You have something to build on. Just let your little time increase as you're ready, and probably soon you won't even notice it happening

 

I'm guessing that part of your Daddy's feelings of being hurt when you can't be little are because of WHY you can't fully open up - he probably feels sad that you went through such a tough time, and sad when he can't make everything "right" for you

. 

Also, I think it's normal for one partner to be more experienced or comfortable than the other. So don't be too hard on yourself! Most of us have times when we feel bad for not being able to give our partner what they want, because we're not ready yet. When you're with a supportive partner (as you are) they will wait. And they will be happy to wait.

 

Looby