Practical D/s, DDlg

[Guest SifuTheWolf]

Is there anyone here that has a family and has found ways to incorporate elements of D/s, DDlg into their everyday life? Outside of the bedroom? How so? I'm a busy father of 4 and am looking for ideas and for friends with similar experiences

[Little kaiya]

I've been married for 13 and a half years so definitely have a family but I'm assuming, maybe incorrectly, that when you say "has a family" what you actually mean is having kids. If I'm wrong then my apologies. If I'm correct then you may want to ignore my response as it won't be what you are perhaps seeking.

 

My Wife and I have an adult/adult relationship but my Daddy and I (closed polyamorous triad) have a very strong DDlg relationship that goes well beyond the bedroom. It is not just a DDlg relationship but also a collared D/s relationship which perhaps makes bringing it outside of the bedroom, in properly discrete ways, easier.

 

Daddy has set specific morning and evening routines as well as certain daily tasks as well as other tasks that are every other day.

 

For daily tasks I have to send him a picture, for days he doesn't stay over, to prove I did my tasks. Failure to do tasks is usually met with a required apology video

. . . Not fun. He also made a really cute star chart to track rewards and chores.

 

He also will pick out my outfits on weekends. Ensure the no coffee or energy drinks rule is enforced, stringently I might add.

 

Finally he will do things like order at the restaurant for me. Cut up my food sometimes, like for pancakes and things. Ensure I hold his hand to cross the street or in busy places when we're out. Discrete diaper checks on days he has put me into diapers. Using the "Daddy tone" if I curse or dont use my manners and things like that. Bring a small stuffie if I have to go to the hospital or dentist as both make me very uncomfortable. Wipe my mouth if I get something on it at a restaurant versus just pointing it out to me. Etc.

 

In short, nothing that is glaringly obvious to the average onlooker but certainly anyone in the DDlg community would probably clock our relationship very quickly.

 

Little kaiya

[Guest SifuTheWolf]

I'm 56, my babygirl is 35, we have 4 kids ranging from 14yrs old to 4months, I work over 40 hours a week and she is currently a stay at home mom, our lives are too hectic for us to operate on a set schedule or follow alot of protocol, it's just not practical in our situation.

[Little kaiya]

Well, it's as complex, practical and enforceable as you choose to make it really. If you decide routines, rules or actions aren't practical then they certainly won't be. If it's really important to you then you will find ways, like any other couple, to make it work for your life. I work/volunteer about 55 hours a week and although it isn't always easy we still work together to find ways.

 

That said, you asked how people bring it into their everyday life and outside of the bedroom and for ideas, which is what was offered. Having your little take a picture of something like brushing their teeth or getting ready for bed doesn't exactly seem that time consuming or impractical but then again I dont know your life.

 

Good luck finding what you're after.

 

Little kaiya

[Guest SifuTheWolf]

Thank you Little kaiya. We have a baby that is just a few months old and my babygirl breastfeeds, which makes it impossible for her to drop what she is doing and come do my bidding when I come home from work, we can plan all we like, but the baby doesn't care much about our plans lol

[Ricobun]

though I am not in your situation, there are so many little things you can do! Tell her to pick out something she wants at the grocery store, cutting her food which is so sweet, just being tender and kind. Brush her hair, tuck her in even if you're going to bed at the same time. And remember that all things change and someday you won't have the pressure of small children around and you can save up good ideas for when you have more time together. Much love and good luck.