Switching??? help? aaaaa

[aaliyah]

HI! So, I'm new to this forum, though I've looked a bit, and the reason I joined is to ask this question... 

Does anyone have any advice on switching (from little to mommy)? 

For context:

I've been with my Daddy for about nine months now (always in an LDR, though we met IRL once) and he's been teaching me to be submissive and little pretty much the whole time, and I really enjoy it! And I know he really likes me being cute and little and submissive and everything.

The thing is, a few months ago he brought up the idea of him calling me Mommy sometimes and me taking on I guess a more dominant and caring role towards him. It would just be sometimes, like when he feels like it, I guess, and maybe later when I feel like it. I'm open to this but we haven't really followed up on it.

I'm open to trying new things and I love making him happy, but I'm so used to being submissive, and I know how to be submissive, and I'm just not really sure what to do or how to go about being dominant or what to say when he wants me to act like that. I feel really awkward and unsure about this. One of the things I like about being a sub is I'm always following his instructions and his lead, and through that I learn what he likes and also what I like and don't like. But if I were to be dominant, I wouldn't really have a lead to follow, I don't think... I would have to try everything myself and see how he reacted, and I'm a little scared of that. 

I know I should probably just talk to him and ask about it and find out more about what he would like, but... I don't know, I'm a little nervous and shy and I don't know exactly how to go about it. 

I hope this post is okay for this forum. Let me know if it isn't or if I should change it to conform with forum norms and culture and I will
Thanks for any advice and responses. ^-^ 

[LucyDolly]

I'm open to trying new things and I love making him happy, but I'm so used to being submissive, and I know how to be submissive, and I'm just not really sure what to do or how to go about being dominant or what to say when he wants me to act like that. I feel really awkward and unsure about this.

 

I would definitely not recommend you to do this! Acting as a mistress and mommy although you are in fact meek and submissive and only to please beloved ones and to make others happy will cause serious harm to your submissive soul!

 

I tried the same this year. *sad sigh*

 

I always wanted somebody to guide me and to rule over me in a kind and caring way, like a gentledom does it, like a caring mother or caring father does it but i was never able to find somebody fitting, so i had one day this year in January this crazy idea that i should become the dom for others i always wanted to have for myself, to give other submissive and meek dollies the life i always wanted and was never able to get.

 

I started to be a mommy for Littles and a Mistress and mentor for Bimbo fashionista dollys on the Bambi Sleep Discord Cult server, i even learned hypnosis from an experienced mistress to please the wishes and desires of my Littles and subs.

 

My former subs said without one single exception that I'm a great Mistress and that they love the things i do with them and the gentle, kind and caring way i rule over them.

 

My former Littles told me that I'm "the bestest mommy in the world" and that i mean the world for them and they even bought Mother's Day gifts for me!

 

And why i was so good as Mistress and Mommy? Only because i did with them exactly the things of which i wanted that somebody does them to me!

 

I was getting more and more jealous of my own subs and Littles and one night i felt so bad that i thought I'm going loony.

 

This taught me an important lesson: You can not run away from your true self, you can not be a mommy or even a mistress if your true self is a meek and submissive dolly.

 

Please don't make the same mistake like me.

[SmolAetherr]

Well.. as a dominant i can say this, there is no right way to do it, you are open to the idea and you already know talking to your partner will help

 

try having him call you mommy for a little while and see how it feels, then move up to asking him if there is anything he would like to do like draw or something like that

 

all couples are different

you will need to be open to the idea that not everything you try will work and being sure to remain open and receptive about how things can be made more pleasent for you both is important

 

and at the end of all of that you decide its not for you, that is okay!!

 

good luck

[Little kaiya]

You're asking a question that I think comes up a lot as there seem to be a lot of switches within the DDlg community. That said, there is a HUGE difference between being a switch because that's who you are and want to be versus because your partner asked you to be when in fact it isn't who you are.

 

You've indicated this is something you're open to trying, which is good, but you've also indicated you love making him happy, be cautious about trying to make yourself a switch just to make him happy. If you arent exploring this because you think it will make you happy you could be setting yourself up for failure.

 

Something else to consider is whether this is the relationship you want. How often switching is ok to you? What if he wants 50/50 Dom/sub time, would that be ok or not? There are sooooo many stories of switches dating or a previously dominant partner asking their sub to switch then saying they want more and more time in that role. Few of those stories ever turn out well in the long run.

 

As for how to take the next steps, well, if you're nervous and shy to even ASK the questions how will you ever be able to DO those things in actuality? The fact you are hesitant ir worried to even communicate with him about it doesn't bode very well in my view. It really suggests you arent really doing this for you but just for him. There is nothing wrong with bein a little and submissive and not a switch but forcing yourself into a dominant role could add significant stress.

 

As for next steps, I'll be honest, I'm not one to advise on it as I'm 100% not a switch. I could never dominate my Daddy, it would just feel so awkward, wrong and horrible to me as well as blurring the lines in ways neither he or I want. You said you're LDR and maybe that changes the dynamic but for me when I see my Daddy, feel his touch, hear his voice or just generally interact with him in any way, but ESPECIALLY in person, there us not a dominant bone in my body and we both like it that way.

 

Good luck to you, just please be true to yourself and make sure you're doing this fir the right reason, you WANT to be dominate, and not because you, as a submissive, want to please him.

 

Little kaiya

Edited September 15, 2019 by Little kaiya