Life after your girl

[AnonDaddy]

Hey folks. First time poster and just discovered the forum. Not entirely sure what I'm looking for, mostly just a place to get the evil out. FWIW the girl in the story is 18+.

 

Met a girl next door online in a most unexpected place. Beautiful, sweet, brilliant. Never really considered keeping contact with anyone online, but I made an exception for her. We lived on opposite ends of the country and extenuating circumstances made it seem like physically meeting was pretty unlikely.

 

She isn't a real little, but loves daddy... which suited me perfectly because I'm not much of a dom but love being aggressive daddy and discovered care giving with her. Our kinks and attraction seemed to perfectly align, the chemistry between us was unbelievable. After a few weeks of talking every day, and living out some of our shared fantasies via video and writing pretty elaborate stories, I knew I had to come clean. I've got a wife and kid in the real world, but didn't really understand much about the entire situation between us other than I didn't want to let her go. She was understandably upset and sad, but didn't want to lose me either. I wasn't looking for any of this going into this "arrangement" we had seemed to enter, but it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders coming clean. In retrospect seems that it just shackled her.

 

Flash forward a couple months. We continue to get closer, talking every day and spending as much time as possible together online late at night. She tells me she loves me and it feels indescribable. We are so good together but I'm clearly a fraud if you look at my life in total. Things at home were pretty bad to begin with and are deteriorating, and I'm starving for an emotional connection I can't get at home, and she's everything I need. Looking back she was also going through a major transition in her life and was craving the emotional connection and security as much as I was.

 

After I came clean about my marriage occasionally she would slip in a story about a guy she liked, or someone she thought was cute... and it made my blood boil. On one hand she was doing exactly what a girl of her age should be doing. We clearly loved each other, but I wanted her to be happy and I didn't honestly think I could just uproot my entire life to figure things out with a woman half a nation, and a million life milestones away from me. Then the inevitable happened, she met a guy. She would occasionally talk to me about him and I would die a little each time because I could see the writing on the wall.

 

A couple days ago she let me go. She messaged me really late and told me he was asleep next to her, and this felt like a relationship between the two of them. It's been years since I've felt even remotely like this, but I'm completely shattered. To be clear I’m not upset that she may have hooked up with another guy, because by all reports he seems like a genuinely good kid. I’m so crushed because I can’t be there for her and give her what we both need. I’m terribly jealous of a kid I’ve never met, and angry at myself for putting myself in this position. So much for being a big tough guy being completely incapacitated by a little girl. I'm so lost and empty and I don't know how to recover. I've never been in a relationship where I was so out of control of my own emotions, and it scared me. It was so great when it was good, but crushed me so unexpectedly when it came to it's logical conclusion. I've never felt like this about anyone else, including my wife and none of it makes any sense.

 

Take aways for me? Don't be an idiot and explore relationships you aren't prepared for. Never love something that can't love you back.

 

Anyone feel the same? Anyone have any suggestions how to get over this? I can't exactly talk to just anyone about my feelings right now... and frankly I've never been much of a talker about this kind of thing. I just don't know where to turn too.

Edited September 11, 2019 by AnonDaddy

[Guest royal]

Hey dude.

I had a lot of relationships that ended poorly too. Not as drastic as yours (and a big hug for you btw), but I relate to that pain. You feel like you were never truly important. And it's painful and you feel out of control.

My suggestion is, try to get distracted. It helps a lot. Vent to someone if you need. It's easier said than done, but believe me, trying to distract yourself is very healing.

You'll regain control of your emotions. You'll be alright dude. Stay strong, cheers ❤️

[jelloprincess]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

[popcornbaby]

Your wife doesn't deserve this situation, let her go before filling the gap. Whatever is meant to be will be, but you need to sort this current issue out first.

[MysticSand]

Agree with the above commenters.

 

I'd also add in that you should do your best to move forward. It seems like you have a very rational grasp of the whole situation and you're just lamenting loss, which is natural. I would suggest reconsidering your takeaways though.

 

Don't be an idiot and explore relationships you aren't prepared for. Never love something that can't love you back.

 

You were looking for something because your current relationship with your wife is lacking. It'd be impractical to not look for something that you need in your life. The better way to look at it is to be up front with boundaries first, and you know, honest. XD About your situation and all. I know a good chunk of posts on here may be centered around romantic relationships, but there are many ways that a relationship can look that will be fulfilling.

 

Actually, before all that. What's the situation with the wife? This is rhetorical. If she's not into DDLG, would she be okay with you having a platonic relationship with a Little? Something to think about.

 

 I can't exactly talk to just anyone about my feelings right now... and frankly I've never been much of a talker about this kind of thing. 

You may not be. But it's human to need someone to talk to. And hey, that's what the internet's for so welcome to the forum! Glad you at least have a place to vent. It may be good to read different threads as it could be therapeutic just to see what others have been through and how they coped. I think at the end of the day, you're just mourning the loss of someone you had a connection with. Take time to focus on yourself and to think about how to fulfill your needs as well as those significant to you.

[AnonDaddy]

Agree with the above commenters.

 

I'd also add in that you should do your best to move forward. It seems like you have a very rational grasp of the whole situation and you're just lamenting loss, which is natural. I would suggest reconsidering your takeaways though.

 

 

You were looking for something because your current relationship with your wife is lacking. It'd be impractical to not look for something that you need in your life. The better way to look at it is to be up front with boundaries first, and you know, honest. XD About your situation and all. I know a good chunk of posts on here may be centered around romantic relationships, but there are many ways that a relationship can look that will be fulfilling.

 

Actually, before all that. What's the situation with the wife? This is rhetorical. If she's not into DDLG, would she be okay with you having a platonic relationship with a Little? Something to think about.

 

You may not be. But it's human to need someone to talk to. And hey, that's what the internet's for so welcome to the forum! Glad you at least have a place to vent. It may be good to read different threads as it could be therapeutic just to see what others have been through and how they coped. I think at the end of the day, you're just mourning the loss of someone you had a connection with. Take time to focus on yourself and to think about how to fulfill your needs as well as those significant to you.

 

Situation with the wife is we are great team mates, but we are terrible line mates, pardon the sports analogy. We've built a great little life together, but even before this girl there has been a nagging feeling that there is something big missing in the relationship between my wife and I. Everyone is 100% correct, my wife doesn't deserve this kind of treatment... and I have been playing stupid games. Now I'm sleeping in the bed I've made. As sick as it sounds I knew I was in love with this girl after having been with my wife, and literally the next thought in my head was, "i wish i could have shared this connection with princess." It had little to do with sex and more about the connection we were both dying for. 

 

Now I would give just about anything to see her face one more time. I loved it when she would send me random smiling photos of herself... nothing sexual, just seeing her happy with me on her mind was the best thing in the world.  Everything in me is telling me to get in the car and head East, make yourself into some kind of fool, fight for this girl because she's worth it. I'm just not convinced I am. Ironically enough when we first started talking I had an internal conversation with myself that I wanted to help build her confidence and help her rebuild after a shitty relationship that lasted too long. Now I'm the one who needs the rebuild after my shitty behavior. This self loathing is slowly eating me alive.

 

Wife is not into DDLG, and to be honest I don't think either of us were either. It was the framework around which some of our physical attraction was built, but I never went looking for a little... this was the closest message board I could find that had some kind of correlation. 

 

Thank you to anyone that's still listening. The catharsis here is just getting the words down on paper. I'll likely close this thread as soon as the first thing I think about in the morning isn't Her.