Being irrational?

[sneaky_ninja_bunny]

I've recently been talking about ddlg with my old fwb (well call him S) when hanging out. He knows I'm a middle and said him being my dom would be super simple and great idea since we already click with topics regarding sex and stuff. But I have objections that I think are perfectly reasonable but he says I'm being to selective and difficult. For context S is in an open marriage and has another sub besides his wife. None of this I have issues on.

 

The problem I do have with him being my daddy is he's father to my son (which I dont hold him accountable on that because medication did just happen to fail) and I'm not poly. If I have a daddy, we're in all sense of the word, dating and the ddlg lifestyle wouldn't be a 24/7 thing because I am a mom and I do have to pause on being little. I dont want to have a daddy I couldn't have my son get super used to seeing. S will be in my kids life, but it's not going to be the same consistency, son would be seeing my future daddy.

 

I also will full on admit I am selfish with sharing my daddy. When I have a daddy, I dont want to share him with another sub unless it's an agreed arrangement. I want to be the only one he can focus his attention too when it comes to little time. Not having to worry about him texting another little for arranging their playtime and stuff.

 

Am I being irrational? Is that asking for to much for a ddlg dynamic?

[LittleTeacup]

You don't seem irrational to me, at least not any more than most people are. You have your thought out reasons for not wanting S to be your daddy, and he should respect that.

 

Lots of littles only want monogamous relationships so that's not out of the ordinary. Lots of littles also don't want or can't do a 24/7 kink lifestyle. There are also many little who are parents. You're hardly asking too much. You just want a serious relationship with a ddlg aspect.

[Cara Innes]

This actually sounds very rational indeed.

It sounds like you understand and are validating what your true feelings and needs as a little girl are. You are taking care to consider what would be good for your entire family (both for now, and in the future); and, you understand what you can offer as a little girl from a practical standpoint.

That is to say: you're being honest. And that's important to the success of any relationship dynamic.

[Lollipox]

It’s not irrational to want that kind of commitment in your DD/lg relationship.

Although if the question is “is that too much to expect of S?”, then yes. (I wasn’t sure if that was the reason for bringing him up?)

 

Otherwise that’s a pretty common level of expectation for most monogamous relationships let alone the DD/lg dynamic.

So look for what you’re wanting. Don’t settle just because of your history and the fact he’s already in your life.

[sneaky_ninja_bunny]

[Lollipox]

I mostly brought him up to see if my reasoning for declining him was rational. With him being in life as is, he seems to think I'm being to difficult with this subject.

Got it. Thank you. ^^

[Guest MonsterDaddy]

I instantly worry about your son in this situation. Your happiness is paramount, but protecting your son comes first. I don't know enough to know what's right for you or your family. But this has me worried for your son. You may not hold S accountable, but he should hold himself accountable imo.. Doesn't sound like good Daddy material if he already isn't a good Daddy. I'm sure I know too little to be making those judgements...

[sneaky_ninja_bunny]

I instantly worry about your son in this situation. Your happiness is paramount, but protecting your son comes first. I don't know enough to know what's right for you or your family. But this has me worried for your son. You may not hold S accountable, but he should hold himself accountable imo.. Doesn't sound like good Daddy material if he already isn't a good Daddy. I'm sure I know too little to be making those judgements...

I'm not sure I understand what you mean about this? Honestly regarding him being a daddy for my son, hes more sperm donor then anything. I dont want to hold him accountable since to be honest I dont blame him. We did all the birth control possible that could be used and my son just decided he was gonna be here. Are you worries about S being around d my son in general?

[Guest MonsterDaddy]

I wont feel good if i hurt your feelings, so please understand thats not my intention. We're all shaped by our own experience, so what comes next is a product of that. Too many boys grow up without their father, and whether S wanted a kid or not, he got one. I think he should act like it and be a father first. I dont understand how anything could possibly be more important than that. Not even Ddlg. Sex and fantasy are overvalued when theyre more important than being a parent.

[JustWantCuddles!]

Not irrational at all. If you know what you want stick to it! You will find the perfect daddy that will fit all of your needs.