Huge huge huge warning - fake profiles galore and how to protect yourself!

[daddyslittlewish]

Hi there,

 

recently i've had some really really bad experiences. I've been getting together with a Little slowly over a period of 4 weeks (met her on FetLife). We were very close and intimate, deeply expressing emotions and it was very, very beautiful. Finally she even wanted to visit me and i was in heaven. I wanted to pick her up and got up at 4am and drove 2 hours to the airport. She didn't arrive. Did the same the next day, though she maybe missed the flight. But again no Little.

 

After mainly being really really concerned i started digging in deeper. I found one image she sent me from a party she attended, and using the logo from the club i ventured deeper and in the end found out (thanks to facebook and club profiles): The picture was from a completely different girl, from another country.

It seems that a picture set from her is circulating, and bad people are using it to create false profiles. In my case the fake little even created facebook pages for herself and her friends/family to support her story.

 

This was one of the worst and saddest experiences of my live... i really fell in love with a fake... if i'd show you the chat log you wouldn't believe it... there were almost NO signs of anything wrong.

 

In order to never let this happen again, i'm now doing this little check as soon as possible after i started writing with someone over a messenger:

 

• Ask them to do a little fake-check.
• You take a picture of yourself in an unusual pose. Ideally including your face, but you can start just with your hand at first if she feels better like this.
• Dunno, have your fingers in a strange position or something. It needs to be a kind of picture the potential faker is very unlikely to have ready.
• When using kik also ask them to use the kik camera feature, and NOT the "gallery", which is additional prove.
• If the first agree to participate in the check, and after receiving your picture take more time than you would expect: CAUTiOUS. They might be using Google image search to try to come up with anything. Do this yourself then. Copy the picture, get on Goole and click on "Images" on the top right. Drag&Drop your image and see what Google comes up with
• If a picture is being sent back, look at it closely: Could it be a stock image? does it have a completely black background for example? --> fake
• Are they coming up with excuses like "my camera is broken", or "i don't know, with <messengerx> my camera doesn't work, i'll take it tomorrow!", then this is a biiiiiiiig warning sign. I never had a case with a real profile where this really was the issue.
• If the picture they sent seems legit, and you still have some doubt, take the test again, best with a face on it, so it's impossible to fake
• If all goes well, and you ever should feel unsure again, redo the test. The better you know each other, the easier they will agree to do the check.

 

Believe it or not, yesterday again i got contacted by a potential little over this very forum. After writing for 2 hours and we felt some kind of connected, i asked her to do the check... and believe it or not it was indeed another fake account. Maybe there is a group of fakers that have just targeted me, i don't know. Also i have no idea about the backgound why they're doing it. Maybe they just want to get lots of images for you so they can use these for yet another fake account that will then be used to try to blackmail a girl or something... no idea. Maybe it's just someone who doesn't understand what DDLG is about, puts it in the wrong direction and feels like he is doing something good by making people feel bad.

 

I hope this will help some of you to get more trust early in a potential DDLG relationship. I suggest to ALL littles to do the check, as you probably are the most likely target by the bad people out there. And you are the most fragile... little hearts can be broken much easier 

 

I wish you all a great time and that noone ever will have to make the experience i have lately... I'm gonna go crying again. 

 

Best wishes, hugs and all!

[Princess Ahri]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.. thank you for the advice though and I hope you feel better soon. >.<

[Guest Strawberry]

i'm so sorry!! the test works in reverse correct? for littles screening fake caregivers as well?

[daddyslittlewish]

i'm so sorry!! the test works in reverse correct? for littles screening fake caregivers as well?

 

Exactly, it works both ways! And don't be afraid to ask for it, any real daddy will understand and happily do the test with you!

 

.. and thanks   

[bakeitwithabee]

this is so tragic, i guess that's the burden that comes along with meeting people online. I hope that a great  (real) little comes your way soon:3 This helped me too because you want to believe someone so badly when you click so easily online and have blind faith in them. I will definitely be more cautious now so thanks for the post. Don't be sad please.

<3

[SpinSpinSugar]

I'm sorry to hear that This is a huge issue with online anything of late - dating either vanilla or kink-wise is rife with it. It's why I will only start to contact someone for a certain amount of time, then I also ask for various proof, and eventually schedule for meeting up. If they can't commit to any of those things, I don't bother getting too invested. Online relations are a minefield. I've had several people contact me on this site who haven't made any posts but 'wanting a little' and I immediately tend to steer clear of those. It pays to be cautious.

[Guest Penny]

Skype is invaluable! I refuse to meet up with anyone online without first seeing them on Skype.

[Guest LittleAnna]

Skype is best ... no  faking can be done with a live video cam!

[Beckie]

I have every potential person I meet do the test but I'm always afraid to talk on video call right away. I had someone immediately hang up because I was "fat" and he didn't want a fat slut. I mean if we do get serious I will work up to it but I'm always afraid to video at first.

But I am sorry that happened to you it happened to me too with a past potential daddy. I waited for hours for him to get me and he never showed never gave an excuse. It was horrendous. I'm sorry.

[DaddyJ]

I'm very sorry to read your story daddyslittlewish, I hope you feel better. Thanks for raising the warning. 

 

In the initial stages of meeting someone online it's always a bit tricky. I think these forums are a good supplement, but obviously just because someone hasn't posted to the forum doesn't mean they're not being authentic.

 

I agree if you're striking up a one-to-one conversation then a fake-test is a good idea for both parties, but especially for littles. Some people will be too shy or scared to video chat at first, but if it gets to the stage where you are thinking of meeting up in real life, then to me it's crucial that you've had some face-to-face video chat sometime before that.

 

It is worth taking your time and being a little cautious, but don't be sad or discouraged, there are many genuine and friendly people here!

[Guest sweetdreams420]

[SpinSpinSugar]

In the initial stages of meeting someone online it's always a bit tricky. I think these forums are a good supplement, but obviously just because someone hasn't posted to the forum doesn't mean they're not being authentic.

 

That may be the case, but in past experience I've found those kinds of people were the ones who pounced on the 'new blood' before the newbies knew who were safe, and who to avoid. Again it's one of those cases of 'been there, done this, won't be a sucker again' so I personally just steer clear of that kind of behaviour as I've been burned and I've certainly seen it happen to others. Not that someone can't be a fake even by building up a rapport (which is what a lot of fake profile runners do now, it's a business, they're trying to get enough information out of someone to scam you out of funds, usually, or even do blackmail demands). But I find I tend to just not bother with anyone who can't establish a rapport outside of their seeking for new, fresh fish, as it were. It's a bummer the authentic ones may suffer as a result, but authentic people tend to change their approach if what they're doing isn't working - while the scam artist will just stick to their formulae, like a pickup artist: it may not work on the current person, but they'll keep trying as they know it will eventually work on someone.

 

Let's all be careful out there.

[JohnApple]

Very unfortunate to hear this happening and I'm sorry it happened to you! I've gotten burned before too, and ever since then I've been very cautious. You wouldn't believe the number of fake littles I've come across over the years, and it really makes you think "What is the point of doing that? What purpose does it serve?" It's the main reason why I've pretty much given up on online dating.

[daddyslittlewish]

Very unfortunate to hear this happening and I'm sorry it happened to you! I've gotten burned before too, and ever since then I've been very cautious. You wouldn't believe the number of fake littles I've come across over the years, and it really makes you think "What is the point of doing that? What purpose does it serve?" It's the main reason why I've pretty much given up on online dating.

 

Thanks John (and also all the others for your symphathies  ),

 

i'm thinking exactly the same thing now... too bad it's so hard to find a (obviously non-fake) little from around oneself... this kind of bdsm is still way too much in the shadow of society... i hope things will at least change a little and it becomes more understood and known.

I don't think i could live in a completely vanilla relationship ever again though

[fluffycity]

Such a tragic story! Just remember that even real actual littles do this, and she really may have shared her real actual feelings with you. Just because a photo or other personal details are fake doesn't mean their feelings for you were too.

 

Also this is a really good guide for everyone to read, there should be a sticky about verifying who you're talking to in a fun way.

 

Video can also be faked, by the way, as can writing on a piece of paper. Unique photo requests are the best bet.

[Guest NYGuy]

The kik camera function test is a genius idea actually! Will definitely keep that in mind. Good vibes going your way man. Sorry this happened to you.

[FattieJessie]

Why do people whould do that. I don't get it.

Hope you find someone real and all the best.

[Daddy4Princess]

Another thing, don't be afraid to ask for references. If they're in the DD/lg community, they may know some people already.

 

I have a Fetlife profile, and I would encourage anyone checking on me to message my friends for references. And since my babygirl and I are in an open relationship, she would want to meet any new littles I was conversing with.

 

Bottom line, don't feel ooky about asking for references. It's your safety at stake, not just wasted time with a fake profile.

[Guest KittyCatAlex]

Wow, I'm so sorry that something like this happened to you! Thank you for warning others though.

[Guest Thejackkeaton]

Hi! 

 

I really feel for you. Sorry you fell victim and I hope a few people get your warning in time.

Sadly, and perhaps equally painful, even real profiles can turn out to be a ditz.

 

After a few days of texting back and forth... poof. Disappeared. Despite conclusive fake-checking.

They're ruining the internet for the rest of us! 

[Cherry41]

I am sorry this happened to you. I hate "catfishing"/scamming. Your fake check process is good. More warning signs:

 

-They want to move the relationship along much faster than you are comfortable with, claiming to be in love or your best friend right away.

-They hint or ask for money (or gifts long before the two of you have reached that point in your relationship.)

-They mention having family, business, or an upcoming trip to a place known for rings of scammers (this one can be absent...many scammers are from our own countries) 

-The details of their life that you can observe do not match what they tell you. ie: claiming to be living in a college dorm but not seeming to understand your references to dorm life...saying they never go out but sending pics of them at clubs, etc. 

-They try to isolate you by insisting you spend all your time chatting with them, or giving you little projects...such as books to read and discuss with them... that keep you constantly occupied. This is done so you wont discuss your new relationship with someone who might see the red flags. 

-They have a series of misfortunes that prevent the two of you from meeting offline. 

[Guest curious-babydoll]

Also make sure to have your own way to check. Scammers/fakes/catfishes look for stuff like this to have it ready so make sure you have one that is your own! I didn't see Papa the first few weeks were chatting then I got a picture with the time and day- so I was okay for a week or so then I wanted to video chat and it took encourage meant but he did- he really was just scared. He was who he was saying he was so I was lucky. I have been catfished before and it Sucks. Good vibes your way man!

[Guest XxRWBYxX]

i feel for you, it sucks when this happens, and that check will be useful for me, i never had a check to say, mostly i skype them before anything serious happens to make sure they are real. Thanks for the heads up and good luck to you and hope things work out for u in the future.

[daddyjames]

This is, sadly, something that can happen in almost any community. Dating sites are notorious for using fake profiles to lure people in (and getting them to become paid subscribers). There are methods, like OP and others described, for 'testing' someone to see if they're real. But there are problems here, too.

 

Firstly, there's an abundance of easily accessible pictures of people online. Anyone wanting to make a fake profile of anyone can find a stack of pictures in minutes. Recording and playback software make asking someone to go on webcam not reliable either.

 

But the most important issue is this: if you start off with a new person assuming they may be a 'fake', you risk sabotaging the relationship before it even begins. Imagine how you'd feel if you're chatting to someone, maybe starting to get comfortable, and they start demanding that you 'prove' that you're you. It's not a nice feeling, it's like being accused of lying. A lot of people I know would end the conversation at this point, especially if they've been asked to turn on their webcam or something like that.

 

A rejected request for 'proof' then adds more fuel to the idea that the person you're chatting with isn't who they say they are, but that may not always be the case. Personally I don't ask for 'proof' (though I confess I get suspicious sometimes). I prefer to let someone open up and share what they want at their own pace. That obviously leaves me open to getting burned in the same kind of way that OP did, but personally I feel that these relationships should be built on trust, not start from a basis of suspicion.

 

There's also the fact that communities like this are very private places. Many people don't want their face being associated online with this side of their personality. Many people feel (justly or unjustly) that they have a personal or professional reputation to protect, and are unwilling to open themselves to the vulnerability of exposure. So people can have legitimate reasons for not sharing information or pictures of themselves, or even for using a pseudonym. By trying to force someone to share more than they're willing or able to, you risk pushing them away and even losing out on a valuable friendship or relationship.

 

All that being said, a lot of people have suggested ways to spot fakes, so I'll try to add to that list because it is important.

 

One way I've found of spotting someone who isn't legitimate is to try and change the subject. Example: you have someone who claims to be a little who likes... I don't know, let's say feet. Turn the subject away, and if they bring it back time after time, that's a warning sign in my book.

 

For obvious reasons, anyone who asks for money is definitely suspicious. If someone claims to need money for a ticket to come to visit you, offer to pay for it yourself. There's no difference between you buying it and you sending them the money to buy it themselves, after all. If they aren't interested in this, I would take that as a warning sign.

 

The yes-man (or yes-woman): someone who asks a lot of questions, and seems to like everything you like but never leads with likes or dislikes of their own. This behavior can be subtle and hard to spot, but if you get someone who never seems to volunteer any information or answer questions, that could be a warning sign. Example:

 

Fakey: So what ages do you like for a little?

Notfake: I guess about 3-4.

Fakey: Wow what a coincidence, that's my little age! So do you like diapers?

Notfake: No not really.

Fakey: Yeah me either, they're silly!

 

I didn't mean to write so much, turns out I had more to say than expected.

 

OP, I'm very sorry that this happened to you. Know that you will get over it, and in time you'll be able to trust people again. It hurts like a SoaB right now, but it will get better. Best wishes to you mate.

[MellyBoo19912015]

If someone asked me for proof straight off they wouldn't have a chance. I don't like showing my face much considering most days the pain takes its toll on me and I look crap. I mean who wants to see a picture of someone just after they have been praying to the porcelain God?!

 

Also if someone can't trust me to just talk, nothing else, just good plain talk, without seeing what I look like, my brain starts to go in the "is all they care about looks?" Direction. I'm fine with showing people I trust what I look like. People I know who won't out me etc. To me showing myself is an act of trust and something that is earnt.