She rarely calls me daddy?

[Strange-Candy]

My little says shes almost constantly in little space. She doesn't act any differently though, really. She also rarely ever calls me daddy, which makes me kinda sad. It's a weird subject to bring up to her because shes not doing anything wrong necessarily, its just not my preference. But I feel like it's no different than our relationship prior to starting the dynamic. I dont really feel like my efforts in setting her up a routine or rewarding/punishing her are really worth it as I dont get much out of it, really. There's not much different other than I've established those things for her. I'm excited shes my little. I dont feel like she is.

[Guest littlebabyslittlespace]

This made me really sad to read, I think you need to have a talk with her about it

[Little kaiya]

People on a forum aren't going to be able to explain why you're partner doesnt want to call you Daddy, only she can do that in all honesty.

 

Having a conversation is really important to figure out where her head is at, what she's thinking and what she's feeling. There are just way too many reasons she might not call you Daddy very often and people on here can only speculate.

 

Why is it a weird subject to bring up in your mind? Communication isn't only about bringing up or discussing issues, it's also a pretty critical tool to avoid minor issues growing into bigger ones, a way for BOTH partners to express their feelings and really to grow closer together.

 

If you dont feel like she's your little that's a pretty big point she needs to know, don't you think.

 

Little kaiya

Edited August 28, 2019 by Little kaiya

[Strange-Candy]

Mostly it just feels weird to talk about because it feels more like a personal preference on my part than a real issue, but I did talk to her about it and some other things. She says shes just adjusting because it's new to her and shes shy. We've been in a dom/sub relationship for months but she figured out in the last couple of months she was a little.

 

But she also doesn't see some of my other issues in my perspective. I put a lot of effort and time into building her a routine based on her reward system. She has depression and sometimes it's worse than others. Most of her tasks are built around keeping her moving when it gets really bad and keeping her caring for herself. But she only does them when she feels like it and it doesn't seem to matter to her when she gets in trouble. Like its daily. So if I punish her literally everytime she doesn't do them it would be every day and it's kinda exhausting for me. The only thing she hates punishments wise is when I spank her with the crop but she really hates it so its reserved for really bad things. Other than that nothing else seems to matter. But when I try to talk to her about this she gets really upset and says shes a bad sub, which makes me feel bad for saying anything at all.

 

I did tell her today that I feel like I'm putting in a lot of effort and I'm getting nothing really in return. I hated to put it that bluntly but my life is very busy and I always make time for her and I'm trying really hard to be a good daddy, but I feel like shes not. Idk. I'm just kinda overall discouraged. I've been really sad today about it.

 

Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place. I'm not the best at organizing them.

[Little kaiya]

You've done a good job of organizing your thoughts, dont be so hard on yourself.

 

If she doesn't want a routine like the one you've established that is her choice and you can't really force it on her, it just doesn't work that way. It could be the routine isn't the right one for her, perhaps it's not the right one for right now or it may be something else completely. Not every submissive or little has or wants a daily routine that they have to follow. That being said, her just saying "oh I'm a bad sub" to avoid the conversation isnt very functional either. You both may benefit by taking a step outside the DDlg dynamic to have a serious conversation about what you both want from the relationship.

 

Lastly, good on you for putting your needs out on the table in a direct way. There's a lot of talk about the needs of littles but not a lot about the needs of Daddys and BOTH are equally important.

 

Relationships are complicated and when you add other dynamics like DDlg they can get more so. Hopefully the two of you can find some common ground but if not just remember, you deserve what makes you happy and so does she. Sadly it may or may not be the right fit between the two of you. Never stay in a relationship that isnt making you happy. There will be rough times, arguments and disagreements or differences of opinion, that's normal BUT if you're unhappy more than happy it may be a sign of vastly mismatched needs and desires for the relationship.

 

Little kaiya

Edited August 28, 2019 by Little kaiya