Bad Girl... </3

[KittyPrettyKitty]

Hey, so my daddy and I have the rule that we don't drink or smoke anything unless with each other. I messed up the rule and drank while I was with my cousin with daddy knowing. He's really upset and says he's disappointed and wants to die </3 what do I dooooo ((((

[KittyPrettyKitty]

Without daddy knowing*

[MysticSand]

Talk to each other, about everything.

 

- Why is that a rule? Is it for safety so you can look out for each other? Or is there another reason?

- Before drinking with your cousin, did you consciously think about this rule and then willingly broke it? Or did you drink without remembering the rule?

- Are you upset by this? Why is your partner upset by this? (Understandably because it was an agreed upon rule, but what's behind it?)

- Is this a reasonable rule going forward? Revisit why this rule is in place. If reasonable, keep it and reinforce that it needs to be kept. If not reasonable, do away with or alter it!

 

I think the reason behind this rule is the most important. You were drinking with your cousin, so from my perspective I think that should be a little more tolerable than if you were drinking with friends/strangers. The reasoning behind it is that cousin is family! Not sure if that changes anything though since, rules are rules!

Edited August 24, 2019 by MysticSand

[Little kaiya]

The part of your original post that has me concerned is the "He's really upset and says he's disappointed and wants to die". I'm hoping this is figurative / exaggeration more than anything because if it is literal that is truly concerning.

 

Other than that MysticSand pretty much hit the nail on the head in my view.

 

Little kaiya

[Guest You&me]

Because it is a rule it should also have a punishment associated with it. Do the punishment and promise never to break the rule again. Perhaps your caregiver should increase the punishment because the rule was disregarded so easily this time by yourself. If no punishment was ever talked about then it’s also time to establish some type of repercussion. He is extremely upset and the two of you need to work together and allow this unfortunate experience to help bring you together and not draw you apart. You two are a team!

[Guest daddy'ssweetpea]

I am also concerned with the he wants to die part. Rules that are broken should have a consequence that leads to forgivness. Daddy's should not take it personally when their rules are broken, they should know we are not trying to hurt them on purpuse. If he really wants to die I dare say he may not be stable enough to be a daddy right now.

[junebug0325]

I am also concerned with the he wants to die part. Rules that are broken should have a consequence that leads to forgivness. Daddy's should not take it personally when their rules are broken, they should know we are not trying to hurt them on purpuse. If he really wants to die I dare say he may not be stable enough to be a daddy right now.

 

I agree. There are rules and consequences for a reason. I truly hope that saying that "he wants to die" is an exaggeration and not something he said seriously as I would be concerned about your relationship. If he truly said that, I would not trust him to be mentally stable to be a Daddy for you at this time. Again, I hope it is just an exaggeration.

 

 

Junebug xxx

[Aston]

Yeah, this has nothing to do with DDLG or even relationships in general. you two really need to have a sit-down and do meta-talk about your relationship.

 

Unless you're both recovering alcoholics, I don't see how on earth it can be so upsetting.

[KittyPrettyKitty]

We both have really bad experiences with drunk people around us, if that makes any more sense

[Guest harry.tf]

"wants to die"

Seems a little un-called for, how do you feel about what your caregiver is saying?

[MadelynVictoria]

The fact he's saying such extreme things like he wants to die over something so trivial is raising some red flags in my mind. It's normal and okay to be disappointed that you broke that rule, but wanting to die because of that is really extreme and worrisome. If he seriously feels that way, then he may need to speak with somebody about his feelings, because that is not normal.