Advice needed - New to being a Daddy

[Guest SCLDGhost]

Hello all. I am new to writing on forums (always lurk but never post) so sorry if its hard to read. If i don't make sense then my apologies, English is my first language but I still suck at it so if there's any questions feel free to ask and thanks in advance.

 

I have been friends with someone (who is currently my little) for about a year now but only recently has he started to become a little (about 3/4 months now). We are now together as of a couple of weeks (officially, unofficially a bit longer). He says that I'm good and all but i know for a fact that I'm not, I don't know how to deal (interact might be a better word,) with him.

 

He asked me to make at least one rule for him to follow but I've still not done that, I don't know what kind rules to make and what punishments to give (I don not have any imagination lol,) as we are long distance.

 

I also have trouble to make him know and show that I'm in control he's bratty and talks back which I like and so does he, he mostly does it as he wants me to show that I'm in control but I'm not to sure how.

 

I am also a very shy person and never have confidence, I worry that I'm ashamed of this as I can't imagine being with him in public when he's a little.

 

He knows that I struggle with this and said that he should explain to me but he can't so I'm asking yous for any advice and tips and anything I should know.

 

Also a side note, since this want a thing from the beginning I always thought that he goes into little place to get away from his (past) problems and that It's not healthy, when I said that to him he told me not to look into it so since then i haven't thought bout it that much, I'm just happy that he is. Just want to know what others think about this.

[SleepyKitten]

I don't know how much of what I say will help, but I am also in a long distance relationship and figured maybe hearing some advice from a little's perspective might help.

 

(for the interacting and how to show control ideas/advice I asked my partner to comment on here later on for his point of view)

 

As for rules, if your little has any form of medication he has to take or anything he does routinely (like a work out session, a dietary plan: eat so many fruit and veg) that can become a rule. They can be basic things to follow but it allows there to be structure in a little's life. It helps me to hand over control to my Caregiver because I am following what he tells me to do.

Other ones can be more self love oriented. I had quite a big confidence issue especially with my body when I was first with my partner and so some of my rules were written like "no saying anything negative about yourself" etc. (if these rules are disobeyed I think it's probably better to not have a punishment but more to have a talk about why it's bad or talk through the issue?).

 

If I break a rule (depending on the severity) I sometimes I am not allowed sweets or Crisps for the day, I have to have a time out for a few minutes (we video call for this so he can see i am sat against the wall not playing with any stuffies or my phone etc), early bedtimes, writing lines is another simple one because you can make it about any rule that is broken by making your little write out that they must not break *insert rule*.

There are also punishments and funishments. Because your little is a brat there can be fun punishments (like spanking, most little's enjoy spanking) that are used for lighter rules being broken (talking back can be one of those rules). However for more serious rules that you want them to actually follow and 'enforce' they should have a less fun punishment to stop them from repeatedly breaking the rule.

 

I hope atleast some of this helps, it's more based off my experience but yeah.

[DanishDomDaddy]

How to interact with your little 101

- follow their tempo: by this I mean to scout out for their mood. If they are in a bad mood cheer them, usually baby talk helps putting them in little space. If they are in a cheerful mood. Be playful and active. Littles are kinda like cute pets in regards to their emotional needs. They want attention. LOTS OF ATTENTION. Make sure to set boundaries though, don't devote your entire life to them. You need your own space as well. a relationship is never one-sided and they need to tend to you as well. (Also tend to yourself).

 

Little space in public.

This is super cute. Being little doesn't have to be All kawai and uwu. IT can be more discreet find a happy medium of cuteness and adult for your public life. Because you should never restrain a littles ability to be little.

You can create nicknames for daddy and baby girl that suits your public life a little better. You can still dress little in public by adding a little adult to the outfit. Like a onesie with a pair of trousers over is a fashionable cute look. Or a lil pink skirt with a hoodie and so on and so on. Have fun with it.

 

This is all a dynamic relationship so make sure to keep talking about it and develop it together. And most importantly both of you need to be happy not just one of the partners.

 

-sleepys partner

[MissBHavin_DK]

My advice is: read! Read a bunch of threads in this forum (including the ones for littles), read blogs about DDlg, chat with other Daddys and talk with your little. Let him know that this is new and you have to have some time to get it. When I meet my Daddy he had never tried anything but vanilla. And the first year of our relationship he did a lot of reading and asking. He spoke to other doms and got advice when he was in the dark. we went to a lot of meetings at coffee shops with other couples and he observed and learned. And I had to be extra vocal about what I needed and liked. He still remembers very clearly when I ripped the cane out of his hand, walked out the front door naked and threw it over the road screaming' You'll get a new one when you know how to handle it!' 

Talk to your little about your thoughts on being little in public. Often little things that others don't notice goes a long way. Get an public nickname if you like and make him wear things that makes him feel little under whatever he is wearing. And remember a brat can get weak by just a look from Daddy. So if he acts out in public, all you have to is use your stern Daddy look. Establish that before you go out.  I know brats can be a handfull. But trust me a well placed hand on the back and a look dead in the eyes can make a big change.
 

As for rules, talk to him. Find out what is a hidden wish eg. if he wants to lose weight make training a rule and ask for pictures. And punishment well be creative, find out what he likes. I once had a Dom who made me sleep with a buttplug for a week because of something I don't remember now. But I do remember that week! I was afraid but curious about anal, so he used that. And boy was it humiliating to show that I've placed the plug when we said good night on the phone. 

This is you journey together, and you have to find out what makes you as a couple work. Mistakes will be made, but it's so rewarding when it works.  

[swissdaddy99]

since there seem to be only a few littles in and around switzerland (or i can't find them ;-) i am considering a LDR

 

i want to THANK YOU for the answers, it gave me a lot of ideas.....

 

ps: i am not the questioner of this thread ;-)