Not a little

[Ameliasong13]

[zanderandspike]

I hope this doesn't sound rude, but my first reaction to this is you can't force someone to be what they're not

 

As in: just because he wants you to be a little doesn't mean you are or have to be

 

I think an adult to adult conversation is really important, you both need to lay down some ground rules about what you want from this part of the relationship

 

Best of luck, Drea

[Little kaiya]

If you aren't a little or submissive then you aren't a little or a submissive. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. It's nice that you want to try for your fiancee but it's not really something that you can force and he should really respect where you're coming from to be honest.

 

Having stuffies or enjoying Disney movies doesn't make someone a little. My Wife LOVES Disney and has a stuffy collection but is in no way, shape or form a little and I'd never ask her to try and be one because it's not who she is at heart.

 

I really recommend sitting down and having an adult to adult conversation BEFORE your wedding day. If you dont get on the same page before your wedding it generally doesn't get better after you're married. There's nothing wrong with him initially asking or suggesting the idea but you should also never feel disrespected by your partner. Hopefully if you explain to him how you feel he will step back and put the issue to rest in a respectful way.

 

Little kaiya

Edited August 22, 2019 by Little kaiya

[BabyMattDiapers]

Thank you for sharing and being so open and honest. It sounds to me like you two need to have an adult to adult conversation about your relationship. If you are not a little that is ok. Just because you have stuffies and like Disney that does not automatically make you a little or submissive. My own mother loves Disney and has stuffies and I would in no way, shape or form say she is a little or submissive. Sounds to me that you and your fiance need to have a serious conversation about the nature of your relationship and the sooner the better for both of your sakes. If he truly loves you like he is going to be your husband, then he will respect your feelings on this and let you be who you are and not try to make you something you are not. 

[Guest Teasing Tink]

You don't sound like a bitch at all. I think it's just a dynamic that requires a lot of trust and vulnerability and the whole thing is obviously triggering for you due to your background. That's totally understandable. I think it's something you could learn how to enjoy and integrate (if you wanted) and could even be a potentially healing/therapeutic thing for you (rather than anxiety-inducing) so long as deep trust, genuine care, patience and understanding were there from your partner. You should never submit to anything less than true love/respect, after all. If that's the case, it just requires a perception change as someone doting on you or being playful with you rather than it being seen as something demeaning. It can all feel quite fun and safe with the right person. It's more like roleplay or tapping into your inner child, imo. Not meant to be 24/7 but it manifests differently in everyone. He shouldn't ever force it on you though. That wouldn't be very considerate. I think he should try to be understanding and meet you where you're at and if it winds up being some deal breaker for him (or you) or he isn't willing to work with you, that's his choice and you'd be better off without in that case. Just my two cents. Edited August 22, 2019 by Teasing Tink

[BigNutBrownHare]

Key to any of these lifestyle choices is informed consent. 

 

You have sought to understand your partner, you have supported his choices (particularly the ABDL part which a fair few even in this community find challenging), you have agreed to look further and inform yourself as to what being a little would mean.  You have looked and even tried and thought - no it just isnt me. 

 

That is enough.  Being who you are, and not what your partner wants you to be, does not make you a bitch. On the contrary it sounds as though you have been incredibly supportive without much complaint.  There is a mismatch between who you both want to be.  Relationships are about give and take.  How far you base your future on that is up to you, but do not doubt yourself so much that you become what he desires at the expense of who you feel you are.

 

Best of luck

 

BNBH

 

PS.  If he doesnt want you as you are - I can say with certainty there are people around here that will do.

[Kresaera]

He can't force you to be a little.  It's just something that either you are, or you're not.  I'm not sure what he is trying to accomplish by trying to make you behave in a certain way.  Not all littles have stuffies and watch Disney, and not all people who watch Disney and have stuffies are littles.  

 

I agree that you need to sit down with him and have a serious adult conversation about this.  Explain to him that it's just not who you are and it doesn't make you feel good or happy.  I am a little, and I couldn't imagine someone trying to make me be the dominant person in my dynamic.  I'd literally cry all the time.  

 

Good luck to you both.

[Ameliasong13]

Thank you for your responses. I have had many conversations about this with him and they are still very much on going. The last thing I want is for him to feel like I am shunning a part of him or wanting him to change himself. Like I said before I am completely ok with him liking to wear diapers. It was definitely weird at first but I’ve grown used to it. I guess I was just trying to find a common ground because being a “little” is just not something I am capable of doing and after our conversation today he understands that and is ok with that. I just never want him to feel like a part of him is being rejected by me as I know that is something he would never do to me.

Thank you for your help. I hope I didn’t step on any toes about where I posted this as I said before I’m not really sure how this works and don’t want to infringe.

[Aston]

I hope I didn’t step on any toes about where I posted this as I said before I’m not really sure how this works and don’t want to infringe.

 

clearly something about role reversal hits too close to home (and I won't pry into this any further)

if something just isn't your thing or emotionally hurts or upsets you, than that's just a personal personal boundary that is to be respected and a limit which should not be crossed.

 

I just wanted to add that none of this makes you a bitch. your fiance should consider himself lucky to be with someone who's willing to be understanding .

[Aston]

[...] Like I said before I am completely ok with him liking to wear diapers. It was definitely weird at first but I’ve grown used to it. I guess I was just trying to find a common ground because being a “little” is just not something I am capable of doing [...]

I think it's worth mentioning that the diapers are a legitimate kink on their own.

If you're trying to find common ground, have you every considered wearing diapers with him *without* there being any kind of ageplay or regression involved? .

[JustWantCuddles!]

I agree with everyone completely! 

Even if you wanted to please him and forced yourself to be a little or sub then it wont work!