Don’t know what to do

[Jadedragon92]

I made my little upset and I’m not sure how to fix it. She’s been looking forward to having a weekend off with me next month and asked me to to put in months ago and when I mentioned it to my bosses tonight they told me it wouldn’t be possible because of coverage. Now she’s upset and won’t answer me. I’d been promising her we’d go to renn fest because i thought I could get off. I don’t know how to make it up to her especially when she won’t answer her phone at all and I can’t drive to see her after work since she’s 2 and a half hours away

[baby_k]

You promased her long time ago and only now asked your bosses? I would be furious+upset too, and incredibly disapointed as you have shown that you don't really care of the trip too much and are not really looking forward to it. If something is truly important, you make sure it happens.

 

Had you asked the days off long time ago and got "no", I think she would have understood it easily. Now she was really looking forward to it and you broke your word. Don't promase things you can't give. Or had you got "can't tell yet" from your bosses, she would have known the situation also, and there wouldn't have been broken trust from your part.

 

I also don't understand how you can't drive to see her? It is still only 2,5h -> 5h, and I would assume you don't work 15h shifts every day of the month. I think in this case you should really show effort and regret in order to make it up. And make sure nothing like this will happen ever again.

 

Meanwhile, send her apology text(s) which show her that you have understood how you f*cked up, how sorry you are and so on.

[Guest EmotionDuck]

I made my little upset and I’m not sure how to fix it. She’s been looking forward to having a weekend off with me next month and asked me to to put in months ago and when I mentioned it to my bosses tonight they told me it wouldn’t be possible because of coverage. Now she’s upset and won’t answer me. I’d been promising her we’d go to renn fest because i thought I could get off. I don’t know how to make it up to her especially when she won’t answer her phone at all and I can’t drive to see her after work since she’s 2 and a half hours away

Hi!

Sorry, it's not clear for me if you promised it long time ago to meet or you discussed it recently, because it would matter as a factor if she would have a reason to be that upset.

 

If you've discussed it recently, like a week ago, and promised to go with her in September or end of August, then I do not see how you'd be wrong here, since it's not in your power to give yourself days off. And you asked it in advance from your boss (as she had asked you to do, to ask in advance). I don't know how it is in your country, but in my country you can ask a month ahead for your vacations (that's the minimal time), it can get turned down tho, since another employee might have booked in advanced those dates.

 

In case you've discussed it weeks or even months ago, then yes, she has all the rights to be upset with you. It's honestly, in my opinion, not acceptable to promise something that big to a person whom you love and care about and then not to do a simple thing as ask in advance for the vacations in time. It's not that hard to write down a request (or whatever it's called) in advance. It just will show how much you didn't care about her or that she wasn't worth it.

And here I am talking from my experience, as I've been in LDR, where my partner promised me to get to see me, find a job and get a flight ticket (which we promised to split the cost half-half). And all he did was just promising and didn't put any effort in it, tho he could take a simple job as a waiter and get in a month adequate amount of money to come here (min. wage ~2000 euros before tax (15% tax for this amount) if you work full-time).

  

Besides, as a person above me stated, the drive isn't long for you, you can come to see her during your usual week-ends (I assume you have two consecutive days off). Unless you have a car, which maybe will be harder, but if you promised to see her, then I suppose you had a plan how to get to her and how much would be the cost of travel means. 

 

All I could say is you have to wait until she cools down and apologize properly by call if she is ready to talk to you. You can send her text messages, apologizing and explaining the situation, express your side and feelings too, it's important. You need to communicate, don't just send her hollow 'sorry's and don't be agressive/guilt tripping/blaming/don't raise your voice, it either will make her feel bad about herself and she might start to feel worthless or she would get more upset and probably pissed off, which could put a strain on your relationship with her. 

[Nymph]

I made my little upset and I’m not sure how to fix it. She’s been looking forward to having a weekend off with me next month and asked me to to put in months ago and when I mentioned it to my bosses tonight they told me it wouldn’t be possible because of coverage. Now she’s upset and won’t answer me. I’d been promising her we’d go to renn fest because i thought I could get off. I don’t know how to make it up to her especially when she won’t answer her phone at all and I can’t drive to see her after work since she’s 2 and a half hours away

 

 

I would be angry, sad and disappointed too. Actually I am a bit for her... I would have dumped you on the spot >_<

 

Now that I haz that off my chest, not all is lost if you are truly sorry. 

 

I think you should apologize but before you do you need to think long and hard about your reasons. Ask yourself why did you wait so long to ask your bosses, do you usually make plans without thinking much if it is possible or not? have you done stuff like this before to her? she is 2.5hrs drive and you haven't seen her in months?

 

Just the last question shows she has been more than patient with you and you are just taking her for granted. You must have a day off, let's assume it is sunday... drive after work on saturday and spend sunday with her! a simple sorry (in person) will say a lot more in this case than a long romantic letter.

 

Promises from a Daddy are the most important thing ever for a little, maybe you don't realize how strong this bond is.

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

I was about to say all these people are being overdramatic but then I reread your post and I noticed that you say your little specifically asked you *months ago* to put in for the time off, yet you waited until the night before? Seriously? You thought your bosses were just waiting with backup coverage or something in case someone did exactly that? Not the best plan. Next time ask right away.

[Guest LittleSnowiii]

She kinda has a right to... you promised months ago. And of course your superiors would say no, you asked with such little time. 

You need to be a bit more considerate next time. Like write stuff on a paper to not forget it.

Now all you can do is own to her... you broke her trust. So now very slowly try to get it back... 

[shadowrider]

I made my little upset and I’m not sure how to fix it. She’s been looking forward to having a weekend off with me next month and asked me to to put in months ago and when I mentioned it to my bosses tonight they told me it wouldn’t be possible because of coverage. Now she’s upset and won’t answer me. I’d been promising her we’d go to renn fest because i thought I could get off. I don’t know how to make it up to her especially when she won’t answer her phone at all and I can’t drive to see her after work since she’s 2 and a half hours away

#1 You never promise anything unless you can actually deliver. It is best to say I will try my best to make that happen. We all know things happen in life that we cannot control.

 

#2 The OP states they were supposed to go next month but they asked tonight not the night before wanting off.

 

#3 Some places only take time off requests withing 30 days of the desired time off which could be the case here, not enough info to say.

 

#4 Yes mentioning it to the boss when you first discussed it was the way to go even if the 30 day rule is in play. Always try because all they can say is ask later.

 

#5 Them not taking your calls or texts because they are mad is not a good thing. I don't care how upset you are you talk things through. You may need a bit to cool off but you talk.

 

#6 I don't know your work schedule, you may be on 7-12s or 7-16s in which case a 5 hour drive would be nearly impossible. But even with that schedule if my partner was that upset you can bet I would leave straight form work and make the drive. Even if I only saw her for 10 minutes and had to drive straight back to work. My relationship is more important than one nights sleep.

 

#7 Stop for 5 minutes and think about your relationship. If its worth everything you have then you know what you need to do. If you actually take the whole 5 minutes to decide, then maybe its not meant to be.

 

Either way, good luck.