Little advice

[Your Promised Neverland]

Hello everyoe i'm a newly joined little of this community i was wondering if you guy's gal's and others had any advice for me no matter how long or short it is i'll read it please leave you're comments and i'll answer i have just joined the ddlg community and bdsm community, if you have advice or want to share you're experience to help other new littles like me or other caregivers that would be very much appreciated thank you to those of you who read this and didn't click off Edited July 31, 2019 by ☆BambiTheFaerie☆

[junebug0325]

Never be afraid to say what you like/dislike. It's so important to communicate your limits (both hard and soft) when you are looking for someone to get into a relationship with, or even if you go to a play party and want to play with someone you haven't really met. Communication is the most important thing when you are entering this lifestyle, it can really hurt if you aren't open and honest.

 

I hope this helps! If you have any questions or just want someone to talk to, please feel free to message me!

 

 

Junebug xxx

[Your Promised Neverland]

Never be afraid to say what you like/dislike. It's so important to communicate your limits (both hard and soft) when you are looking for someone to get into a relationship with, or even if you go to a play party and want to play with someone you haven't really met. Communication is the most important thing when you are entering this lifestyle, it can really hurt if you aren't open and honest.

 

I hope this helps! If you have any questions or just want someone to talk to, please feel free to message me!

 

 

Junebug xxx

Thank you so much junebug as a new little i dont know much so thank you

[littlemissjane]

Lets talk about what puts you in     l i t t l e   s p a c e    

Some triggers for me are:

• Kawaii Music (search on youtube)
• Snacks (think goldfish and whatever treats you loved in your childhood)
• Being pet or having your hair brushed aside

[Nymph]

Age is really just a number, don't assume because a guy is older he will be a good daddy.

 

There are good daddies all ages, even the most sadistic dominant has respect for their slave, keep that in mind if you come across a bossy daddy who doesn't consider your needs.

 

Always be respectful appreciate your daddy when you find him. They don't HAVE to be your caregiver but they choose to be.

[Little kaiya]

Take your time, I really cant stress this enough. There are so, so many examples of people going onto sites and jumping into a relationship with the first person who sends them a friend request and having it end in disaster then feeling heartbroken.

 

In a very important way DDlg is just like any other relationship dynamic, get to know people, know yourself, what you want, what you'll negotiate and what you won't. Dont be in a rush to find just any Daddy, find the one that is right for you and make sure you're also right for them as a DDlg relationship is still a two way street.

 

Dont confuse being a little with being helpless. So many littles try to put everything in the hands of their partner and that can get unhealthy very quick. You need to be able to be self sufficient, yes you are a little but you're also an adult. There's a HUGE difference between between enjoying having a Daddy that makes decisions for you and being unable to make those decisions for yourself. The first scenario is healthy, the second less so.

 

Finally, there is no one way to be a little or in a DDlg relationship. Customize it for you and your partner. Make it your own and if you arent sure what your PARTNER might like, enjoy, want to be called, have you do to support them, etc.,well . . . . Ask THEM first, not strangers on an online forum. Asking for ideas to discuss with your partner is one thing, asking what your partner wants or needs . . . Only they can answer those questions.

 

Little kaiya

[Your Promised Neverland]

Take your time, I really cant stress this enough. There are so, so many examples of people going onto sites and jumping into a relationship with the first person who sends them a friend request and having it end in disaster then feeling heartbroken.

In a very important way DDlg is just like any other relationship dynamic, get to know people, know yourself, what you want, what you'll negotiate and what you won't. Dont be in a rush to find just any Daddy, find the one that is right for you and make sure you're also right for them as a DDlg relationship is still a two way street.

Dont confuse being a little with being helpless. So many littles try to put everything in the hands of their partner and that can get unhealthy very quick. You need to be able to be self sufficient, yes you are a little but you're also an adult. There's a HUGE difference between between enjoying having a Daddy that makes decisions for you and being unable to make those decisions for yourself. The first scenario is healthy, the second less so.

Finally, there is no one way to be a little or in a DDlg relationship. Customize it for you and your partner. Make it your own and if you arent sure what your PARTNER might like, enjoy, want to be called, have you do to support them, etc.,well . . . . Ask THEM first, not strangers on an online forum. Asking for ideas to discuss with your partner is one thing, asking what your partner wants or needs . . . Only they can answer those questions.

Little kaiya

Thank you so much for the advice this was very helpful to me

[Your Promised Neverland]

Age is really just a number, don't assume because a guy is older he will be a good daddy.

 

There are good daddies all ages, even the most sadistic dominant has respect for their slave, keep that in mind if you come across a bossy daddy who doesn't consider your needs.

 

Always be respectful appreciate your daddy when you find him. They don't HAVE to be your caregiver but they choose to be.

Thank you for you're advice i really appreciate it

[NathanR]

*Please forgive me if these points have been covered already by previous comments. If nothing else, please consider my reply an underlining or highlighted by the previous posters. While I did read some, I did not read them all.

1) Your personal/emotional safety absolutely must come first.
    a. Research about how to set up a relationship in the BDSM community, those rules always apply here.

    b. Know what your limits are and stand up for them.
    c. Never give out personal information to anyone right away. Especially anything specific to your full name, address and phone number. There are a lot of really creepy people out there who seek to exploit and/or take advantage of others.
    d. Take the time to chat with (interview) the interested party for awhile and do your research about who they are. Ask lots of questions and ask again later to see how the answer has changed.

 

2) Never second guess the little in you. Understand that there is nothing wrong with you or what you are feeling, your little is there for a reason. Instead, seek to protect it and find people who will help nurture it.

 

3) Learn what a good DD/CG actually is. Some traits may include:

     a. Extreme Patience
     b. Understanding
     c. Emotionally Stable

     d. Guided by rules. Adheres to them. Respects the ones created by his little and gently enforces them as they were agreed to.
     e. Never abusive in any capacity. (Unless otherwise agreed to)

     f. Natural care giver.

4) Realize that there is a difference between adulting and little space. Don't mix the two, especially when it comes to sex. I keep hitting this nail because of how emotionally vulnerable a little is when in that space and how easily they can be hurt in a very permanent way if things are not handled properly by someone who has your best interest in mind. See point 3)

5) Never be afraid to ask questions or speak out. This is how you can find people who will support you with answers and possible friendship.

- So far I have found this community to be a pretty good one. There is a core group of people here whom I have had the pleasure of chatting with and look forward to hearing back from. Please feel free to reach out to any of us but please observe sec 1) c. Your personal safety must come first and anyone who has it in their best interest, too, wont be asking for those kinds of details.

Good luck out there. Be safe!

Edited September 4, 2019 by NathanR