Coping w/ Death

[StrawberryBabydoll]

I know this is a jarring question. It definitely doesn't belong with the rest of the questions on here. But how does one cope in a healthy way with the death of a sibling?

 

My sister died on June 2nd. And I haven't really been able to..make sense of things like I used to. I was sharp, and now I feel dull and not who I once was. I keep getting these tsunamis of just feeling..blah. Not good, but not bad either you know?

 

I'm sorry if this is upsetting to anyone.. that was definitely not my intention. I just wanted to get any advice.

[Guest Aetherr]

i lost my mum back in 2016 and i dont feel like im the same person, this sort of stuff is among the worst tragedies a paerson can go through, you will recover somewhat with time but i dont think you wiull heal entirely

 

i wish i had something more cheerful to say but i wont lie either

Edited July 27, 2019 by Aetherr

[Alaskan Daddy]

I am so sorry for your loss. You do need to apologize fir sharing your feelings here. I lost my dad suddenly when I was 10 and I was numb for a long time. But what kept me going was just having

alone time when I could think about him and all the goods times we had as a family.  I remember having all these feelings knowing he was not coming back. And I allowed those feelings to stay and just pass through me. There are no cookie cutter answers. I feel the best thing you can do is too talk to someone you trust when ever you have feelings about your sister you want to share and to share the feelings you are having at certain times about her. I feel the worst thing you can do is to hide your feelings and not let them out. What you are going through is very normal.

I hope this helps. I wish you the best of luck.

[BakedPotato]

Grief is so so so hard. Its confusing, and I dont think it will ever make sense. I just lost a best friend last month. He and i lived with my parents before I moved out. id see him all the time. We talked and text, he would come see me after work. And now its just....void? Its just not a thing anymore. There wasnt a way to accept we werent going to see each other anymore. It just happened. Everything with that person is ripped away from you. I think what works best, is to let the grief happen. Let the numb or whatever youre feeling, let it happen. It wont get better until you let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. Something that resonated with me at the time was a comic someone had made. At the end it said something like, "grief isnt necessarily just loss. Its the feeling of loving someone and not being able to give that love to them anymore." I still hear his voice, i have nightmares almost every night. But when i wake up, I think to myself about all of the good times I had with them. And all of the times i remember he was happy, or when he did something he enjoyed doing. At the end of our life, we have our memories and what we marked our world with. I would focus on your sister, and things she did while alive. People she loved being around. Any impact she may have had. I also built a little alter. It has some of the things we had given each other, some herbs and plants for peace, incense, candles, pictures, clothing, cards from loved ones. I dont know if youre religious, I'm not myself. But i still meditate or say a prayer. Sometimes its nice to be able to talk to them, tell them things you would tell them if they were still here. You probably wont be able to get back to your old self, but you can work on becoming someone better having gone through this. <3 let yourself be sad or angry, and then let those feelings go. I hope this helps in some way, youre welcome to PM me if youd like! <3

[Brother Bear]

I lost my parents many years ago and I'm still not really over it. I listen to this when I'm feeling their loss: 

[Brother Bear]

This one is good as well when you are feeling like it's unfair that you are left behind when someone moves on from this life.

 

[Guest LittleSnowiii]

First of all I want to say I'm very sorry for your lost.

I have dealt with grief more than once, so feel free to see which things I'll mention might help:

 

1) take your time. Do not rush the grief process, however don't let it consume you. 

Everyday take 1h of the day to grief. Can be crying, can be keeping a journal about your feelings, can be venting to someone. Whateaver you want. But that one hour is yours to deal with the pain.

 

2) do things that make you happy. Hobbies help so much to keep your mind busy, and to make you feel productive. Will give your brain some peace and quiet for a bit.

 

3) celebrate your sister's life. I really doubt she would want you to focous so much about her death, and not in her life! All the years until her passing away I'm sure you've seen many victories of hers, many beautiful and happy moments. Even her personality is something to celebrate! T

Tell people about how awesome she was, her accomplishments, what she meant. 

People might be gone but their doings never will ^^ and is important to keep that alive.

 

4) talk to people that feel the same way as you do. Like talk to your family or someone that had similar experiences. Sometimes is important to not feel alone with things like this.

Is important to have our feelings validated!

 

Really hope I helped a tiny bit.

Also, my inbox is always open for you in case you need to.

Keep strong and remember, you're not alone.

Sending you tons of virtual hugs <3

[Ponygirl]

So very sorry for your loss.  Grief truly does take time and is an individual process.  For me, it was like riding a roller coaster.  I lost my mom in 2000 and even to this day, every now and then something will trigger me and I will cry for no reason.  Time does heal the pain, but as least for me, it is still always on the edge of me and can flare up, even 20 years later.  Even good memories will make me cry sometimes.  It's normal.  Just take your time to process it.  It's still so very fresh for you.  (((HUGS)))