DDlg on Tinder? What is your experience?

[Princess ♛]

I'm a Babygirl and trying tinder and have had great results. I get lots of matches. They lead from start to finish, I say very little and I stop responding to anyone who doesn't ask me out within 5-10 exchanges. They ask questions, ask me out on dates, suggest a time and place and always offer to pay. This leaves the more "in charge" type of man but they are just pining me down for a date, not being dominant once we meet. I'm meeting very kind and sweet gentlemen which is fun but none of them seem dominant so there is no attraction on my side. I have tried letting my bratty side out in the initial messages with poor results, alienating the nicer, more confident guys and the ones left are either not confident or kind.  Once we meet I sometimes tease them a bit to see how they react but mostly they don't get that I'm being bratty and playful. I was wondering if any of you are on Tinder? What type of interaction you had with your matches before meeting? Do you chase them or do they chase you?  What attracts you to a profile? Would my behaviour put you off? What can I do differently? Are there any signs of daddydom I can look out for? Where else can I find him? etc..

 

Going on dates was fun initially but it's starting to feel a bit like a job now and I don't like telling men who like me and have been so nice that it's not going to work out. I'm starting to feel like I'm wasting my time and will never find him    

 

I am strictly monogamous and looking for long term. I am afraid to match the BDSM profiles.

Edited August 6, 2019 by ♛ Princess ♛

[Guest Aetherr]

maybe tinder is not the place for you, i think its known as a casual hookup site not a place for kinks consider other bdsm focus services

[Princess ♛]

maybe tinder is not the place for you, i think its known as a casual hookup site not a place for kinks consider other bdsm focus services

 

It's not a hookup site anymore. Well, it still is, and also lots of BDSM profiles but there are lots of monogamous people looking for a serious relationship on there as well . Tinder has everything. I don't think I would enjoy a bdsm site at all. 

Edited August 6, 2019 by ♛ Princess ♛

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

Tinder is all about directness. If you don't put what you want you won't get it. You need to at least subtly signal that you're into the lifestyle. If you don't want to put that you're into ddlg try putting you're into cg/l. A lot of men don't want to seem very dominant off the bat because they are afraid they'll come off as creeps and they don't want to be instantly unmatched. I was more successful when I threw caution to the wind and stated flat out that I was looking for hookups, but in a slightly indirect way (explicit bio and pics-not nudes but still showing off physique). Can't help you with seeing people you know but I wouldn't worry about it too much unless you're a teacher and they're your students or something.

[Huggybear]

Hey!

If you want confident dominant nice men to act dominant with you, you need to tell them you are interested in dominant behaviour. None of the pure blood "gray wolves" will ever open their game with you with dominance or pinning you down as you put it. Its a very time consuming and patient process that requires tremendous level of trust above all to be actively dominant with a girl. I will often be a non-sexual gentleman even weeks before showing a real sign of dominance or will to make the girl submit - however I do speak about it VERY openly if it is me who is searching. You should do the same. Being openly into bdsm lifestyle is not a taboo anymore , and if you really want to have a safe and real D/S relationship, you will have to voice it very soon into texting - then it comes to patience and showing them they can trust you to release the inner wolf, which is not often an easy thing to do, especielly for men who genuenly care of your wellbeing.

Be more open, voice directly what you want instead of playing/hinting through brattiness etc.

Edited July 20, 2019 by Huggybear

[Princess ♛]

Hey!

 

If you want confident dominant nice men to act dominant with you, you need to tell them you are interested in dominant behaviour. None of the pure blood "gray wolves" will ever open their game with you with dominance or pinning you down as you put it. Its a very time consuming and patient process that requires tremendous level of trust above all to be actively dominant with a girl. I will often be a non-sexual gentleman even weeks before showing a real sign of dominance or will to make the girl submit - however I do speak about it VERY openly if it is me who is searching. You should do the same. Being openly into bdsm lifestyle is not a taboo anymore , and if you really want to have a safe and real D/S relationship, you will have to voice it very soon into texting - then it comes to patience and showing them they can trust you to release the inner wolf, which is not often an easy thing to do, especielly for men who genuenly care of your wellbeing.

 

Be more open, voice directly what you want instead of playing/hinting through brattiness etc.

 

 

I think my lack of experience is skewing my expectations of this type of relationship   Because I  have never done this before I probably don't actually know how it develops. I thought that naturally dominant men would be that way from the get go but I guess in our society that wouldn't go down well? I'm a bit confused. 

I hear you though. I probably need to be more direct about it but it's scary     Are you saying I should mention I like a dominant man when we chat? Like before a date/after a date? It's really not me to initiate something like this, I would much prefer for him to lead. I don't want to attract abusive men. 

Edited August 6, 2019 by ♛ Princess ♛

[Huggybear]

The ones who really practise bdsm seriously will vet you very throughly as you vet them too. I would even say men do it more when they are seriously looking for a long term bdsm relationship. If you see or hear things like "i would really like to put you on your place and do this and that" within the first moments, that is a serious red flag. Dominant men want to make sure you can be trusted to for example have courage to use a safe word, to make sure youre not in it just for the kink, to see if youre mentally able to understand and practice ssc, to learn your hard limits. I would not even verbally lay a finger on a woman before these details are met.

 

I would include in your writing, in your own words, something like "interested in power exchange" or "seeking a confident, gentle but also strict and dominant man" or "I have some submissive qualities in me". Those should raise some very approriate questions. It might attract unwanted attention but its also very easy to weed out the ones who open with stuff like "hey slut". Personally I have even written "Openly bdsm oriented" into my bio and it has worked pretty well to weed out the "not's".

[Princess ♛]

I would include in your writing, in your own words, something like "interested in power exchange" or "seeking a confident, gentle but also strict and dominant man" or "I have some submissive qualities in me". Those should raise some very approriate questions. It might attract unwanted attention but its also very easy to weed out the ones who open with stuff like "hey slut". Personally I have even written "Openly bdsm oriented" into my bio and it has worked pretty well to weed out the "not's".

 Ok, I will try to be more direct.

Edited August 8, 2019 by Princess ♛