Rewards for littles - LDR - PLEASE HELP

[Alexdander]

Hi everyone.

Summarizing, my baby boy use to have anorexia some years ago. He had been now 3 days without eating -and it means he is in danger of have anorexia again. He is to scared, and me aswell.

The thing is that I know that he would have an easier time eating if I ask him to do it and reward him until he is safe again. But we are now kn a long distance relationship and I can't buy him stickers or little presents every time I'd want. So I need some ideas of things that could be a reward for you or your little if you were on a LDR.

It would be easier if I could control if he is eating and giving him rewards like lot of hugs and kisses after every eating time or teddys or things like that, but I can't visit him. So please, give me some ideas of rewards that you would like to receive or that yout little would.

Thank you so much.

Regards.

[AnagazeKangabun]

To me a great gift would be a movie time with my caregiver uwu like watching a favorite movie or show over Rabbit, or being read to over discord! (Though Skype or phone calls work too, I just prefer discord myself >w<) I know mailing things are hard, cuz it costs money, but it's a good one to use maybe in an emergency one, in case he hasn't eaten in a few days maybe uwu I'm very sorry to hear that he's having trouble, and I hope my suggestions helped ;w; long distance relationships make things hard but you got this uwu 

[Alexdander]

To me a great gift would be a movie time with my caregiver uwu like watching a favorite movie or show over Rabbit, or being read to over discord! (Though Skype or phone calls work too, I just prefer discord myself >w<) I know mailing things are hard, cuz it costs money, but it's a good one to use maybe in an emergency one, in case he hasn't eaten in a few days maybe uwu I'm very sorry to hear that he's having trouble, and I hope my suggestions helped ;w; long distance relationships make things hard but you got this uwu

We can't use Rabbit because he had not a good WiFi service (he lives far away of the city), but I thing the story can be a great idea! He loves me to tell him stories.

On the other hand, I can't send him thing by mail because we are so far away that it takes months to arrive (I have proved it) and I think a reward have to be something more in-the-moment to be useful. I can send him money to buy himself something, but I can't send him a present (if I could, I could thing about a loooooot of rewards he would like).

Thanks a lot for the stories' idea. Thank you.

If you think about something else, please tell me.

Thank you

[GlitterMonster]

So long distance can be a challenge with rewards.

 

If you two roleplay things at all, maybe a reward can be roleplaying an activity like going to the park, or bubble baths.

 

You could also record yourself reading a story and send it to them via the interweb.

 

Maybe you can put an app on your phones like mothership or chore monster so he can track his daily tasks and earn rewards (or earn bigger rewards like gifts for later)

 

Or buy a pack of stickers and make him a sticker chart, he earns stickers for his chart and at the end he gets a bigger reward.

 

Or you could get phone apps to play games together like fun run.

[Alexdander]

So long distance can be a challenge with rewards.

 

If you two roleplay things at all, maybe a reward can be roleplaying an activity like going to the park, or bubble baths.

 

You could also record yourself reading a story and send it to them via the interweb.

 

Maybe you can put an app on your phones like mothership or chore monster so he can track his daily tasks and earn rewards (or earn bigger rewards like gifts for later)

 

Or buy a pack of stickers and make him a sticker chart, he earns stickers for his chart and at the end he gets a bigger reward.

 

Or you could get phone apps to play games together like fun run.

I have found an app that would be great if he can upload it, thank you! I will ask him when he wake up.

He doesn't like roleplay these things. I love it, but he said it makes him miss me more.

I'll record the stories or/and phone him to read them. I'll use the point system too for reward. I have these rewards now:

1. Read him a story

2. Write a fanfic for him (he loves them)

3. Send him lot of photos

4. Give him money

5. Make him a surprise (something like a handmade present, it is said a video, a drawing, or something like that)

6. Send him a sweet lovely text

If you could thought about something more, please tell me

[star-strucky]

As a little who also struggles with anorexia and is also in an LDR, I find it helpful when my daddy guides me through mealtimes and eats with me so I don't eat alone. Saying encouraging things during mealtimes also helps a lot, also reminding him that he's still your little boy no matter what he eats or what his weight is helps too. Also tell him all the things you love/like about him CONSTANTLY to get his self esteem up. And distracting him after he eats with a detailed plan on what you would do together if/when you visit might be helpful as well. 

 

Also, with eating disorders in general, loved ones tend to focus on the food (i.e., what food is being consumed, if they're skipping meals, weighing themselves, blah blah blah) While eating is obviously very important, and the eating/body image aspect of the disorder is prominent, the thing that actually FUELS the eating disorder is feelings that they have that are difficult to deal with, like anxiety, anger, loss, stress, hopelessness, abandonment, guilt, etc. As a result, the person uses food in some way to cope with those feelings. They are most likely use a preoccupation with food/weight/body image to distract themselves from what they dont want to feel. Hopefully this made sense, message me if it doesn't and I'll try to explain it better.

 

Of course, it's AMAZING that you want to support your little through this tough time he's having. These are all things that just manage his eating disorder for a short time, not really actually helping him (think gauze over a wound instead of stitches). The best thing you could do for him is to get him into treatment (getting connected to an outpatient therapist who specializes in eating disorders is the first step, and there are options depending on insurance or low cost/out of pocket ones too) if you need help with finding a therapist or a treatment center just message me!

 

This probably didn't answer your question that well, but I think it needed to be said. Best of luck <3