Looking for aid in helping my little.

[DaddyKieran]

My little bird is currently pushing her head space away in order to feel more, what she perceives as, "normal".

She has had bad experiences in the past involving her smaller self, and other caregivers, which leads to times like this, though it has never been this severe before now since we have been together.

I am at a loss on how to go about caring for my little one as she continues to push me and my attempts to help away. I can see she is struggling, and that she desperately wants to age down, but she won't let herself, and I do not know how to help her.

If anyone has any tips they would be willing to share it would be very appreciated.

[Guest Voidart]

Communicate, have a heart-to-heart. We don't know her like she knows herself. You know more about her than anyone else. 
The only piece of advice i can give you is to not push any notions unto someone else. Let them be what they feel comfortable with being. 

The great part about relationships is that we can communicate with the partner and let them know that whichever road they choose, they'll remain an important part in one's life. 
We have the power to make someone else feel less alien when given the chance to sharing an open mind. 

If I were you, i'd listen, reflect and then take actions. Your feelings matter as much as hers. Make your own feelings known during the conversation. 


Pain will ALWAYS take time to heal. No matter what kind of pain, hurt or damage the person's been inflicted. 

Feel free to let us know what's going on inside your head

[Guest bat_bite]

I absolutely agree with Voidart.

 

One of the main issues within relationships, including vanilla relationships, is communication. 

It can be hard, and painful, but sitting down together to have an involved discussion may help the both of you.

 

Something that's difficult to do - but may help you make some progress, is to allow her to blurt out whatever she is thinking, no matter how scrambled or incoherent her thoughts are. It may give you better insight to how she feels, and how you can support her. 

 

I'm only going off of what you've said, so please forgive me for making assumptions, but it sounds like she has negative associations with being in her little headspace. I think if you both took the time to allow her to re-learn what it means to be little, and how beneficial it can be for her mental health that she might begin to have positive and healthy associations with being a little. 

 

I'm sorry if my advice is unclear, or it's unhelpful. I hate to say it, but time is a wonderful healer. Maybe she needs to realise for herself what she needs in her own time. What's important is that you continue to support her, and try to communicate. 

 

I wish you both the best.

[BigNutBrownHare]

Normal... sigh...

 

Agree with others on communication.

 

Littles can be prone to harsh self-judgement, particularly when CG's make careless remarks about a Littles capabilities.  It stings them into not allowing themselves to go into their headspace. It takes a lot of courage to be in a DDLG relationship, when all the pressure is to NOT be a Little!

 

How to help. At a guess (and the least harmful) - focus on the nurturing part of being a DD, even in the normal world people want to know their SO has their back, encouragement, praise and adoring who she is. That way she can reconnect to the positives of being a Little, and allow her to ignore the previous CG's who have made her feel that "normal" is the safest place to be.

 

Best of Luck

[Nymph]

communication is great, I agree.

 

I don't know about your situation, but one thing that comes to mind is age... over the years I have known some littles who got into DDlg kind of young and simply grew out of it, some others matured and their little side changed, some regressed further, some went up in little age or some went from angels to brats etc.

 

That being said, that can also happen at any age! people change. Perhaps she is trying to find her new "normal" as in, how things feel more natural for her. She might not be pushing you away, but asking for space to figure things out. If you pressure her to go back to her old ways that might not be her anymore...

 

Just throwing the possibility out there, bad experiences not always leave you traumatized forever. If she is ready to move on I would see it as a good thing. Just be there for her.