My daddy broke up with me

[lonelylittlegirl95]

My daddy broke up with me 3 days ago. He said he realized he only sees me as a friend. His best friend. I’ve agreed to stay friends because I really don’t want him to not being in my life anymore and I’m really trying to start seeing him as just that, but it’s so hard. Until 3 days ago he would call me his and tell me how much he liked me and missed me and every time I would tell him I had concerns about his feelings for me he would reassure me, tell me he never felt this close to anyone else before. He was the only person I could talk to, the only person i could turn to whenever I was down. I told him things I’ve never told anyone else. He was the first person to tell me it was okay to like him and be vulnerable around him because he felt the same. And now he not only took it all back, but told me he can’t be the only person for me anymore, that it’s too much pressure to put on a friend. He tells me I need to find someone to fill the role of boyfriend that can talk to me all the time, and I’ve tried to do what he wants me to and talk to other people, but just the idea makes me physically ill. I can see that he’s trying to put some distance between us but I just don’t understand why. If he always saw me as a friend then isn’t fine to keep acting like we always have, minus the daddy/bf things? But he says friends don’t text or hang out as much as we do and we need to lower the intensity. I just don’t understand what I did that was so bad that he now can even bear the thought to spend some time with me. I feel like he’s not even giving me room to adjust a little to how things are gonna be now, not even a week. And I see him being totally fine while I’m not sleeping or eating and all I do is crying all the time and it’s killing me. I know he wants to move on and I’m happy he is not suffering but I can’t understand what did I do to make him despise me this much that he can’t wait to be rid of me.

I’m so lonely and all I want is a friend to be there for me, but he was the only person I could talk to and now he doesn’t wanna be there for me anymore.

[NewPrincessBrat]

I would say don't have him as your friend it only makes it that much harder for you & him.

[lonelylittlegirl95]

I would say don't have him as your friend it only makes it that much harder for you & him.

I know, but when I try to think of my life without him there at all, not even as a friend, I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s too hard for me to never hear from him again. I can’t do it.

[Little_Butterfly]

I'm sorry you are going through this. My daddy broke up with me with no explanation a week ago and it's very confusing. But you will be okay. I know it's hard to believe that, but you will look back in time and see how things change. It's very hard to stay friends with someone you feel so strongly about, at least until you both have time to heal. Let yourself go through your sadness and it will get better. We're here to help each other out, so come and say hi, and get some virtual hugs x

[lonelylittlegirl95]

I'm sorry you are going through this. My daddy broke up with me with no explanation a week ago and it's very confusing. But you will be okay. I know it's hard to believe that, but you will look back in time and see how things change. It's very hard to stay friends with someone you feel so strongly about, at least until you both have time to heal. Let yourself go through your sadness and it will get better. We're here to help each other out, so come and say hi, and get some virtual hugs x

I’m sorry that your daddy broke up with you too and I really appreciate all the support.

It’s just so hard. If he had giving me any other reason for the break up it would’ve been so much better. But like this it just feels like he destroyed more than our relationship, it feels like he destroyed all the memories we have together too. Now every time I think about the things he told me I can’t help but wonder if any of it was real. Like all the time he would tell me he liked me so much and I was his little cloud. Or all the time I would spend so long taking pics just to have the perfect one to send him so he would tell me I looked pretty or adorable or sexy. Now everything feels like a lie. Like I was just living a fantasy in my head.

And I hate that he keeps telling me to just find someone else. He makes me feel like still having feelings for him is wrong just because he doesn’t have any now, but he doesn’t understand that For me until 3 days ago he was my daddy and boyfriend. That I wasn’t expecting him to break up with me at all (through text might I add, because he refused to pick up my phone calls since it was just “too hard”) and that my world Came crashing down when he did.

[Little kaiya]

Break ups are never easy and when they feel like they are out of the blue they can definitely feel that much harder. The reality is people change for a ton of different reasons and because of that relationships end.

 

Break ups shouldn't invalidate the time you spent together or the feelings that were expressed, they were true at the time, they just arent true anymore. Also, break ups aren't necessarily about one party doing something wrong so asking yourself what you did that was bad is maybe the wrong question.

 

As for him encouraging you to find someone else, maybe he just wants you to be happy. He is right in one regard though, putting everything on one person is too much, whether that's on a friend or a significant other.

 

As for how you're feeling overall, well those are your feelings and as such are valid, just as how he is feeling are his and are equally valid. Nobody can make somebody else feel a certain way. If you choose to feel everything was a lie that's your right but it's also a choice. It might be healthier to treasure what you had than making it all feel like a lie but that's also a choice.

 

Nobody here can tell you what to do or not do but if you can't draw a line and put a bit of distance between the two of you from the relationship you had to now being friends it may be best to set up some physical distance at least in the short term so you can adjust.

 

Just remember, break ups will happen but if you love yourself for who you are you will get through them and life will go on.

 

Little kaiya

Edited July 15, 2019 by Little kaiya

[Guest AlexaKim]

Hey. I get how you are feeling. Don't worry. Just give yourself time to get used to him not being there. It will do you good. The thing is, it gets better trust me. Be strong love and you will see how things will turnout okay

[Metalheaddaddy]

It is very possible for exes to remain friends but you need time to heal and recover. You need space. You two should not be this close this early.

[lonelylittlegirl95]

Hey. I get how you are feeling. Don't worry. Just give yourself time to get used to him not being there. It will do you good. The thing is, it gets better trust me. Be strong love and you will see how things will turnout okay

Thank you. I really hope so

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

[Guest littlebabyslittlespace]

Honestly I'd say just leave him to it. If he doesn't have those feelings then nothing can be done but if you still do then maybe friendship isn't what you need right now. You say he hasn't given you time to adjust but tbh he doesn't have to, it's better for both of you for him to leave if there are no feelings

[Trintiger]

I agree with the comments that state that some space is needed. It's how I got over my breakup with my Little as well. I took some time for myself, took a hobby, looked for people and communities to talk with while not necessarily needing to share everything that has happened. 

They moved on pretty quickly, which made me need even more space than I would usually need. The length of the break is depending on both parties, so I really do suggest to try and find something that can occupy yourself. You can get through this. Time heals even if some scars remain, but you'll be okay. Priority is also looking after yourself too.

[kitten!!]

i know im being late to this, but weewoo

i really really know how you feel when you say you don't want to leave him, but i think it's better for you.

you sound broken, and it is not healthy for you to be near him, especially when he's telling you things like

"we need to tone it down". i don't think he knows how much this hurts you, and if he does know but he's 

not doing anything to help you definitely need to take some time for yourself. i'm not saying completely

throw him out of your life, but just take a few days to take care of yourself

 

virtual hugs sweetheart 

[Guest brattynsweet]

I am really sorry about what happened. You don't deserve to be treated that way, and it makes me angry that he is being mean to you. Stay strong. Remember that you are a wonderful person and you deserve better. I'd hate it if someone broke up with me with no explanation. You seem sweet. You did nothing wrong. He is just being a butt!

 

I'm sorry.

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

I am really sorry about what happened. You don't deserve to be treated that way, and it makes me angry that he is being mean to you. Stay strong. Remember that you are a wonderful person and you deserve better. I'd hate it if someone broke up with me with no explanation. You seem sweet. You did nothing wrong. He is just being a butt!

 

I'm sorry.

He's not being mean. He simply wants to be just friends. You can't force feelings that aren't there no matter how shitty it feels to be the other person (and I do know how that feels). I still suggest breaking off contact for a while. That is clearly what he wants and you must respect that, OP. After a while you'll realize you don't need him as more than a regular friend