Best way to get back into DDLG

[Papa O'Toirneach 2]

I'm a fairly young Daddy, I'm only 22, and the majority of my relationships to this point have been heavily vanilla but for some fairly positive forays into DDLG between the ages of 16 and 19. From 19, however, I was in a long term vanilla relationship and its really screwed with how i view myself. It wasn't very happy, honestly it was kind of toxic. Not only could I not be dominant without my s/o being weirded out, when I tried to be my daddy self I was shot down again and again, its really bruised my confidence, but throughout the relationship- as is often the case, I've felt, and maybe it's just the daddy in me, the caregiver trying to take some responsibility- I was constantly finding excuses to stay with them. When it reached the point that I couldn't even do that myself anymore, it became clear to me exactly what was happening, emotional blackmail to stay in a ship where neither of us was really right for one another and we both knew it but they couldnt let me go and i was too scared at that point, i was so stressed with work and life that i was convinced i wouldnt find anybody I could truly be myself with.

 

Luckily, I'm now single and looking to make my way back into DDLG properly, but feel like I can't really embrace that side of myself properly anymore. To be perfectly honest, I feel like i betrayed myself for what was nearly 3 very long years, belittling and second guessing myself because of what other people told me.

 

I'm just looking to see if anyone else- little or caregiver- has had similar experiences in their lives, I know lots of us grow up thinking we're weird for this particular side of ourselves, some people to the point they NEVER come to terms with it. But i've never felt this out of balance with myself, and just wondered if anyone knows a good way to get past it? Time heals, as does patience and self-respect, but in this instance i could just really use somebody to talk to, ya know?

 

Honestly, if you reached this part and weren't bored by my author's tirade above, thank you and I truly hope you all are doing well.

 

Love and balance to all, Slainte,

 

R

[CheshireNitemare]

Just be yourself! It’s the simplest and easiest advice. Go easy on yourself and realize that we are human we make mistakes (a lot!) we do a ton of stuff we shouldn’t. We also seem to have the amazing ability of hurting people we don’t mean to.

 

As cliche as this sounds you’ll find a little that will help you recover your confidence in your daddy side. You’ll just have to be honest and patient. She will need to be understanding and patient. As for getting back into the lifestyle I’d say you already took the first step of being on here and talking to people. Just keep talking small steps and you’ll get to where you want to be.

 

I was definitely not bored with this though it did make me sad and I just want to give you a big hug! I do kind of understand the feeling out of balance with your self. I have felt that before though not for the same reason. I’m still not completely sure I’m on steady ground but maybe I’ll get there someday. You’ll get there someday too.

 

Also I’m always free to talk!!!!

Edited July 14, 2019 by CheshireNitemare

[Kaylakenzie]

I went through this very recently..at some point I ended up feeling like I couldn't be myself and lost. I'm still struggling with knowing it's okay to be a little and reassuring myself on my own has made it really hard to try to get back to finding me.

I'm really sorry you went through this and I hope you find your balance.

[Guest Sassy.Little.Princess17]

I'm so sorry you went through that! I'm still trying to discover my little side myself, but I have a Daddy/boyfriend that is very understanding. I find it hard to accept that side of me still, but I'm slowly but surely finding it easier to be a little.  I'm always open for talking if you need it. Feel free to send me a friend request.

[Guest smitten]

deleted

Edited July 30, 2019 by smitten

[Strawberryalmondmilk]

I’m sorry you’ve had to suppress yourself for so long! Just talking to people in the community has helped me a lot with acceptance so I’m glad you are reaching out. Self-acceptance is a journey especially when someone doesn’t want to accept that part of you either. It’s been said but baby steps are key and if you want anyone to chat too I would love to make another friend.

[daddySteve314]

I havent been in daddy mode for over a year my last little announced she had a boyfriend and the just vanished i was heartbroken and vowed never to do this again....but i year has passed and im started to miss the fun of caregiving ...im not sure i want to dive head first back in just need some one to talk too and build up my confidance again