Trying to find ways to be discreet about being a girl when I have a boys body

[Guest Gender-fluid-baby]

Hey I'm gender fluid but I've always been more feminine than I have masculine. I'm trying to find ideas on how to be discreet with what I wear and use to help me be more comfortable with my girly side. I live in a house that would kick me out if they knew and the people I work with would be extremely rude and mean! I'm struggling to think of anything I can do to feel girly more often. Please leave suggestions!!!

[Sean]

     It sounds like you have gender dysphoria; you identify with being a girl more than a boy, and of all the stories I have read about it, it can be rough. especially if you don't have anyone you know who would understand, or be understanding. you may need to look for sites for other people that have this dysphoria for guidance. there are also topics on YouTube about children who are growing up the wrong gender you can watch, about what they are facing with their parents.it is actually quite interesting. and at my current age, I wondered what it would have been like if I had gender dysphoria when I was a child (but I do know what the outcome of that would have been!). in fact, it was because I learned the term gender dysphoria, that by curiosity I looked up age dysphoria, which I have and led me to this site! 

    One of the most common misconceptions about gender dysphoria= transgender people, is that they (most people) think it is related to homosexuality. it is not! it is something else entirely! not related at all! a homosexual person is a person attracted to a person of the same sex and they are comfortable with their gender. a transgender person is someone who is not comfortable with the body they were born with, and knows they should have been born the opposite sex. and when that person comes to that realization, it can happen at any age.

     I personally think for a person born the wrong sex, it is better if they know that they are the wrong sex the younger they are, rather than late in life, when it is even harder to deal with. I would urge you to seek out sites for that for guidance and strength, and most importantly, be who you are, and never be ashamed of that. even if it drives you from everyone you know and love (easy for me to say, I know), because they can't accept that part of you. they want you the way they want you, which is not your life. your life is yours, only you can live it.

     and personally, if you want to wear such things as skirts in public while being a boy, there are many sites that sell reasonably priced kilts for men, as traditional Scottish (that have many neutral  tartans and you don't have to be of Scottish descent to wear), or modern utility kilts made of cotton and come in solid colors, and even camo colors. I wear them all the time, as it is the only thing comfortable for me to wear any more, and I of course encourage anyone to wear just because they want to! Here in Texas, you would not believe how many men see me and get jealous, that they never thought of it to be more comfortable in, especially during summer, which is most of the year!

hope this helps at least a little for you, and if you need an ear, I'm here, and I'll hear!

[Little kaiya]

Hey I'm gender fluid but I've always been more feminine than I have masculine. I'm trying to find ideas on how to be discreet with what I wear and use to help me be more comfortable with my girly side. I live in a house that would kick me out if they knew and the people I work with would be extremely rude and mean! I'm struggling to think of anything I can do to feel girly more often. Please leave suggestions!!!

Hi there, I'm genderfluid myself but am a bit luckier I guess in that I'm 100% openly genderfluid. I'm in the process of legally changing my name to reflect both of my genders but I already use both names in my private and professional lives. I actually just had a meeting with my Durector General and he and my team at work are all super supportive.

 

I know some genderfluid people consciously select their gender and expression based on the situation while others, myself included, switch without conscious choice which can make gender expression more challenging.

 

Personally I always have my makeup kit with me and I have clothing that is more masculine, feminine and neutral. Some things I find that help me feel more feminine are mascara (brown) it opens the eyes but isnt as dramatic ir noticeable as black, more feminine underwear, more delicate jewelry choices like chains and necklaces, fingernail polish (it's becoming more gender neutral these days), and sun hats. A lot of the other things I wear when I'm female probably wouldn't work for you based on what you've described. I also have sundresses, cute little cardigans, skirts, tank tops, flats (easier to walk in than heels), etc.

 

If you'd care to chat more about things feel free to drop my Daddy and I a friend request/message.

 

Little kaiya

Edited July 11, 2019 by Little kaiya

[Guest Gender-fluid-baby]

Hi there, I'm genderfluid myself but am a bit luckier I guess in that I'm 100% openly genderfluid. I'm in the process of legally changing my name to reflect both of my genders but I already use both names in my private and professional lives. I actually just had a meeting with my Durector General and he and my team at work are all super supportive.

I know some genderfluid people consciously select their gender and expression based on the situation while others, myself included, switch without conscious choice which can make gender expression more challenging.

Personally I always have my makeup kit with me and I have clothing that is more masculine, feminine and neutral. Some things I find that help me feel more feminine are mascara (brown) it opens the eyes but isnt as dramatic ir noticeable as black, more feminine underwear, more delicate jewelry choices like chains and necklaces, fingernail polish (it's becoming more gender neutral these days), and sun hats. A lot of the other things I wear when I'm female probably wouldn't work for you based on what you've described. I also have sundresses, cute little cardigans, skirts, tank tops, flats (easier to walk in than heels), etc.

If you'd care to chat more about things feel free to drop my Daddy and I a friend request/message.

Little kaiya

I appreciate what you said. And it is very hard some days because I don't have control over when I switch. I have been debating talking to my Dr about what I can do. And I will definitely try your suggestions. Add me as a friend so we can talk more!

[MysticSand]

Hmm this sounds like a pickle. I have zero experience but may have a few possible suggestions? Try at your own discretion of course.

 

Wearing bright colors in subtle ways. (ie: pairing with dark pants or workout clothes that are usually brightly colored especially for nightwear)

Wearing nail polish on toes (clear, even! It could even just be the "nail strengthener" one and the process would be fun).

Growing hair out long?

Wearing plain cut women's t-shirts? (Usually just the cut is different or the neckline, some styles don't have very noticeable differences between mens and womens.)

Toe socks? Not sure if black on the outside but rainbow on the inside is a thing, but could be worthwhile to look in to.

Jewelry! Such as hemp bracelets or shark tooth things. (Can you tell I don't know too much on this?) These are pretty gender neutral but having an accessory could help.

[Guest Gender-fluid-baby]

Hmm this sounds like a pickle. I have zero experience but may have a few possible suggestions? Try at your own discretion of course.

 

Wearing bright colors in subtle ways. (ie: pairing with dark pants or workout clothes that are usually brightly colored especially for nightwear)

Wearing nail polish on toes (clear, even! It could even just be the "nail strengthener" one and the process would be fun).

Growing hair out long?

Wearing plain cut women's t-shirts? (Usually just the cut is different or the neckline, some styles don't have very noticeable differences between mens and womens.)

Toe socks? Not sure if black on the outside but rainbow on the inside is a thing, but could be worthwhile to look in to.

Jewelry! Such as hemp bracelets or shark tooth things. (Can you tell I don't know too much on this?) These are pretty gender neutral but having an accessory could help.

Thanks for the suggestions! I really appreciate the support from everyone on this website!

[ForeverFluffy]

Oh! Allow me to help! Genderfluid weirdo extraordinaire here. Here are some tips to help you feel girly:

Wear unisex, light colored clothing such as rompers, tees, and shoes. If you're unable to do that, wear men's clothing with floral prints.

Decorate things in stickers

Wear jewelry

Use Lip Smackers lip balm. You may not be able to currently use lipstick, but using a lip balm in a sweet flavor may help you feel girly. I find that when I'm feeling masc, I prefer minty lip balms. When I feel femme, I like fruity or sweet lips balms.

Have a galaxy print phone case.

Wear cute pins! I suggest cute anime or animal pins

And finally, use more "feminine" body care products.

 

Hope this helps!

[Guest Gender-fluid-baby]

Oh! Allow me to help! Genderfluid weirdo extraordinaire here. Here are some tips to help you feel girly:

Wear unisex, light colored clothing such as rompers, tees, and shoes. If you're unable to do that, wear men's clothing with floral prints.

Decorate things in stickers

Wear jewelry

Use Lip Smackers lip balm. You may not be able to currently use lipstick, but using a lip balm in a sweet flavor may help you feel girly. I find that when I'm feeling masc, I prefer minty lip balms. When I feel femme, I like fruity or sweet lips balms.

Have a galaxy print phone case.

Wear cute pins! I suggest cute anime or animal pins

And finally, use more "feminine" body care products.

Hope this helps!

Thanks. Add me as a friend and message me and ill ask some of the questions I have and maybe explain more

[zanderandspike]

oh, one thing I do, is walk in a more feminine way, usually just at home, or do a cat walk sort of thing where I dress up alone

 

One thing you could do in public is use bag, but put it over one shoulder so it feel more like a purse

 

most of what I do has already been mentioned, just adding that really, good luck and if you ever need to talk(I know most have said this) I'm here

[Guest Gender-fluid-baby]

oh, one thing I do, is walk in a more feminine way, usually just at home, or do a cat walk sort of thing where I dress up alone

 

One thing you could do in public is use bag, but put it over one shoulder so it feel more like a purse

 

most of what I do has already been mentioned, just adding that really, good luck and if you ever need to talk(I know most have said this) I'm here

Thankies!!!!

[Breakingrules]

I'm a boring cis girl but you mentioned that you wear girly underwear so stand in front of the mirror in the morning and just look at how great you look in that underwear! Wear them a bit high so your hips will come out great, hand on your hip and be proud!

(And maybe a sports bra? If you're confident in that?)

 

But standing in front of the mirror like that makes me feel more confident during the day!

[Guest Gender-fluid-baby]

Thankies breakingrules!