Rules about communication with previous Daddy(s) / Little(s)?

[AWarmSafeSpace]

What are your thoughts on the rules about communication with previous Daddies and Littles?
At first i wanted a rule that was no communication with previous ones. especially ones that ended badly.
But they forgave them and moved on. Now that we are together i see them make small talk in a chat room.

I wanted no communication at all. (everybody else was fine) just the ones in the specific role.

What do think? overbearing or unrealistic?

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

If it makes you uncomfortable voice your discomfort and expect your partner to respect it. Small talk in a chat room isn't really a big deal though

[Daddys-A-Hero]

If they were sending primate messages, knowing that it bothers you and you've asked them not to, that is flat out wrong. But the fact they coincidentally are sometimes in the same public chatroom and being polite (and not hiding the messages) is a little harder - I'm sure there aren't that many DDLG chatrooms online, so its likely people who've been in the scene for a while will bump into each other. If its really upsetting you though, its a valid emotion, explain to your partner how  you feel and maybe ask them if they'd mind avoiding these chatrooms when you're not there? What is a big deal to one person can seem completely unimportant to another so its important to calmly and clearly explain what you're feeling and why.

[AWarmSafeSpace]

It is the small talk. it's not a ddlg chat. I agree that would be different. We are in unrelated (ddlg) group things.
I specifically said no communication with this person. but they did small talk. she didn't think chat room small talk was considered communication.
I left it as... you do what you want, it won't be a rule. just know it upsets me a great deal, and to its disrespectful. but they very well be just me and it very well could be unrealistic. If you choose to talk to them still, ill just deal with it.

Id like it to be a rule though. but i also don't want create an environment of resent or just force them to lie. So thats why i said do as you please and Ill deal with it.

I guess my question comes down to... is this unreasonable?

I am very possessive and this is a big turn on to them, 99% of the time it seems.

And i wasn't snooping, i don't do that, I hate that, i don't want that in a relationship, Trust all the way.
I just happen to be in chat group (and rarely am) and saw it.

The aspect to this as that he has asked twice in the last 2 months to be daddy again and she says no, but not firmly... (not firm part is how she is with everyone and isn't specific to him, but because of this... he will always feel like the door is cracked open for an opportunity)

She can talk to whomever else she wants, can be chatty and flirty... that's how she is. i am not asking her to change.

 

I think part me really wants her to make that decision on her own. But we just see things differently. 
On my side, i don't talk to any previous subs as i see it as disrespectful. 
I say sub because they were subs not little/middle. I have always been DaddyDom though, I just didn't know it. 

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

I think you should honestly tell this dude yourself to f off, he is obviously not respecting your sub saying no or your position as her Daddy

[Daddys-A-Hero]

No, I don't think you are being unrealistic, your feelings are valid and you should never need to apologize for them. As you have been very clear about your preferences and wishes and that its upsetting up, it seems disrespectful and uncaring of them to disregard this. Maybe they didn't understand quite how serious you were. But if they do, and just don't care, then that is a problem, and you are right to be upset. I wish you the best and hope it works out for you! 

[AWarmSafeSpace]

I'm not going to do that. but i will go about it differently. thx

[LittleCelticLass]

As a little, who is friends with two of my exes, if there was a rule put in place that I could not communicate with them at all not even in a public chat, I would say no. I don't think that being polite and having small talk in a chat room counts as communication in the sense the year thinking it does. And I think it's unreasonable to expect someone to leave the chat room where they may be having a conversation, just because someone else comes in.

If nothing untoward is going on, no private communication is happening, then I don't think you really have anything to worry about. To me it sounds like two people just being polite to one another in a public setting.

Just my two cents.

Edited July 10, 2019 by LittleCelticLass

[AWarmSafeSpace]

We ended up with...
She can do whatever she likes in the the public chat.
If it leads to him sending a private message, she'll let him know she has a Daddy and to keep things in public chat.
If he doesn't respect that, then she won't respond to him at all.
I never suggested she leave chat or anything. I don't want to her to stop being her or limit her friends and all... I just didn't like her chatting with him... but, yes, i agree is a little much. and i am well aware of my over protectiveness and selfishness. This is why i brought it up here... as kind of a self check. If you are wondering... she did not get into any trouble at all, in fact she was rewarded for handling it all so well and being honest with me about how she felt (which is along the lines here) Daddies are human and make mistakes on occasion. :/

thank you everyone. 

[Daddys-A-Hero]

Sounds like a happy resolution. I'm glad things worked out and you both were mature and honest about it. Always the way forward to explain your feelings!