Daddys-A-Hero Posted July 9, 2019 Report Posted July 9, 2019 Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this, and feeling like this. You deserve to be happy. Secondly, your feelings are valid, and it sounds like you haven't done anything wrong, and you are trying to be an honourable, loyal friend. I read all your post and it really rings true to me, I can relate on so many levels. I am clearly a lot older than you, but I have fairly recently gone through the breakdown of a long term marriage. For 4 years she basically told me she wanted to separate and just be friends, but I figured "for better for worse, til death do us part" and I just moved into a separate bedroom, but stayed faithful to her and tried to be the best most supportive friend I could to her, and harboured the feeling that she probably still loved me anyway and was just confused and needed time and space and would eventually come around. Took four years to find out I was wasting my time and just making things harder for both of us. It wasn't what she wanted or needed and it was very emotionally damaging to me, and in reality both of us would have been better off had I just left - still on good terms, still being friendly, but not in each others lives every day. I'm not saying that my story has any relevance to yours. I don't know you, or her. But what I do know, is that around the age you seem to be from your post, relationships are like candles which burn incredibly hot, and incredibly bright, but also burn out pretty fast. I promise that in a years time, what seems to be the most important thing in the world to you right now, will seem trivial and quaint, and you will have some fond nostalgia for how important it felt to you back then. I don't say that to patronize you or to try and minimize how you're feeling - just to let you know that if it is over, you are gonna be okay, and so is she, and you'll always have the happy memories, but both will have learned and moved on to better things. I hope that makes sense and helps a little.
O21 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Report Posted July 9, 2019 Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this, and feeling like this. You deserve to be happy. Secondly, your feelings are valid, and it sounds like you haven't done anything wrong, and you are trying to be an honourable, loyal friend. I read all your post and it really rings true to me, I can relate on so many levels. I am clearly a lot older than you, but I have fairly recently gone through the breakdown of a long term marriage. For 4 years she basically told me she wanted to separate and just be friends, but I figured "for better for worse, til death do us part" and I just moved into a separate bedroom, but stayed faithful to her and tried to be the best most supportive friend I could to her, and harboured the feeling that she probably still loved me anyway and was just confused and needed time and space and would eventually come around. Took four years to find out I was wasting my time and just making things harder for both of us. It wasn't what she wanted or needed and it was very emotionally damaging to me, and in reality both of us would have been better off had I just left - still on good terms, still being friendly, but not in each others lives every day. I'm not saying that my story has any relevance to yours. I don't know you, or her. But what I do know, is that around the age you seem to be from your post, relationships are like candles which burn incredibly hot, and incredibly bright, but also burn out pretty fast. I promise that in a years time, what seems to be the most important thing in the world to you right now, will seem trivial and quaint, and you will have some fond nostalgia for how important it felt to you back then. I don't say that to patronize you or to try and minimize how you're feeling - just to let you know that if it is over, you are gonna be okay, and so is she, and you'll always have the happy memories, but both will have learned and moved on to better things. I hope that makes sense and helps a little. Thanks for replying, it really means a lot to me. I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that, Life's pretty scary looking at it, everything's so fragile and moves so quick. It might not sound like much but even you just bothering to reply means so much and your words really hit me.
Guest Blueblinky Posted July 9, 2019 Report Posted July 9, 2019 I agree with what hero said. Like im 28 and ive been married and divorced amd honestly if shes going to be like that you dodged a bullet. A big one. Now you gotta rip the band aid off before things go too far and she might end up pregnant cuase then you got a kid for life even if it doesnt work out. She has no Right to ask for Daddy things when shes rhe one not into you being her daddy. Thats selfish and cruel of her whether she realizes it or nit. You did what you needed to do to keep her in the loop and it wasnt good enough for her. Let her go she lost you. I dont mean to sound mean but honey ive done rhis with people before and im the one who always ends up crying for caring. I dont wish it on anybody.
Daddys-A-Hero Posted July 9, 2019 Report Posted July 9, 2019 (edited) Edited July 9, 2019 by Daddys-A-Hero
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