Coping with social anxiety without your CG?

[FawnKitten]

Hello, I was wondering if anybody had any tips on dealing with anxiety issues when their caregiver isn't around.

 

I have only been able to go out by myself twice in the last year or so, and even if I'm with other people, I still feel really uncomfortable if my man isn't with me.

 

It's been so long since I've felt normal in terms of my anxiety that I cant picture ever getting better and just wondered if anybody had any tips on how to calm yourself down without your daddy or cg around, because I would really like to just be able to walk to the shop or to meet a friend.

 

 

[LittleAki]

Do you have a small stuffie that could be placed in a purse or shoulder bag?

 

I lived for four years with agoraphobia and that's how I started being able to actually leave my house without my Daddy.

 

Really, it comes down to having something physical that can ground you back into the moment instead of chasing the rabbit down the hole of what-ifs. Also, don't make big goals to start out with, you'll just end up discouraged. Make it a goal to reach the mailbox and back without a panic attack. Then make the next goal getting 5 feet further. Small steps, small victories, and not being upset if you have a setback one day.

 

Oh, and write this down somewhere you can see it daily: "It will get better." I honestly would have thought someone was off their rocker if 7 years ago they would have told me that my job today would be driving places and talking to different people each week.

[FawnKitten]

Ill try putting something in my bag, that seems like a nice idea.

I cant imagine having a job again but its really nice to hear you felt the same way and overcame it.

 

Thank you for the tips, i will definitely keep them in mind x

[LittleAki]

That'si what I started with, and to this day there is usually a small stuffie shoved somewhere on my work truck, lol.

 

I think the first one I used was a small little purple rabbit that had HUGE eyes.

 

Another time I actually shoved small stuffies all around my work truck. The customers loved it, and it helped lift me out a depressive streak I was in.

[Vlad ziva's Owner]

LittleAki has some very good points. I do something similar. I carry around a guitar pick (or several) in my wallet that I can pull out and fidget with when I am anxious. I also keep my medication for my IBS with me at all times since a lot of my anxiety is related to intestinal issues. Both of those help a fair bit.

[StrawberryRaven]

I carry around really small toys in my pocket, along with my Harley Quinn lace collar. Its just a simple reminder that I'm OK and everything is fine. 

[tamsinkitten]

I also have social anxiety and having my Daddy with me does help me a lot!

I rely on him in a lot of situations and then it is really harder when I'm without him. I often tend to avoid going out alone unless I have something specific to do that is relatively important. 

Personally, I find that having headphones and listening to music or radio broadcasts can sometimes help me. It helps me to think a little about something else and focus less on the people around me.

I also asked my Daddy to record himself reading me stories. So I can listen to his voice even if he's not with me. It reassures me and comforts me a bit. 

When I can I also try to talk with him, friends or family on the phone, so even if I'm alone outside, I feel a little like there is someone with me.

I also agree with people who suggested having a reassuring item with you. I personally touch my engagement ring or/and the tag on my collar when I'm anxious and it usually helps me feel a little better cause it makes me think of my Daddy.

Of course, all of these are not always very efficient and sometimes it can't really prevent me from getting really anxious or having panic attacks ,but sometimes it does help a little

[FawnKitten]

Thats a really good idea recording his voice, i think im hoing to have to try that thank you.

 

I know how you feel, whenever he goes home i suddenly just feel a lot less safe and simple tasks like walking downstairs become daunting. I really like that though, i'll have to find something for him to read, thank you.

[PocketPrincess]

Someone like me! *hugs* 

 

I´ve got depression and anxiety issues... After 2 years and a half of relationship with my daddy I´m now able to wait for the bus alone. How? Singing! I sing any happy song that comes to my mind in that moment (even if I´m alone or with more people around). I even work singing or listening to music. 

If you have something they gave you wear it and touch it when you feel nervous. It will make it all better <3

[Daddys__kitten]

Hi sweetie!

I don't have social anxiety myself, but a friend of mine have had it for many years. A couple of months ago he started EMDR therapy and it has helped him tremendously! He is relaxed and confident in social situations in a way he has never been before. Good luck hun ♡♡♡

[FawnKitten]

Thank you lovelies, these are all really good tips and its nice not to feel so alone, none of my friends in real life have anxiety like this and I start to feel really silly needing someone with me all the time, so thank you for sharing <3

[Daddys__kitten]

Also check if you have any foodallergies, SIBO etc. An irritated gut will send signals to to the same center in the brain that processes anxiety, and will make you experience situations more stressing then they really are.

I've had anxiety (generall), depression and suicide toughts every day for 20 years. Been through a lot of therapy and different meds, nothing helped. Turned out that Im celiac and my body is shitty at processing carbs. I now eat mostly meat and a lots of fat (no candy, booo) and my mind is finally at peace. Anxiety, depression and suicide thoughts are all gone. I never thought life could be this easy or that I could be this happy.

You are in no way silly, never think that about yourself ♡ thats a problem here that needs fixing, thats all!

[Daddys__kitten]

If you want to read moore about the gut-brain axis I can highly recommend the book Gut by Giulia Enders! It's not just that it is an interesting book, she is also really funny! (Who would have thought that about a book about the gut)