How to get over a relationship ending

[Littlegirlandmiles]

Hi guys.

 

I’m looking for help. I know I could just google “how to get over a breakup” but all it would show me is vanilla/traditional relationship advice. It’s not the same and you all know that.

 

My 4 year (on and off) long “relationship” with my dom/daddy recently ended about a month ago. Out of nowhere. And it crushed me. I know we will never see each other again unless it’s in passing (we live in the same city about 5 miles apart). But I know we will never be anything ever again. And I still cry almost every day. Like sob. Because I know I will probably NEVER have what I had with him ever again. I don’t even want to pursue another d/s or dd/lg relationship again because he is the only dom I have ever been with. He taught me everything. So much about myself. He helped and watched w grow and blossom. And now I’m in a dark dark place. Everything was ripped away from me. And I STILL HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR HIM THAN ANY OTHER BEING IN THIS WORLD. this is the hardest part. I wish I could hate him. But I could never. He has given me so much and we have been through so much together. Growing and learning each other.

 

We no longer follow each other on Instagram. But I am not blocked and neither is he. Which is killing me. Because I find myself searching his name every so often and then I see his posts and I just break down every time. I don’t want to block him because I know he is checking my profile as well. Keeping an eye on me from a distance. And I like that. I like that he is still watching me. It makes me feel safe. But is this toxic? I think deep down I know it is. I know I need to block his profile and let him go. But I can’t. It’s so hard. I don’t want to. And even if I did, I know I could just unblock him whenever I wanted. And I would. So what’s the point. Right now I am not strong enough to fight the urge to check on him. I’m alone and broken and have no guidance. I don’t know what to do.

 

Please help with any suggestions you have. I know this is going to take a long time. We have “broken up” many times before but this time is the hardest. It was so deep. An amazing, unique, Indescribable connection. And now it’s all gone. I just don’t know what to do. I’m so lost.

[NJDD]

I’m older than you (I’m actually older than most people On Earth it seems) and I don’t think there’s anyone out there that’s opened their hearts to someone else and not had this happen at least once. I’ve been through it more than one time. I wish I had some magic advice, down formula to follow but it always comes down to time. Time heals all wounds, Time is a gentleman. Not saying it will take away all the feelings or memories but it does eventually make things bearable and livable and you’re able to see things with fresh eyes and a fresh perspective again.

 

A lot of times things that I thought were the most AWFUL thing to happen in my life turned out later to be for the best. At your age you might not see that now. But maybe in 5 or 10 years you will look back on this and understand that you were actually being protected it looked after - by God, the Universe, guardian angel whatever you want to say. Karma. Etc.

 

The hurt is so fresh and near right now. Accept it for what it is. Pain is a part of life. Do things that make you feel good about yourself and try to keep busy. Try something new. The best thing you can do is be happy with who you are and understand that you can’t control other people and their decisions. Try not to have any animosity and it sounds like you already aren’t so that’s great. No point in carrying around anger or hate, it only hurts yourself. Take a deep breath and know you’ll be okay, know that this is something you have to work through and it’s going to take time to heal. But you will. And one

Day you will surprise yourself and move on to another relationship. It sounds like you have a big heart and lots of emotion and while sometimes that can make life hard, it’s also what makes your life worth living.

[Daddys-A-Hero]

Just dropping in to say I completely, fully, 100% know what you are feeling and it really resonates with me. Actually hit me pretty hard. I'm so sorry you're feeling this. Things do get better and easier over time, but that's not to invalidate how how are feeling in the present.

 

What NJDD wrote above is perfect advice and worded far more perfectly than I could!

 

I hope you start to feel better as soon as is right for you. You seem like a really lovely person who deserves happiness

[Guest 63yoFeel13]

Dear little one,

 

I am feeling so sorry for you!  The same thing happened to me six years ago.  It hurts so much, doesn't it!?!  I thought I would never get over it.  It took me about three years to finally stop crying when I thought of my ex-DD.  I still love him and I forgive him.  If I was young like you, I would look for a new DD now, but no one wants an "old lady" like me   .  At least you are still young and desirable.

 

Here is my advice:

 

Do you believe in God/Jesus/Holy Spirit?  If so, please read your Bible and pray at least once each day for healing, understanding, and personal growth.

 

Stop reading his posts and do not frequent the places you two used to hang out together.  Do not google him.  Try to remove him from your life.  That's what he wants, so don't waste anymore of your time or feelings on him.  "Give the gift of absence to those who do not appreciate your presence."

 

Some people do not understand or care about the bond they have made.  I find it really hard to believe, because I am so loyal.  That's what hurts the most.

 

Take a nice bubble bath.

 

Get a manicure and pedicure.

 

Take a walk in nature.

 

Explore your feelings.  Do not stifle them.

 

Examine yourself.  What, if anything, you did wrong in the relationship.  Any changes you will make if you ever have another one.

 

After a while, try to stop even thinking about him.  As soon as you realize you are, try to switch your thoughts to things that make you happy, like sunshine and flowers and bunnies and kitties and puppies and cotton candy and stuffies and oranges and things like that.

 

Both NJDD and Daddys-a-Hero said it right.  Time does heal.  One day, you will realize you didn't even think about him for a day or two.  That's when you will have recovered.

 

God Bless you sweetie.

[Daddys-A-Hero]

If I was young like you, I would look for a new DD now, but no one wants an "old lady" like me   .

 

Your advice was good and your message was lovely, but this part made me very sad for you. Don't tell yourself that, its simply not true. For most, DDlg is not about biological age in real life, but being young at heart and enjoying child-like things. From your post you sound wonderful, and full of love. I know you'll make someone very happy, and hopefully they will do so for you too. 

[Guest 63yoFeel13]

Your advice was good and your message was lovely, but this part made me very sad for you. Don't tell yourself that, its simply not true. For most, DDlg is not about biological age in real life, but being young at heart and enjoying child-like things. From your post you sound wonderful, and full of love. I know you'll make someone very happy, and hopefully they will do so for you too. 

 

You are so right!  See, that's why I need a firm hand and direction, to speak positively about myself.  Thank you for reminding me, Sir.

[Daddys-A-Hero]

You are so right!  See, that's why I need a firm hand and direction, to speak positively about myself.  Thank you for reminding me, Sir.

Aww, hehe 

[Guest Daddy-Tom]

Trust me OP, remove all traces of your ex from your life. Otherwise fleeting glimpses will poison you with false hope and hinder you from moving on. I'm guilty of this all the time. Erase your ex's presence from your social media, your phone, everywhere possible