Getting attached too quickly

[cuddle_bunny]

Just would like some opinions from other littles or even Daddies/Mommies. I find that when I'm chatting to someone, whether there's a possibility of a dynamic forming or not, my little side gets attached. I find myself wanting their attention and constantly wanting to talk to them and it frustrates me because I feel that I come across as needy and clingy and desperate. I've never had a daddy, at least a real one. Just a few fakes. Are there any other littles that experience the same problem and how did you overcome it? Is it something that pushes daddies away?

[KingHarlus]

I dont think anyone who you've been speaking to for a significant length of time would push you away, unless you're being overbearing. (IE, a message every minute asking why he/she won't respond or spamming them with calls to make them look at their phone) 

 

I cant speak for littles, but as I said previously so long as it isnt overbearing I dont see it as an issue. 

[Alaskan Daddy]

Hi

I feel what you are going through is very common even for daddies. As a daddy I usually don't mind it. I try to see every little as an individual and each of them might have there own set of characteristics that make them unique as a little. I feel like this is something that bothers you. As a daddy when I have felt myself feeling clingy I would ask the little is that is how they are feeling also. I would always ask them to very honest  with their answer. When you get those 'clingy feelings' as you are chatting with a caregiver you might ask them is they feel you are getting too clingy. You cannot help who you are as a person. Your feelings are your feelings, I feel the most important  thing is be aware of those feelings when you get them and do the best you can not to be upset if the caregiver doesn't share them back with you. I hope this helps I hope you find the right caregiver who will embrace you for who you are inside your heart.

[cuddle_bunny]

Thank you so much for your replies. I hope I'm not overbearing but I will definitely start with asking the other person when those feelings surface

[Guest Looby-Lou]

There's a lot of threads about being clingy, you might want to read them.

At a guess I'd say more than 75% of us littles worry about being too clingy and needy, so don't give yourself a hard time about that.

Desperate? We all feel like that sometimes, it's normal if you do. Just don't get panicked about it, it will pass.

The point is to find someone to chat with who enjoys the same level of contact as you, so that your feelings of neediness/clinginess match their needs for giving & being clung to!

A trick i use is that if i'm feeling anxious then i know something is not quite right and i should trust that instinct. It doesn't mean i'm too clingy or that they are horrible. It might be that i simply need more frequent messages than the other person, or that i don't feel comfortable with the content of their msgs, but whatever it is i know something just isn't quite right.

Because if things are going well then yes i will be excitedly waiting to hear from them, but i won't be feeling anxious. Looking forward to getting a call is not the same as being anxious that they haven't called! (i hope that makes sense)

 

i have the same problem you said about getting attached too quickly. A lot of us do. I'm like that as an adult too, but it's even harder when the little in us has become attached.

i try to remind myself i just started chatting with this person, we need to get to know each other over time. i've always got attached quickly and probably always will, it's hard to avoid getting hurt.

 

Focusing my attention on other areas of my life - things i need to do, or being physically active can help me cope. Trying to read or sit and watch telly doesn't help me but some people find it a distraction. Do some baking or walk the dog or whatever occupies you and takes your mind off thing. Try to remind yourself you have a whole life outside of this person! (I know it's easier said than done...so tempting to keep checking for msgs LOL)

 

There's no easy answers. Emotions are complicated things. Try to look after yourself and not get involved too quickly, but if you and someone else both like the same style & frequency of chat then hopefully it will flow quite easily.

 

Sorry for rambling,

Looby 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Looby-Lou