Avatar/Profile pictures, differences between D/s

[Pupperoo]

Hey!

 

Has anyone else noticed how so many doms/daddies across many websites such as this, fetlife and so on all like to not post pictures of themselves at all but instead fill it with handsome men in tailored suits, often cropped without a head? I find it hilarious!

 

But it's also kind of an interesting point to raise; subs, especially female subs, are expected to post pictures of themselves. I've noticed that a lot of subs are judged based on their appearance, but doms are supposed to be judged based on how macho or suave they are. It's a weird contrast to me, especially since it often ends with the doms not really caring that much about the subs appearance. In the end the dom goes by the subs personality and then supports the sub in their insecurities.

 

Have I missed something? Is it just a silly observation and I read too much into it?

 

 

[kawasaku]

I’ve noticed the point you raised with guys putting a stock image of a guy in a suit as their profile pic and some try to recreate it themselves with or without their face. I do find it quite humorous lol. However, I do prefer that over their genitals if we’re talking Fetlife .

 

Subs are supposed to have a “look” too just as Doms which is big doe eyes, probably wearing a collar w/ lead and in black or lingerie. Most profile pictures I see though are usually a Snapchat filter selfie though.

 

Another one I’d like to point out is how Littles are depicted as being thin, blonde and wearing a pink pleated skirt. There’s nothing wrong with fitting that look, but very rarely do I see anything else in inspo pics or modeling.

 

I don’t know where these generalizations come from but it’s very interesting.

[Pupperoo]

I’ve noticed the point you raised with guys putting a stock image of a guy in a suit as their profile pic and some try to recreate it themselves with or without their face. I do find it quite humorous lol. However, I do prefer that over their genitals if we’re talking Fetlife .

 

Subs are supposed to have a “look” too just as Doms which is big doe eyes, probably wearing a collar w/ lead and in black or lingerie. Most profile pictures I see though are usually a Snapchat filter selfie though.

 

Another one I’d like to point out is how Littles are depicted as being thin, blonde and wearing a pink pleated skirt. There’s nothing wrong with fitting that look, but very rarely do I see anything else in inspo pics or modeling.

 

I don’t know where these generalizations come from but it’s very interesting.

 

Oh good God no. Please no genitals But it'd be nice if I could actually see the person contacting me instead of just a headless suit. Almost as if it's straight out of some horror movie!

And yes, I agree that subs have a look that's expected of them in pictures, which is weird. Like I said before they don't generally go by that when connecting anyway. I don't know, it's just such a weird thing and it's creeping me out, even though it's funny. It's hard to trust a dom if they can't even share something as simple as a face picture on their profiles.

[baby_k]

The pic is both advertisement and also way of selfexpression -> in this type of site people bring out the little/daddy in them even they might look super lame and ordinary in most of their everyday life.

 

It can also be hard to figure out what sort of pic to put here, specially if not wanting to share your own pic. People with artistic skill of course can create anything but the other mortals have to find the images/drawings/pics from the internet.

 

Some people are there for looks and sexual fantasy and may therefore prefer seeing cute/handsome pics or at least some indication to that direction, so they can imagine easier. It can also be some alter ego, way to be what you want. Thou if using someone elses pics, that is plain wrong imo even if that person would keep all their interactions on purely on mutual ( internet ) roleplaying. The suit pics are not as bad as it is more of showing clothing than a person.

 

Personally I would never put my own face to site like this for privacy reasons. And I expect the same from any long time partner of mine as it is sensible behaviour imo ( friend: I don't care ). So, for me sharing pic is sort of negative even of course, when searching for possible partner it helps skipping people I find really unattractive. I prefer dscreet people when it comes to kink and other private matters.

 

Obviously for some not sharing a pic is negative trait and creates untrust. But I'm sure that where I can find my "discreet people" group, the more open people are able to find people who have values that suit them better.

 

 

PS. yes, I still do find it sort of funny that there are zillion tailored suit pics when most of those people wear a suit only to their grandma's funeral. But people could bash my bunny pic too as it is pretty general, thou for me it is presentation of me and my likes for I'm crazy bunny lady and that bunny looks pretty self-assertive

 

Edit: fixed typo that annoyed me...

Edited May 25, 2019 by baby_k

[Guest LittleSnowiii]

I agree with baby_ k , is saying they identify as a dom (at least how I read it).

Honestly I find that nicer than a very fake pic with abbs or genitals. 

For littles, if they're ok with showing their face props to them, personally I would never for my safety and privacy.

[Guest BabyPeach]

I think most people don't show their face because of privacy issues. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. If I do, it's usually obscured in some way like my current pic. I will not show my full face on here for privacy reasons, like others have said.

 

I guess Daddies choose pictures that they think are Daddy-like, hehe. It would be nice to see a good variety of pictures instead of the cliche suit picture. Although, I think it's easier for us littles because there are so many cute pictures on the internet we can use! 

[Pupperoo]

Mm, privacy is good and all. Sure. But I am not just talking about daddy's and this website here. I am talking about most websites dealing with BDSM related communities. It's weird to me that it's almost always the doms that are so ''mysterious'' and they all use the same pictures.

 

Of course privacy needs to be respected, but I personally don't think that putting up a picture of your face will ever be a violation of your own privacy. It's not like people will find your home address just because you have a profile picture of yourself ^^,

[Guest BabyPeach]

Mm, privacy is good and all. Sure. But I am not just talking about daddy's and this website here. I am talking about most websites dealing with BDSM related communities. It's weird to me that it's almost always the doms that are so ''mysterious'' and they all use the same pictures.

 

Of course privacy needs to be respected, but I personally don't think that putting up a picture of your face will ever be a violation of your own privacy. It's not like people will find your home address just because you have a profile picture of yourself ^^,

 

Hehe, that's true! I think it's more that they're afraid someone in their real life will stumble across it and see that they're into this or whatever else they're into. My thoughts are that if they find it here, um, why are THEY here????? 

[Siniwit]

Just wanted to add a reply from the other perspective:

Personally, I don't put my face up on here for a variety of privacy reasons. I don't want my face all over this site or others, but if I'm chatting to someone and feel a connection (whether platonically or not), I'm happy to share "who I really am" with them (so to speak). For me, it is absolutely not about hiding myself, but protecting myself. I do agree though, that there are an awful lot of people claiming to be Daddies or Caregivers with generic and stereotypical stock images for avatars/pictures. Usually my advice is to steer clear of those types, as, in my experience over the years, those are the ones who tend to have the wrong impression of what BDSM/DDlg/CGl is. Of course, there's exceptions, but those can be difficult to weed out from the rest.

As a Daddy, I have no expectations for what a little's profile should look like, what their picture should be or what they should look like, themselves. Personally for me, it's about connecting with the person first, and if the connection is there, then the superficial things won't matter. My take is that the more people focus on the superficial things, the less likely it is that a deep connection will be established. DDlg/CGl doesn't have to be about the aesthetics or fulfilling stigmatic expectations. There's plenty of littles out there who don't even like pink and may not like stuffies, or might not like colouring or whatever. Everyone is individual and I myself, try to take people as they are. My take is that any Daddy/Dominant/Caregiver worth their salt will be open minded enough not to have those stigmatic expectations and will be accepting of people for who and what they are, and when they are someone's Caregiver, they will do their utmost to help their little become the best version of themselves, without taking away from who and what they are.

[LittleTeacup]

I don't expect anybody to post pictures of themselves on forums. I try to keep pictures of myself off the internet in general, although of course that's impossible completely. If people want to date, then they can share pictures between themselves.

 

It is funny though about the suits thing. Maybe because I personally don't find suits attractive - they make me think of stuffy business executives. But then I know that person is probably not for me.

 

But it's also kind of an interesting point to raise; subs, especially female subs, are expected to post pictures of themselves. I've noticed that a lot of subs are judged based on their appearance, but doms are supposed to be judged based on how macho or suave they are. It's a weird contrast to me, especially since it often ends with the doms not really caring that much about the subs appearance. In the end the dom goes by the subs personality and then supports the sub in their insecurities.

This seems to me not a d/s thing particularly, but a cultural stereotype thing. Women are "supposed" to be judged on appearance, how pretty/sexy they are. Men are "supposed" to be judged on wealth, power. Women aren't supposed to care about how men look as long as they are powerful and men aren't supposed to care about a woman's personality as long as they're hot. It's completely unrealistic and few people actually think that way, but due to it being plastered all over society, many people think others think that way. This is also why stereotypically doms are men and subs are women, although of course in reality there are plenty of female dommes and male subs and it's not abnormal in any way.