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Opinion on my rules


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Posted

I would like to see what people think of the rules I have set for my little

 

*****

You will look after yourself and do what is necessary to maintain your physical and mental health.

 

You will use your safe words without fear of judgement when you genuinely don't want to do something or when something just doesn't feel right. (safe word is pineapple)

 

 

You will be open and honest with me at all times, while still being respectful, even if I may not like the answer. You will NEVER EVER be punished or reprimanded for telling me the truth (I will penalize “ time” as I see fit according to the degree of dishonesty in addition to whatever penalty the offense incurs)

 

 

You will do the dishes in a timely manner. +90 min per week / -90 min if you let them build up

 

Shower at least once every other day. +30 min /-30 min

 

You will be in bed with the lights out by 11pm every night unless I say otherwise. +15 min/ -15 min

 

 

You will wake up at a reasonable hour every morning.+ 15 min/ -15 min

 

 

Under no circumstances are you allowed to have coffee or energy drinks without direct (in person) supervision.

 

You will eat nutritious meals no less than twice a day and utilize vitamins and supplements if needed for health. +30 min per day/ -90 min per missed meal

 

You will exercise daily not to exceed 5 days

in a week Or 2 hours in a day. +1h per half hour of exercise/-120 min per day missed (does not include the two days off a week)

 

 

You will let me know in advance when you make plans that affect me

 

 

You will call me Roro, Sir, Morningstar, or Daddy (as appropriate to the situation or event) when we are alone, at kink events, or with kink friends.

 

You will arrive at your classes and work on time. +1h per week/ -15 min per offenses

 

You will perform your work to the best of your abilities and in a timely manner. +30 min for the first question +15 min for every question after/- 100 min for each weekday the assignment is not worked on until it's completed

 

You will be prepared to provide a detailed account of your work or school day if I ask

Posted

You will be open and honest with me at all times, while still being respectful, even if I may not like the answer. You will NEVER EVER be punished or reprimanded for telling me the truth (I will penalize “ time” as I see fit according to the degree of dishonesty in addition to whatever penalty the offense incurs)

 

 

What do you mean you'll penalise time? Time with you, or time watching television/doing fun things?

Posted

Well first of all, did you discuss these with your little and agree on them together or did you just come up with them on your own and expect us to judge them? Cause some of these I would not be ok with but your little might. I have no idea what you mean by the (ex.) "+30 min" thing.

 

I personally find the "You will look after yourself and do what is necessary to maintain your physical and mental health" thing a bit too vague (but maybe your little is on top of that stuff and doesn't need details).

 

And "waking up at a reasonable hour" is also vague. One person's reasonable is another's late. Make sure you two are on the same page to prevent arguments.

  • Like 2
Guest Aetherr
Posted

if it works for you and your little then you really dont need our opinions

Posted

I wasn't going to comment at all because there were too many questions but the running dialogue running in my head as I read it went more or less exactly like this:

 

 

I personally find the "You will look after yourself and do what is necessary to maintain your physical and mental health" thing a bit too vague (but maybe your little is on top of that stuff and doesn't need details).

 

And "waking up at a reasonable hour" is also vague. One person's reasonable is another's late. Make sure you two are on the same page to prevent arguments.

 

The only thing I wouldn't have added was (maybe your little is on top of that stuff...) because if she's on top of those things, then the rule is superfluous.

 

But what the hell, since I'm already here... make whatever rules work for the two of you.  Since we don't know either of you we're aren't going to be very helpful - at least I'm not.  But...I'll give you one rule that is as close to a universally usable rule as you're likely to find: 

 

When in doubt, ask yourself, "What would Daddy want me to do?" And do that.

  • Like 2
Guest TokidokiHelloKitty
Posted

As a little, I will say these are pretty good, considering most of these are essentially in the little's best health.interest if they follow them.

 

I'm not sure what the time penalty means though.

 

Also, bless you for validating the strength/importance of a safe word and honoring it.

  • Like 1
Posted
Also curious as to the time thing, as well as if they've been discussed. To be honest, no one's opinion matters if it's agreed upon on within the dynamic. If your little agreed, they're fine. As long as there was no manipulating. But I'm still rather curious about the time thing
Posted

As LittleTeacup and SamL already pointed out some of the rules are pretty vague. It's great if they still work for your little but especially when someone struggles with mental health issues at times very specific reminders about taking medication, etc. are needed.

 

Example: When I get stuck in a bad place mentally it can be as simple as taking a break to recover but my brain will often insist that I need to "earn" a break by completing the tasks I'm supposed to do which I can't do because I'd need to get better before I can do them but I haven't "earned" to take a break because I need to do these things but I can't do them because --- the sooner that circle can be broken, the better the outcome.

 

When I'm stuck in that loop I really benefit from clear instructions and it's wonderful if someone else can take over control and order me to "sit down and eat" or "have a nap" or "go on a walk" or whatever else I might need. A general reminder to do "what's necessary" probably wouldn't help whereas a clear rule that e.g. "I need to sit down and have a proper meal or inform my caregiver about the reasons why I didn't" will be an instruction that's easier to follow.

 

But as long as you're willing to see what works, discuss and revise with your little, I guess those are a good start.

 

(I'm not sure if I want to know more about the time penalties because I'm uncomfortable with the first associations I had but if you're willing to explain them to satisfy the curiosity of everyone who asked, I'm sure there are more people who'd appreciate that.)

  • Like 2
Guest Daddy-Tom
Posted
Bro, are you a Time Lord? What the *beep* does penalizing time mean? Lol
  • Like 4
Posted

Bro, are you a Time Lord? What the *beep* does penalizing time mean? Lol

 

Don't blink

 

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  • Like 1
Guest ~*~Sachita~*~
Posted

I'm not sure what kind of feedback you are seeking and I'm also confused about the time thing.

 

BUT

 

Here's the items with openings big enough for me to drive a bus through:

 

"You will do the dishes in a timely manner."  My version of timely may be vastly different from yours.  For example, "Well I had to wait twenty four hours for the pan to soak because it got all crusty when I was baking!"

 

"You will be in bed with the lights out by 11pm every night unless I say otherwise."   Sounds like phones, flashlights, and bonfires are okay after 11 PM :D

 

"You will wake up at a reasonable hour every morning."  I mean... depending on how tired I am, 2 PM might sound reasonable to me.

 

"You will eat nutritious meals no less than twice a day and utilize vitamins and supplements if needed for health."  Did you know that Oreos are vegan?  Practically a health food!  And chocolate lowers blood pressure.  And potatoes are a vegetable.  And berries are super nutritious, so pies and tarts are good.  And....on and on.

 

The rest of these sound very specific to the individual, so I won't go into that.  The school assignment question thing was confusing.  How old is this person?

  • Like 3
Posted

Some of these seem a little (pun?) excessive IMHO. I could not go without my morning Monster. Maybe a point system would be more effective? You do well, you get points, trade those points for possibly unhealthy/negative foods/actions?

 

Eat a healthy meal, get 5pts.

Complete a chore,get 10pts.

(Based on the school one) Get an A, get 20pts.

Drink a soda/coffee/etc, -10pts.

TV/Video game time, -10pts

Etc....

 

But that's just this guys 2 cents.

Posted (edited)

Well first of all, did you discuss these with your little and agree on them together or did you just come up with them on your own and expect us to judge them? Cause some of these I would not be ok with but your little might. I have no idea what you mean by the (ex.) "+30 min" thing.

 

I personally find the "You will look after yourself and do what is necessary to maintain your physical and mental health" thing a bit too vague (but maybe your little is on top of that stuff and doesn't need details).

 

And "waking up at a reasonable hour" is also vague. One person's reasonable is another's late. Make sure you two are on the same page to prevent arguments.

Thanks for your feedback and the time thing is a system we have up where she can earn minutes to use on things like having me stay up a little extra later to talk with her or spending extra time on things that we set a limit for. I've also said a monetary value for the minutes so that she can use them to have me buy things for her. And yes I have talked to her and every one of the rules she agrees 2 Edited by Fatherofroses
Posted

Some of these seem a little (pun?) excessive IMHO. I could not go without my morning Monster. Maybe a point system would be more effective? You do well, you get points, trade those points for possibly unhealthy/negative foods/actions?

Eat a healthy meal, get 5pts.

Complete a chore,get 10pts.

(Based on the school one) Get an A, get 20pts.

Drink a soda/coffee/etc, -10pts.

TV/Video game time, -10pts

Etc....

But that's just this guys 2 cents.

she has an extreme sensitivity to sugar and caffeine last time she had an energy drink she was up for 3 days straight which is very unhealthy and the smallest amount of processed sugar makes her extremely hyper
Posted

What do you mean you'll penalise time? Time with you, or time watching television/doing fun things?

starting to realize I should have done a little bit more editing for clarification for posting this but we have a Time system that's more of a point system that lets her have me stay up later with her then her bedtime and all the points have a monetary value that lets her have me buy things for her I would never take away social interaction with me or anything messed up like that
  • Like 1
Posted

Also curious as to the time thing, as well as if they've been discussed. To be honest, no one's opinion matters if it's agreed upon on within the dynamic. If your little agreed, they're fine. As long as there was no manipulating. But I'm still rather curious about the time thing

starting to realize I should have done a little bit more editing for clarification for posting this but we have a Time system that's more of a point system that lets her have me stay up later with her then her bedtime and all the points have a monetary value that lets her have me buy things for her I would never take away social interaction with me or anything messed up like that

starting to realize I should have done a little bit more editing for clarification for posting this but we have a Time system that's more of a point system that lets her have me stay up later with her then her bedtime and all the points have a monetary value that lets her have me buy things for her I would never take away social interaction with me or anything messed up like that

Posted

Also curious as to the time thing, as well as if they've been discussed. To be honest, no one's opinion matters if it's agreed upon on within the dynamic. If your little agreed, they're fine. As long as there was no manipulating. But I'm still rather curious about the time thing

it's a kind of point system I don't care for physical punishments and she doesn't really need them so the point system in which we barter in time so that she can stay up later or have me stay up later in

Vastly different time zones. They also have monetary value so that I can buy her things using the points

Posted

As LittleTeacup and SamL already pointed out some of the rules are pretty vague. It's great if they still work for your little but especially when someone struggles with mental health issues at times very specific reminders about taking medication, etc. are needed.

Example: When I get stuck in a bad place mentally it can be as simple as taking a break to recover but my brain will often insist that I need to "earn" a break by completing the tasks I'm supposed to do which I can't do because I'd need to get better before I can do them but I haven't "earned" to take a break because I need to do these things but I can't do them because --- the sooner that circle can be broken, the better the outcome.

When I'm stuck in that loop I really benefit from clear instructions and it's wonderful if someone else can take over control and order me to "sit down and eat" or "have a nap" or "go on a walk" or whatever else I might need. A general reminder to do "what's necessary" probably wouldn't help whereas a clear rule that e.g. "I need to sit down and have a proper meal or inform my caregiver about the reasons why I didn't" will be an instruction that's easier to follow.

But as long as you're willing to see what works, discuss and revise with your little, I guess those are a good start.

(I'm not sure if I want to know more about the time penalties because I'm uncomfortable with the first associations I had but if you're willing to explain them to satisfy the curiosity of everyone who asked, I'm sure there are more people who'd appreciate that.)

thanks for the feedback now that you mention that I probably do need to either remove or edit that one
  • Like 1
Posted

Bro, are you a Time Lord? What the *beep* does penalizing time mean? Lol

call me the doctors because bitch I might be. Jk. It's actually a time to some functions more like a point system she can use them to stay up later than her bedtime or have me stay up later with her because we're on different time zones they also have a monetary value so that I can buy her things using points at her request
Guest TokidokiHelloKitty
Posted

I like your rules, and now that you explained the time thing, I like that too.

Posted
I think they're reasonable and good rules. I like the time system you've established as well.

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