New to ddlg reward/ punishments

[cjrab1988]

My wife and I recently began ddlg. I'm currently at work and she is being a brat. I threatened writing lines as punishment and she basically said she wants physical punishment. We do have a few restraints and spanks but what is the right way to proceed and should there be sex?

[Little kaiya]

There is no right or wrong answer that anyone can give. The best answer is has a conversation with your partner as adults. Figure out what your comfort levels are, hard limits, whether it is sexual for you or not. Relationships are very unique and what may work for one Daddy and litte may not work for you and your partner. Some littles are sexual and for some it us an absolute no go, red zone.

 

For for Daddy and I we discussed things like writing lines but he had very bad memories of doing it as a child so refuses to go there. I mention this not to dissuade you from using lines as a punishment but more to underline that rewards and punishments should be unique to the couple, not something generic suggested online.

 

On the flip side some Daddy's withhold their attention and I was clear with my Daddy that is an absolute hard limit, not ok punishment with me. Little's expressing their feelings and limits isn't topping from the bottom, it's just good communication; the same goes for Daddy's expressing their limits or preferences.

 

That said, there is an excellent thread on punishments if you need ideas but I HIGHLY recommend talking to your partner, as an adult not a little, and figuring out what you both want, otherwise it could go south or be a very unrewarding or unproductive experience for one, the other or both of you.

 

Little kaiya

[Guest BabyPeach]

It is VERY important that you establish sex with punishment, or sexual anything all, when you talk as adults. It can be very traumatic for a little to be blindsided with a sexual act when they are little. Like Little Kaiya said, it's time to talk adult to adult and understand what each person desires and what each person is comfortable with. Also, always, always, always make sure there is a safe word for you and for her (it can be the same word for both of you). Daddy/little relationships can possibly bring up negative past emotions for both partners so a safe word that means stop what's happening now is vital.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

Ummm... Ask her what she wants? No one can answer this for you.

Personally, I prefer my punishments to go along with which rule I've broken. As a submissive/masochist, I'm more inclined to ask for the physical side of punishments. It sounds like she's asking for more of a funishment? Which for me, would be counter-productive in correcting my behaviour lol. You need to talk to her, go over your rule list, punishments and rewards. I'll attach some links below that you may find useful.

 

 
https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12727-a-starting-point-for-rules-rewards-punishments/
https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/27958-rewards-and-punishmentsfunishments-ideas-charts-etc/
https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5454-lets-discuss-healthy-caregiving/
https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/51-general-advice-for-new-daddies/