My middle is probably going to leave me.

[AWarmSafeSpace]

This came out of nowhere, that being said i knew this day would come. But I though it would be in a least 6 months or years...

We are a LD relationship. But we communicate all the time. messages in the morning phones calls during the day. pictures and good nights.. 
As best as you can make it. I took care of her through some really tough stuff this past month and she is through the hardest part and can actually see the finish line.
Not going to lie, it was very much a ton of me giving and her taking. Which is great i loved it. It made me really happy to she grow, and to see her embrace some of the strength i see in her. anyway... so everything going smooth. and then the next day she says something like she wants to be independent. but still loves me. it was along talk and took way by surprise. I mean i knew once she "grew up" - it would hurt and be bitter sweet, but that was how this was going to end. 

I think she is wrong, i don't think she is ready. and we discussed this. But I'm not going to force her to stay. I made it clear that I wanted this relationship and wasnt letting her go easy. Tried to walk the line of caring for her so much but not trying to guilt her into staying. If she wants to leave, then leave. 

But there were no signs, zero... just came out of nowhere and i don't think she was ready for me to say something like.. you can't have me 1/2 way. so that was really the thing she wasn't expecting.

idk... just so incredibly hurt. and there is a hole in my chest. We are still talking it through. and decided for the meantime to let the relationship run its course. idk, maybe she will flip the switch again just as fast. but idk if i even want that. she has this idea that we will be friends. but I was like... you really gonna start calling me by my name? That just isn't going to work. 

Idk what I am even asking. I guess it just venting. the writing is on the wall and rather then a slow break where you see the cracks and some push and pull/arguing or whatever.. we never had any of that. it went form perfect to over in a matter of hours.

And on top of it we were great together. she treated me great and i treated her great.

idk -just painful.

and sadly, she thinks that this can be turned on and off and we can be friends... that is not the case. i see no other way than a total break, otherwise it'll just be painful every time we talk. Now i kind of told her this but i was careful as to not give her an ultimatum. I just said i don't think that dynamic is realistic.

So now, we are just letting it go. Maybe having the adult conversation outside of the Ddom thing was what was needed (we are 24/7 and pretty much always had been) My personality is to be nurturer/protector by anyway.. so when we met i was just myself and few days later she asked if i would be her daddy. It was beautiful ever since.

well it helped to get his out. sorry to ramble.

[Littlest_Bee]

I'm sorry that it happened so suddenly. I'm sure it hurts a lot.

 

But the important thing is that you know what you can handle and what would be too much. If a friendship wouldn't work for you then that's just how it has to be.

 

Take care!

[MysticSand]

As a CG who has a platonic Little, my first question is.... Is/was this a platonic relationship??? I want to say 'no' just from the vibe of your post but wanted to ask to be sure. If it's not platonic, then yes I think I'd agree with you that a clean break is probably best.

 

If it's platonic, then I would suggest to switch from a daddy role to that of a mentor. You've helped her through a lot and having that support, even with a shift in mentality, is still crucial. As for the name thing, try going with a nickname? For her sake, getting rid of the usage of 'daddy' would be important and for your sake, not being called by something as formal as your name would be important. A nickname might be a good middle grounds about it.

[junebug0325]

Hi there,

 

I'm sorry that you are hurt, and I can understand that since you and her have been through so much together, it adds to that hurt because I can see you have a deep connection with her. 

 

Adding to that, the one question I have is, was the relationship really platonic? If you don't think you can stay "just friends" with her, then in my opinion, it wasn't really platonic to begin with, or at least, that's just what I'm getting from your post.

 

Ultimately, it has to come down to what's best for you. If you don't think you will be able to pursue a friendship with her because it will hurt too much to talk to her, then don't. Right now, you really have to worry about you and your mental health. 

 

Hope this helps.

 

 

 

 

Junebug xxx

[AWarmSafeSpace]

thank you. it was never platonic.