Having an online Daddy

[SamaK]

I’m fairly new to this and found my first Daddy but he is online. We don’t live close to each other at all. How do I approach the situation? We video call everyday because Daddy said so. What can I do to make him happy with an online relationship? Will it even work out? We haven’t set up many rules yet and I am a little bratty. I’m working on fixing that. I wish Daddy was closer, but that’s not possible right now. Guess I just need advice on how I would make this work.

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

Long-distance relationships absolutely can work! The most important thing (as with any new relationship) is to make sure you want the same things. You said that it's not possible right now to be closer together - if that's something you want in the long run, does your partner also want that? And if it came to relocating, which of you would be the one to move house? If you live in two different countries, is it even legally possible for you or your partner to immigrate? When you think about the future, do your plans for working and/or studying line up with having him as a partner? If this is a relationship you potentially want to maintain for the long term, are you two on the same page when it comes to big things like marriage and wanting kids? I know these seem like huge questions at the beginning of a new relationship, but if it seems completely logistically impossible to ever be together, or if you find your partner has completely different plans for the future, it's worth knowing at this stage before you get too emotionally invested. Having a conversation about what the future looks like to you, and being prepared to listen to his point of view too, is definitely worth doing at the beginning of a relationship.

 

Video calling is great, and getting into a routine of how and when to do so is important when you're far away from your partner. Just make sure that you're never forced to do so when you aren't in the right frame of mind. Just because you're playing a submissive role in the relationship doesn't mean you're any less of an equal partner. Your caregiver does not have the right to demand you do things you aren't ready for or in the mood for simply because of the position they hold in the relationship.

 

Have you talked to him about establishing rules, and if so, what did he say? Some caregivers have lists of dozens of rules and will be very harsh about rule-breaking, but others (myself included) see rules and punishments as secondary. It's worth discussing with him to let him know that you want rules, and how strongly you need them to be enforced. Any time we talk about rules and punishments it's a good idea to establish a safe word - a word or phrase you can say to end any scene or punishment that you don't want or aren't enjoying. If you haven't done so already it would be a great idea at this point!

 

When you've had more time to get to know each other, the two of you will fall into a routine of texting and video-calling that works for you. You can also do things like send each other gifts and care packages from time to time (though be wary of giving your address to someone completely new). Depending on what you enjoy about littlespace, you'll find that a lot of things a caregiver and little might do while physically together can be done at a distance. You can, for example, show him pictures you've drawn or coloured, invite him to a video-calling tea party with your teddy bears, or have a dinner date featuring some of your favourite littlespace foods. It just depends what you and he enjoy about CG/L - once you know what those are, you'll be able to enjoy them together.

 

If you approach it like you would approach any other relationship, I'm sure it will go well. Best of luck to both of you!

[Guest LittleSnowiii]

It can work with honesty, respect and effort! Me and my daddy are online aswell and we have met.

 

What you guys can do is to work on goals together. Maybe save money to visit each other, motivate each other everyday , talk at least 30 mins per day, etc. Basically make a list of things with your daddy that you see might help now, and for the long run, on the relationship.

 

Good luck

[Guest CollateralBeauty]

Hiya SamaK!

 

Long Distance Relationships

^ This is a forum topic one of the mods has made that talks a little about Long Distance Relationships. There are a few other topics on here about how to make long distance relationships work, too. I would try exploring the forum for similar topics.

 

I think a big thing to remember is just communicate. If something is bothering you or you're unsure of something, communicate those concerns with your partner.

[MysticSand]

Before I give a response, I just wanted to give a quick word of warning! When you say that you "found" your first daddy, I do hope that you talked with him for a bit of time and got to really get a feel for his character and personality before entering into a relationship. (Stating this because it seems to be a common thing for people to form CGL relationships within a few days and that only leads to heart ache a few days later. ><)

 

We video call everyday because Daddy said so.

What does the second half of this sentence mean? Does this mean that you don't want to video call every day? Hoping I'm just reading too much into things here but subtle cues like this make me think that maybe you're not comfortable doing this or are doing this just because he said so.

 

What can I do to make him happy with an online relationship? Will it even work out?

If you're in an online relationship, then that means you already make him happy! Don't overthink things as a natural rhythm will form and you'll find each other doing little things that mean a lot without having to think too much on it. You'll just naturally know and think of things to do simply because you enjoy doing them. (This is no help to you, is it? ><)

 

If you're asking if it will even work out... well, why do you have doubts? If you really do enjoy each other's company and are willing to put in the effort as in any relationship, then absolutely it will work out. Though as crazycatdaddy mentioned, make sure that your expectations with each other for both short term and long term are laid out and that your lifestyles and life goals match. Those components are really more valuable in determining if it'll work out than distance.

Edited April 30, 2019 by MysticSand