Can you ever recover from broken trust in Daddy?

[LolitaNikita]

Of course, a DDlg relationship is overall, a relationship. The beginning of my current one started as just a regular 'vanilla' relationship and then the DDlg dynamic was gradually added.

 

I know that in each relationship, things are different and subjective to the people involved, but I do feel that there is a higher level of trust in and vunerability for a babygirl in a DDlg relationship. I feel the breaking of trust a lot deeper and it's harder for me to move past it when I compare my past relationships that were vanilla.

 

Current Daddy/partner has broken my trust a few times now regarding losing his temper and saying hurtful, very painful things when he has gotten irritated with me expressing feelings or trying to talk about being upset. I feel unsafe to talk about things, as I don't want to argue or have both of us be upset, but I aslo feel that he is breaking the trust between us by not handling things in a better way and not resorting to being hurtful, ever.

 

I'm not saying as a babygirl I should be allow to just be unreasonably immature or hurtful or pouty, but isn't there a bit more of that on the babygirl side than the Daddy side? What's the point in trusting a Daddy to handle things, teach you, be there for you when he can't rise above his own immaturities and in such, hurts you.

 

Just wondering if other littles have encountered this and if things ever recover... Thanks for reading and sharing, if you choose to.

 

 

[PrincessBunnieButt]

I am brand new to the DDlg portion of relationships but I do agree in a way that I feel more vulnerable towards things. I think this is something you may want to bring up to your Daddy in a way. This is causing you distress and could cause further issues later on if you don't. Communication is key in all relationships but I feel it is even more important in a relationship that has additional dynamics to it being either DDlg or other things. If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.  

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

A Daddy should always have the patience and understanding for his little one. You should never be afraid to talk to him about things that bother you. It seems as though he doesn't understand the meaning of being a Daddy. You don't deserve to be lashed out on. Like PrincessBunnieButt said, communication is key to any type of relationship. I wish you well.

[Guest LavanderRabbit]

We both have broken trust and have been kind of cold to each other for a long time, we are both still mending and hopefully it'll be like it was before. He put off buying me a collar for a year and a half because of this, but now everything is almost normal again. We both have really bad trust issues, so this isn't anything really surprising for the both of us.

[Daddie'sBunnykins]

It takes lots of work on both Daddys and little ones sides. My Daddy recently kind of did something simular. He broke up with me while he was angry about something I didnt do. I didnt deserve to get lashed out at but in the end I was the one who suffered. Its hard refaining that level of trust with him. And its something we both work on everyday, and I think thats all you really can do. Just take it one day at a time and keep fighting for each other.

[special-blackbitkitten]

My Daddy has been hurt in past relationships and by friends of his so he has a lot of trust issues and anxiety and sometimes we'd fight about things that he was worried about (that I didn't understand) but at the end of the day we put our pride aside because we care about one another.

[SargeantCuddles]

When my ex Daddy broke my trust, it was extremely hard for me to talk to him while in little space. I was always scared to ask or say something and cried a lot. When I was out of little space I never told him about any issues or problems I was dealing with. I had closed myself off. It's scary and extremely difficult for me to deal with mistrust from Daddy and it frustrates the both of us at times.

[tiny333]

As a daddy i can say that its very hard to readjust to quite how sensitive your little can be ... And i fail at that sometimes

.. I wish to be better at it but it requires a whole reajustment of what i know ... So .. Have a little patience with daddy

As he is big and sometimes misses little things x

[Guest DominantBlogger]

This is a very difficult subject.  Essentially, we are all human and even Bigs make mistakes.  However, it really comes down to whether or not you can move past those mistakes or not.  I think it is probably more difficult at times when it is a repeated issue, like you describe.  But good luck to you. 

[DelilahDream]

Bear with me for a second while I try to explain what I mean without sounding condescending. When you say he's being hurtful, how do you mean? Is he belittling you? Being rude and/or hateful? Is there malice in his voice like he's intentionally trying to upset you and hurt your feelings? If so, I would highly suggest you rethink your relationship. We all say things out of anger that we don't really mean once in a while but if it's happening a lot, that's unhealthy. I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship for a long time. Please get away if you think that might be what's happening. Now that all said, is it possible that you're being sensitive? For example, Daddy can get upset with me and it hurts my feelings a lot. Just hearing annoyance or disappointment in his voice is enough to make me cry sometimes but that's my little side being overly sensitive and NOT Daddy being mean. I have to take a step back occasionally and put things in perspective. Bigs are human too, they get upset, aggravated, etc etc too. As a little it's really hard to hear that, especially when it's directed at us. We definitely wear our hearts on our sleeves. But it's NOT the same as our partner actually being hurtful. I think we also tend to put our Bigs on a pedestal of sorts too. When they fall short, we feel hurt. It's understandable given the personalities at play but you have to step back and realize when you're doing that too.

 

My advice is take stock of your situation and decide where you really fall. As mentioned, if he's being abusive, please please get out if you can. I know it's a lot easier said than done from experience but try. If not, talk to your Daddy. Let him know how you feel and give him a chance to make it right. Make sure you give him some slack too though if you decide he isn't being abusive. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say and it doesn't come off as me dismising your feelings. I also hope you and your Daddy can work things out. Good luck!