Any other littles fight their punishments?

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

I have a little bit of a problem...When I get a spanking from my Mommy, I always fight against it...Kicking, squirming, reaching back, the works. I always have done this, even when I was a child. Does anyone else resist their punishments? Does this anger Mommies and Daddies?

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

Being playful and "resisting" can be fun for both caregivers and littles. It adds to the realism of the roleplay/scene and can be enjoyable. As a caregiver, my priority is making sure that any resistance or fighting back is part of the scene and not coming from a genuine dislike of the punishment. This is one scenario where a safeword can become very important. If I don't hear a safeword, I know to press on with the punishment, whatever form it may take.

 

As long as both partners know what's going on and consent to the types of punishment being used, there's nothing wrong with what you've suggested. However, not all caregivers want a bratty little or are interested in brat taming, so punishments are definitely something that need to be discussed ahead of time. If a little is bratty and likes to push back hard against punishment, this is something I'd strongly advise them to be clear about just to avoid any conflict or disappointment down the line. But there are definitely plenty of caregivers who enjoy that kind of scene!

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

the problem is that this kind of reaction, for me at least, is pure instinct. I have no control over it. I know I deserve the punishment, and I know it is something I need to help purge the guilt from my misbehavior, but at the same time my body takes over, I panic, and fight back. I don't want my Mommy to leave me because of this...

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

If you're at a point where you're worried it might affect your relationship, I'd suggest you get out in front of it and talk to her.

 

You could write down what you want to say ahead of time if you're anxious about it, just to make sure you hit all the key points and say everything you wanted to say. I can't answer for her and tell you that yes she's okay with that or no she's not, but if you communicate openly and honestly at least you'll know where she stands. If it's something completely out of your control, what you're really saying is either she has to accept it or reject it, because you can't change it.

 

How long have you been together? If she's seen you behave this way a number of times and hasn't made any comment, I'd infer from that that she's probably okay with it. If it's perhaps only the first time she's seen you like that, or if she's made a comment about it, it would be worth having that conversation just to get everything out in the open.

 

Keep in mind that if during the course of the roleplay/scene she's said something along the lines of "don't be naughty" or "don't resist", it could very easily be part of the scene and that's her way of joining in and responding to what you're doing.

 

For the sake of safety, do you two have a safeword or a way to end a scene if the punishment goes too far for you?

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

Indeed we do. It's Ember. But I've never felt threatened or in danger at any time. quite the opposite in fact. In my Littlespace, I feel safer over Mommy's knee and in her lap for cuddles than anywhere else. I trust her completely. I just don't want to drive her away because of my struggling/resistance.

[baby_k]

That's interesting.

 

For worrying about your mommy: just ask her opinion about you resisting and if it is driving her away.

 

But I wonder why you resist really. You say you need help to get rid of the quilt, and I assume this is why you want the punishments? Have you considered are the punishments correct for you? Like some people like/need spanking where as some prefer something like writing lines or getting lectured from their caregiver. Or do you think it would help if you chose the punishment yourself? Or with spanking controlled more of the amount or force there?

 

Personally I don't like punishments and would freak out if something like that was pushed on me but if I said myself that I need punishment x, so then it would be okay.

 

Also, is the reaction just in beginning or do you calm down after awhile? If you resist just in beginning, I think it is maybe just being bit scared/tensed when something unusual happens which seems pretty normal reaction. Bit like having stagefright when doing public speaking.

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

I'm afraid no one here can answer for her and say one way or another how she feels about resistance to punishment. You have two options really: talk to her about it, tell her you're worried about pushing her away, and listen to her opinion on it, or say nothing and hope for the best. I'd always advise people in a relationship to communicate with one another, and even if you find having that conversation nervewracking, isn't it better to get it out in the open than leave it hanging over your head and stressing/worrying about it?

 

baby_k also raised some great points. Getting to the bottom of why you resist the punishment might help you. If it was a problem for your partner, understanding why you feel that way might help you overcome it if that was something you wanted to do. But I strongly suggest you start by talking to her.

[Littlest_Bee]

Alright, so, there are people who don't like that type of resistance, people who would try to train it out of you but I think if your mommy was one of those people, she should and would have told you about that very clearly by now.

 

You have a safeword and didn't have to use it. If she hasn't initiated a discussion there's probably no reason to worry.

Still I'm absolutely in favour of voicing your concerns to your partner. It's great that you think about her feelings and want both of you to get what you need. A talk will hopefully reassure both of you that what you are doing is right for you.

 

 

As far as the question goes about others resisting their punishments: Yes, I do. I have had spankers who wanted complete cooperation and I can do that up to a certain point but it doesn't give me what I feel I need.

My caregiver understands and respects that. But we are also constantly communicating. There are many factors to the well-being of a person. That's one reason why aftercare is so important. When you have doubts, checking in is the best thing you can do.

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

I want to thank everyone so much for all the help! I talked with Mommy, and she said she finds my struggling completely acceptable to her. It will make my punishments a bit harsher if I resist, but until she hears "Ember," she has agreed to continue with carrying out her discipline as she sees fit. And I love that about My Momma Bird! Thanks all of yous for your helps!