Brattiness or Self-loathing?

[NezuNeko]

I don’t know if it’s just the jealousy or what, but I’ve always had a complex against people my age and am always comparing myself to others and finding myself better while dismissing other people’s work and effort

That’s not to say I think I’m perfect because I’m not in any way shape or form even remotely good at anything, but I can’t stop myself from thinking something someone else does is not good enough even if I know I couldn’t do better

I feel like maybe it’s my own inferiority complex trying to make myself feel better but I hate it!!! But I know it’s either have awful thoughts or drown in my own self-hatred

Any suggestions on how not to judge others without judging yourself instead?

[Littlest_Bee]

Hmmm, maybe ask yourself this: are there people who don't make you feel like judging them that way?

If yes: in what ways do they differ from the people you are judging?

 

You don't seem to see the judgement you're making as justified if you think about it so where is it coming from? Have you been judged very harshly while you were growing up?

 

I would hope that identifying where these thoughts and feelings are coming from makes it easier to alter the way you think. Maybe consider talking to a therapist.

 

Best wishes

[baby_k]

It's already really well that you notice that you are dismissing people and that it is justifiable. Not everybody can do eventhat and they just go on living their life thinking others are somehow lower than themselves.

 

What I find helpful when I get overly negative towards other people is to think that whatever they do or say is just them thinking that by doing/saying that, they would be happier.

It sort of gives perspective and the idea that those other people are just people like we are. So, I try to remember that I'm surrounded by creatures whose mere wish is to be happier which doesn't seem like bad thing to desire.

 

What you could try also is to start having sessions where you just think in your head some person you like. Maybe take few deep breath before you start. And then think how they are person you like, and how they just want to be happy like people tend to want. And then wish them happiness ( this should be easy as you like them ). Next, do the same to person you are more neutral with, maybe someone from work you dont really know. Think the person, how they are people like everyone and just want to be happy, and then wish that person well and happiness. And last, choose person you don't really like, and try to see them jst as a person who strugles in life and just tries to be happy even maybe their methods are not the greatest. Once you can feel some understanding towards them or compassion, you can wish that person happiness like before you did to the other two.

 

This could help your brain to train to see others as something positive, comething you can feel compassion to.