I Like Women But I Want A Dom Daddy

[NezuNeko]

I have always been firm in my love for women, but lately, especially with my entrance into the DDLG community, I have been desiring a DD despite not being attracted to men. I think it has something to do with my masochism wanting to be used by someone I’m not attracted to, but I’m feeling very confused and lost lately

This is on top of getting a girlfriend recently who is not cut from a Mommy cloth at all and makes me feel like I’m taking care of her more than she’s taking care of me as well as moving out of the house I’ve been living in for 2 years with a person who I consider my CG

I need someone who can be my CG but I’ve been waffling on whether I should stay firm in my sexuality and look for a Mommy or break and get the Daddy I’ve been wanting

Any thoughts?

[LittlePupRune]

Don't really have any advice, but a female CG doesn't always identify as a Mommy, some identify as Daddies. Idk if that can help in any way.

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

There are people out there who would be willing to take on a daddy/dom role for someone who already has a partner. You have nothing to lose by trying it, but just be sure to make clear to potential daddy/doms that 1) this is kind of an experiment for you and might not be something you want to do long-term, and 2) you already have a partner. As long as your girlfriend was okay with it, nothing to stop you experimenting.

[NezuNeko]

Don't really have any advice, but a female CG doesn't always identify as a Mommy, some identify as Daddies. Idk if that can help in any way.

Of course! But I’m talking more about male Daddies over female CG. It’s not the “Daddy” title that’s tripping me up, it’s wanting to be with a man over a woman

[NezuNeko]

There are people out there who would be willing to take on a daddy/dom role for someone who already has a partner. You have nothing to lose by trying it, but just be sure to make clear to potential daddy/doms that 1) this is kind of an experiment for you and might not be something you want to do long-term, and 2) you already have a partner. As long as your girlfriend was okay with it, nothing to stop you experimenting.

I’m not really having an issue with the poly aspect of this (my gf has a fiancé for one), but rather the whole male aspect. I’ll definitely take you up on that advice for making sure to let any Daddies know that I’m still on the fence with the whole deal, though, so thank you!

[Guest bearboiii]

Why not try and experiment and find out if it's for you? You don't really lose anything just experimenting so why not try it out?

[Littlest_Bee]

I have always been firm in my love for women, but lately, especially with my entrance into the DDLG community, I have been desiring a DD despite not being attracted to men. I think it has something to do with my masochism wanting to be used by someone I’m not attracted to, but I’m feeling very confused and lost lately

This is on top of getting a girlfriend recently who is not cut from a Mommy cloth at all and makes me feel like I’m taking care of her more than she’s taking care of me as well as moving out of the house I’ve been living in for 2 years with a person who I consider my CG

I need someone who can be my CG but I’ve been waffling on whether I should stay firm in my sexuality and look for a Mommy or break and get the Daddy I’ve been wanting

Any thoughts?

I think it definitely sounds like a confusing situation. May I ask why the person you've considered to be your CG is not an option any longer? Did you move too far away or did you have a falling out?

 

For me it would be important to have a stabilising factor in my life before I experiment with something that I'm still feeling unsure about.

 

Take care

[Guest LostCaterpillar]

Perhaps, and this is a rather obscure idea, try going for someone who's trans or non binary? It may not be the sexuality aspect as much as the masculinity. There's a whole world out their for being attracted to those transitioning, and I think it might help you feel more comfortable about your confusion with wanting a man over a woman

[NezuNeko]

Perhaps, and this is a rather obscure idea, try going for someone who's trans or non binary? It may not be the sexuality aspect as much as the masculinity. There's a whole world out their for being attracted to those transitioning, and I think it might help you feel more comfortable about your confusion with wanting a man over a woman

Actually, that does solve a lot of my problems. It’s amab people I’m afraid of, but if they were non-binary it’s be a different matter. I’ve looked into dating other non-binary people, but I feel like trying to find a Daddy who isn’t male or female is impossible since most of the non-binary people I’ve seen in this community are littles ;

Finding a non-binary Daddy would be a literal DREAM, but I can’t seem to find any (●´ω｀●)

Thank you though!

[NezuNeko]

I think it definitely sounds like a confusing situation. May I ask why the person you've considered to be your CG is not an option any longer? Did you move too far away or did you have a falling out?

 

For me it would be important to have a stabilising factor in my life before I experiment with something that I'm still feeling unsure about.

 

Take care

I’m unsure about everything though!

I won’t be separating completely with the person I consider my CG, but in the end, she ISNT my CG in the real sense since she doesn’t particularly like this lifestyle even though she tolerates it. It’s the aspect of moving out of our shared living space - a space we’ve been coexisting in for years that’s rubbing me wrong. I won’t get as much attention as I need and she’s already terrified that I’ll spiral by myself

I WANT a stabilizing factor, but instead I’m getting the rug pulled out from all angles as everything in my life starts shifting and changing and I’m just so tired

I just wanted to make a change that I chose willingly instead of just letting everything around me move against my will, you know?

Thank you for your reply!

[Littlest_Bee]

I understand.

 

Well, it's not easy to be out as a non-binary person and people seem in some ways more inclined to be respectful to littles and acknowledge that we're vulnerable.

Caregivers don't get the same amount of protection and understanding.

 

If you're looking for a marginalised group of people within a small community it can be hard to find someone at first glance. And then you need to find someone you click well with.

 

Good luck and best wishes

Edited April 18, 2019 by Littlest_Bee

[LittlePupRune]

Perhaps, and this is a rather obscure idea, try going for someone who's trans or non binary? It may not be the sexuality aspect as much as the masculinity. There's a whole world out their for being attracted to those transitioning, and I think it might help you feel more comfortable about your confusion with wanting a man over a woman

I would be careful how you’d approach this. I’m trans/nb and very wary when people approach me. I’ve had straight men approach me and I cannot stand that as it means they do not respect my identity as a man/masculine person. If a lesbian woman would approach me it’d be the same reaction, as that means she’s implying I am also a woman. “Chasers” and other similar people are not looked upon kindly by the NB/Trans community as it is often objectifying or fetishizing. Some people may be ok with it but it really depends how you approach it.

[Littlest_Bee]

I would be careful how you’d approach this. I’m trans/nb and very wary when people approach me. I’ve had straight men approach me and I cannot stand that as it means they do not respect my identity as a man/masculine person. If a lesbian woman would approach me it’d be the same reaction, as that means she’s implying I am also a woman. “Chasers” and other similar people are not looked upon kindly by the NB/Trans community as it is often objectifying or fetishizing. Some people may be ok with it but it really depends how you approach it.

Thanks for bringing that up, I was thinking that could be an issue but I wasn't sure how to word it. Especially since I (despite having moments of gender confusion) don't really see myself as a trans person.

 

I think in this case it's more about her being scared and acknowledging that trans or non-binary people could have a better insight into the things she might be worrying about than the average cis man since it's explicitly about finding a male caregiver who she wouldn't be sexually attracted to. But it's a fine line to walk.

[Hawkeyes71]

You have to follow your heart. If you feel the need for a dd/cg, talk to a few. If you click, let it flow. As for your girlfriend, you have to decide if the relationship is what is best for you. I would be happy to talk with you if you wish. My way to to help others find the options to find their way and what is best for them.