Am I wrong?

[Guest Penny]

I have spoken to a few potential daddys and I feel like I'm either totally missing the point of DD/lg or they're missing it. It seems like the sexual aspect of the dynamic gets overplayed in conversations that I have with most perspective daddy's and I'm starting to feel like I'm never going to find what I want.

 

For instance when talking to one particular daddy, I won't name names I had told him that not only had I woken up with a swollen wisdom tooth but that I was in pain and depressed that day. He didn't offer advice, didn't text me ONCE to ask me if I was feeling better or if I was okay throughout the day and even scolded me when I told him that I had eaten ice cream for lunch to try to take the swelling down in my mouth but he did seem to care an aweful lot about the type of underwear I was wearing.

 

This seems to be a trend, me reaching out to a daddy to see how they do with comforting me and offering possible suggestions and being completly ignored, blown off and made to feel bad for not wanting to answer obscene and offensive questions from day one.

 

Am I being overly sensitive about this? Am I wrong to expect a little more out of a daddy? Or is this normal? I seriously don't think this is what DD/lg is supposed to be about but I'd be lying to say that I'm not just a little frustrated and ready to give up.

[littleinwonderland]

You're not wrong! I'm sure there are plenty of different ways people think of DDlg, and not everyone has the same expectations and definition. It's not wrong at all to expect more. I am still waiting for the right daddy as well because of these same things. I want a daddy that truly cares about my wellbeing and will cherish me, just as I will do for him at all times. Once you find that daddy that truly cares about you, then you can make each other your whole world if you so please, and it can be amazing! I know it's frustrating I've been there too. Don't give up hope though! While there are plenty of daddies out there that are more interested in the sexual aspect, I'm certain there are just as many that are in this for the deeper meaning behind the dynamic. Sometimes I feel I will never find that myself, and have that bond, but we aren't wrong for wishing for it.

[MellyBoo19912015]

Your not wrong. It's not all about sex. To me sex is actually the smallest part of it. You have every right to expect caring. And who scolds someone from ice cream when they are sick, isn't it like the law to eat ice cream when your sick?!

[Guest Cain]

Hello penny,

 

I think you aren't wrong, you are right, some daddies or littles think this is a game and don't take the real importance to this. In my case as daddy, somedays I really really missed din't get a "good morning" or "good night" that little things are very important.

 

The little is the daddy's world, the daddy is the little's world, one can be tired, busy, stressed, mad, angry for any reason, but for that you can't stop taking caring or loving the other. nobody deserve be ignored and less when is a serious thing.

 

I really hope your daddy change his attitude or you can find a real good daddy who give you what you need. 

 

And penny, you aren't wrong, I swear. I hope you wisdom tooth feel better soon.

 

pd: sorry the bad english.

[Rosetta]

I think its give and take. You are totally right that a Daddy should care. I mean, let's not use Daddy, but partner in general. Of course you can expect your partner to care. Yet, when you meet from day one, and you start by listing all the hurts and worries you have, they might have the feeling "where's the fun part?", they might feel dragged down.
Of course I'm not saying, yeah sure, go full out and give yourself for free! No no, just like you should expect them to be all excited to get to hear about all your hurts and worries and other complaints, you aren't too excited to get pushed into the sexual aspect. So, if you feel they respect you and the fact that you don't want to show yourself sexually right away, they want you to understand (probably), that their care comes overtime too. They won't fake it, which is a good thing. So the more you get to know eachother, the more he'll start to naturally care about you as a person he wants to help and make happy and better, and you will care that he is attracted to you and will naturally want to please him.

That's how i think, things can naturally grow in a healthy way where neither have to do things they don't want to do. Which is after all the biggest point.
 

[Guest ( ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ ) MrGentle]

You're not being overly sensitive at all. Other than your tooth that is. I've spoken to probably a half dozen littles on this site and every single one of them has the same story to tell. I think it boils down to what I said to one of them earlier today in fact. Many men who think they're Daddies get into it because they want a tight little sweet innocent girl to f*ck. The return on investment after a man has orgasmed and realizes he still has not only a full blown relationship to handle, but one that is 100000x deeper because of it's complexity is too much, and they fold. If you're questioning him early on, talk to him... if it feels wrong, you're right.

[Guest Penny]

Oh I'm not talking to him anymore. As far as I'm concerned if you ask me a personal question and I tell you I'm not answering it and you respond with ANYTHING other than I understand then we don't talk anymore.

 

You can't ask me sexual questions on day one then make me feel bad for asking you to back off a little.

 

Also I do understand that a relationship is give and take and no one likes to hear about someone's downs but if you ask me what is wrong and I tell you then you proceed to disregard it in a fashion much like "I'm sorry you're depressed. So what color panties are you wearing?" you're not worth my time or anyone else's until you learn how to be a decent human being much less a proper daddy.

 

That's just how I see it.

[Guest Penny]

And just so you know it wasn't that he was withholding care from me, it was blatantly disregarding my wishes, my frame of mind and scolding me for doing what I felt I needed to do to remedy the situation. There's withholding care and there's being a jerk.

[Guest ( ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ ) MrGentle]

That is hilariously depressing that people do that. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[The Perennial Princess]

Absolutely not. I cannot say that those you are interacting with are misguided, for, they may have their own definiton of DDLG but, your response is likewise understandable. From my point of view, a DDLG relationship is meant to emphasis unconditional love, nurture, guidance, and support. A little needs a daddy because she needs to be delicately tended and taken care of in such a way that she flourishes as an individual. As stated, everyone will have their own specific expectations and while sex may be more important to some, it should never be the focal point of any relationship. No matter how intense the initial passion is, that will wane and flicker over time, and as you and your daddy evolve as people, the dynamic should as well.

 

If you desire a 24/7 DDLG lifestyle then sex should definitely take a backseat to love, understanding, and care. I find that it's important that a prospective partner (vanilla, DDLG, etc) meets the following criteria: 1.) loves the same way as you do, 2.) desires the same things out of life, 3.) sees the world with similar eyes.

 

Your partner should complete you in every which way you so desire and fulfilling your needs is a part of that. Don't settle out of loneliness or due to inertia. You will find the right one when you least expect it and your specific relationship will satisfy both of you. I find that's the danger with personals that list set parameters and requirements. The right one may be ignored and one that may initially seem like the right one won't for long. You don't have to be friends first per se but I think you should explore one another as individuals rather than two people set on a specific dynamic. Not every self-proclaimed daddy is one. Sometimes, the most initially vanilla of men become the best daddies with the right little. I should know, and I hope you do too someday soon. 

[Guest LittleAnna]

i totally understand you penny because i have went through the exact same daddys, and a little worse too cuz when they want to be satisfied and i refuse i got scolded and was called names..........clearly they are not daddys or caregivers!!!!

[Guest Penny]

You should never be humiliated or scolded for not wanting sex. Ever ever period ever. It's your body and your right to say no. Hang in there, I'm sure we'll both find what we're looking for.

[mac6531]

Yeah, if they hold such little regard for you right now, then clearly they don't have the respect for you that you deserve. Your needs should never be secondary to their pleasure.

Best of luck to the both of you in finding partners of a higher calibre than that.

[Dorian_DD]

the care giving aspect is a major part in this scene...I think its nice to help your little and make them feel safe and important. Some people see ddlg as a purely sexual aspect. That is wrong because it leads to hurting people when the views are so different.

The person your looking for is out there....sometimes it takes awhile to find a diamond.