After Tragedy, Heartbreak, and Loss...Am I meant to find a Forever Little Bird?

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

I'm really stuck...I've been through a lot in recent years...My first little left me for another man, but he is a good man and she's happy, so I'm okay with that now...My second Little was unfortunately killed in a car accident. My third Little cheated on me with another man...And my last little has left the country for the foreseeable...My issue is that I miss being a Daddy...But I don't know if I can withstand the loss of another Princess...My son recently passed away and his mom has decided leaving the country is best for her and the rest of the children. I don't think I could handle more loss or tragedy... Perhaps it would be best to stay away from accepting another Little into my life...

[Guest PrincessKitty323]

I’m so sorry for your losses, there are lots of genuine littles out there that would love a daddy. Never say never, I’m sure your time will come!

Sending you lots of good wishes

 

Kitty x

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

My sincere sympathies for everyone you've lost. Losing a child... I can't imagine what that must be like.

 

For my two cents, I guess what I'd say is that grieving can be a long and complicated process. Grief for the people in your life who have passed, but also for the relationships you've lost, for the people moving away who will be less present in your life. Those are different forms of grief but grief nevertheless. While the desire to have someone to be with through those moments can be a very powerful one, it's also okay to say that maybe you need time to process everything that has happened. Do you have time in your life to dedicate to someone new, and even if you do have time, would you be entering the relationship with a healthy mindset? Or would you be approaching it as a distraction from what's happened, a way to mask how you've been feeling, or in the hopes that a new romantic relationship might go some way to filling the gap left by the people you've lost?

 

I can't answer any of those questions for you, it's something that requires a lot of introspection and soul-searching on your part. I have mental health issues, and I have to confess that when I was particularly unwell, I tried taking on several relationships as a way to distract myself and to try to mask to myself and the outside world what was going on inside. Those relationships all failed, and in the process I undoubtedly hurt people. People who didn't deserve to be hurt, and people who I should never have gotten involved with because I was trying to, in a way, use them and use their presence to get away from issues I should've been dealing with internally and with the help of professionals. So that's my own bias coming through.

 

If what you're worried about is someone leaving you or breaking up with you after you've become emotionally invested, that isn't always going to be the case. Remember the saying that you only need to find the right person once? You only need one relationship in your whole life to work out, because that one will last the rest of your life. I believe that there is a right person for everyone, and I know you will find that person when you're both ready for it. If you're sure that now is the right time, then don't hold back and go full throttle to finding her. But if maybe now isn't the right time, don't be afraid to take more time to process everything going on in your life, and if necessary, speak to a professional. Help is out there, but you have to take the first step to seek it.

 

I wish you the best, truly. If I can be of any help please don't hesitate to send me a message.

[Guest LittleSnowiii]

I think first you should focous on your health. You went through so much emotionally, specially now with a recent lost (I'm very sorry).

Take your time. Grief is a hard thing to go through. Allow yourself to take time through that process. 

Right now ideally wouldn't be the best time to enter a relationship. 

When you think mentally and emotionally you're better, then 100%. There are many wonderful littles out there, who would love you with their whole heart