First daddy question..

[Hisprincesslittleone89]

Hey everyone!!! So I have a question I have been talking to someone and been in little space with him several times and have been out a few times. We have been talking for almost a month and i have slipped and called him daddy a few times he just makes it so natural to be in little space and I’m really catching the daddy feelings for him. We also have even been intimate with each other outside of littlespace...He says he wants to take it slow make sure we don’t rush it and I get that and completely agree but I have been down this road before and gotten crushed and my emotions played with so I’m really scared... I make little

Hints to him and I know he knows I want to be his little but I don’t know what to say I don’t want to feel like I’m pushing or rushing him....how long should i wait to see if he wants me to be his little...should i say anything?

[baby_k]

Month is really short time.

 

But you should talk to him and get on same page with everything. Based on what you wrote, you have talked some but seems clear that you are unsure of how things are between you two, and there is stuff that bothers you. When something bothers you, it's better to talk than let the unsaid grow into bigbig pile of worry which can come out in undesired ways.

 

So, tell him how you are scared, tell him that while you agree that you shouldn't rush.... Tell what you want and desire. Also how fast you would wish them to happen.

 

BUT huge but: you need to be prepared to hear "no" from him. Most likely he doesn't know when he feels ready to be your daddy. However, you can still talk how fast would seem reasonable to him and what it really would mean to be a daddy. Is it just a word you use, or is it closer to marriage like commitment. It is super important to understand the meaning beind the word. This can also help you to see if you truly want to be his little the way he sees it now or do you also prefer to wait ( like think would you marry him right now? I doubt so and assume you would still like to see how he is and how he treats you in long term ).

Also share your view of what it means to be little/daddy. How you would want it to be. Then it may also need little compromising or taking in new ideas for both of you if your views differ a lot. But that way you are one step closer of actually balanced and happy ddlg rel.

 

And stop hinting. Really Men often don't even notice them or at least it will just keep agitating you as the hints keep you hoping that "now/soon he will...". Hinting keeps the issue on top pf your mind all the time but doesn't really do anything. It's better to talk and have clear communication.

[Hisprincesslittleone89]

I guess I should have shared more about our dynamic I am in a open marriage so it would not be about marriage dating yes but not marriage my husband has tried to be a daddy but he is just a sadistic dom and can’t get into the little side but we have been in a open marriage way before he even knew I was a little...and I know I need to be more open and speak with him I’m just very shy and have been hurt a lot when it comes to my little side and I guess a big part of me is afraid of hearing no and sometimes feel a bit discouraged. And I don’t just call anyone daddy it does mean something special to me and I guess that’s what really freaked me out when I say it when I’m in little space with him.

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

Hinting doesn't always work, unfortunately. And even when people do notice hints, if it's not something they're interested in they will often choose to ignore them. Communication is really important in any relationship, and sooner or later you will need to express yourself more clearly - unless you're content to keep going in this kind of limbo state.

 

In the world of online dating, both inside and outside of the CG/L community, there are people who don't like commitment. They want to talk to as many people as they can, flirt a little, maybe go on a date or two, but keep "playing the field" for want of a better term. While a month isn't a very long time, if you two have been in regular contact and you're moving in that direction, if he hasn't made any comment about the nature of your relationship it indicates to me that he's probably happy with the way it currently sits. Either that, or he's too shy to say anything. However, I can tell you as a caregiver, if I'm having a series of conversations with someone over the course of a month and they call me "daddy" at some point, that's gonna trigger a conversation. I'm gonna talk to them and say, "okay, so you called me 'daddy' earlier - what does that mean from your point of view?" Has he said anything along those lines? When you called him "daddy", did he react in any way, or acknowledge it?

 

The next point is, you're in an open marriage. And your husband is fine with you pursuing this relationship, which is great. But does this guy know about that situation? And is he okay with being a secondary partner? This is back to communication - if he doesn't know you're married he may not wish to continue things, and if he does know, he may believe based on that that you're looking for something much more casual. It sounds like you're ready to talk to him and establish once and for all that he's your daddy, and that's great, I'd encourage you to do so. But as was mentioned above, you have to be prepared that it might not go the way you want, because his expectations might be very different. Until you talk to him, you won't know. Not wanting to rush is admirable, even more so because so many people in the CG/L community seem to rush. But having a discussion about what you want going forward is a really good idea. You want to know that you're on more or less the same page. That's what you're really looking to find out - whether you and he are compatible and have expectations for the relationship that match up. Hopefully you do!

 

Now that you're at that point where (it seems) like you're ready for him to be your daddy, you have nothing to gain by waiting. The nervousness you feel about this is normal, but it won't go away until you have that conversation with him. And the longer you wait, the more nervous you're likely to become about the situation. Unfortunately none of us here on the forum can tell you what he's thinking or what he will say. You need to have that discussion with him so you'll know for sure.

 

If this kind of conversation is difficult for you, write down what you want to say ahead of time. You could write a whole paragraph or just the important bullet points, and refer back to it when you're ready to talk to him. I often use this approach when dealing with any serious conversation - not least because my memory is poor! If you have your basic points written down, you won't miss any of them when the conversation unfolds, and you can be absolutely sure that you said what you wanted to say and that he understood.

 

But to answer your original question - should you say anything? Unless you're content to carry on the way things are, then absolutely yes. Talk to him, find out what he thinks about the situation, and put on the line your thoughts and feelings, and your expectations for the future. Good luck!

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

Hinting doesn't always work, unfortunately. And even when people do notice hints, if it's not something they're interested in they will often choose to ignore them.

 

The best hint for a man is one sentence, using words of three syllables or less, explaining exactly what you want

[Aston]

And stop hinting. Really Men often don't even notice them or at least it will just keep agitating you as the hints keep you hoping that "now/soon he will...". Hinting keeps the issue on top pf your mind all the time but doesn't really do anything. It's better to talk and have clear communication.

Explain your current personal (marital) situation to him.

 

Be clear, direct and unambiguous. give him something to which he can reply with a yes or no answer.

[Hisprincesslittleone89]

Yes he is very aware of me being married we are all friends and he approached me about wanting to see if we could be compatible of being daddy/little relationship. Thank you for the advice about writhing it all down I will do that tonight and I need to suck up the courage and talk to him I believe I will do it on our next date! Thank you everyone for the advice I am still very new to the Ddlg world and I’m still learning.

[Hisprincesslittleone89]

And when I called him daddy in person he just started holding me tighter and kissed my forehead but he has never said anything about it directly.

[Hisprincesslittleone89]

Update: pretty sure I’m going to have to tell him tonight that I can’t do it anymore he’s not making time for me he doesn’t check on me ever since I brought up my conversation I feel a void between us and it hurts and stinks I hate that I opened myself

Up to him and became vulnerable with him... went into little space the other night and all i could do was cry he was not busy and i asked him to come over and he completely ignored it.

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

Very sorry to hear that it isn't going to work out. You were definitely right to talk to him about it, and if he doesn't want to continue then it's better to know after a month than to keep trying and keep hoping and getting even more emotionally invested.

 

There are other caregivers out there and I'm sure you will find someone who will be able to give you what you need.