Having an Allowance?

[junebug0325]

Hiya! Thanks for reading! 

 

I just want to start off by saying that my Daddy and I just signed the lease to our new apartment so money is tight because we both have minimum wage or near-minimum wage jobs. 

 

It has come to my attention that I have a retail therapy problem. Not extreme, but I definitely like to indulge in buying cute things for our apartment (I'm a designer at heart, don't judge me). So, to help me get over this problem, my Daddy has asked me to think about getting an allowance instead of just carrying around my debit card which wouldn't help me stop buying things from the stores. 

 

It sounds like a good idea with me, but I struggle with trusting people. My Daddy is the person that I've trusted the most like.... ever, so if I were to do this with anyone it would be with him. But, I am still not sure about this whole idea.

 

So, I guess MY question to YOU, would be: do you have an allowance? How does the allowance work between you and your caregiver? Do you have any suggestions to help me trust my Daddy more with my bank account?

 

Thanks in advance for your comments and I look forward to reading them!
 

 

 

 

 

Junebug xxx

[Guest Aetherr]

my suggestion? if you dont trust him with your card, whenever you go out leave your card in the house and only take enough cash for whatever you intend to pick up that day, and you keep receipts for your daddy.. that way he doesent have possession of your card but neither do you

Edited April 6, 2019 by Aetherr

[SamL]

Hiya junebug!

 

My littles receive an allowance.  How does it work?  They love it, but it might be because it has curbed MY spending as anything I hand them is that much less that I have to spend...ahem.

 

As for trusting your daddy more: Some things call for baby-steps but my sense is that this isn't one of those times.  Rather, this seems (to me, to be one of those times for which the saying was coined, 'You can't cross a chasm in two small leaps'.  I think when the day comes, you're just going to have to pull the trigger - as scary as that may be.  Which isn't to say that there is nothing you can do.  How well do you trust yourself?  Can you not turn that over to your daddy exclusively but make the decision to share the authority to give you an allowance?  This way, the allowance does not come from him - but from you and him.  You are not giving him control, you are allowing him to share control with you.

 

Also, with some littles and on some issues (every little is different as are their needs), we might have had a conversation that went something like this:

 

Me: "So, we're agreed then?  $20 a week for an allowance?"

Little: "Yup, yup, yup!  So where is it?  I think I need to go to the store right now...!"

Me: "Well, why don't you just use your debit card and limit yourself to $20 a week?"

Little: "What if I over-spend?"

Me: "I can't imagine you over-spending..."

Little: "Have you met me?"

Me: "Well then, here's an idea.  You know that it is important to Daddy that you limit your spending to $20 a week and you also know that it is important to you to buy all shiny knick-knacks, paddy-whacks and dog's bones - so I have a fancy, magical spell you can cast to help."

Little: ~perks up~ "Magical spell...kinda like Frozen..?"

Me: "Just say, 'Abracadabra, alacazam! If I love this shiny new knick-knack, paddy-whack or dogs bone more than I love Daddy, I can buy it!'  That should help."

Little: ~buries head in stuffie~

[Lollipox]

I was anxious to trust mine at the time too. But took the risk and it worked out fine. I now have an alotted allowance. The part that sucks though is when they forget to give you it and you have to ask. That is the worst feeling to me, even if it IS your allowance, asking for money.

 

Other than that, I don’t binge shop anymore.

Instead I sort through the things I already have and try to appreciate them.

[Guest Fleur-Angelique]

personally i wouldnt give my card to my partner so i agree with Aetherr that you could simply leave the card behind at home - ive done that on my own as i got the same problem when i had stress only it went away after i got better. 

[LittleCelticLass]

You don't havd to give him access, just take out whatever the agreed amount of cash is, (take him with you to the bank, it might be fun) and then leave the card at home. I do this on my own to avoid over spending. Once the money is gone, it's gone.

[Guest lil-kitten22]

What alot of my friends do is we will leave our cards in the car when we go shopping, if its something we have to have now we have to be willing to walk all the way to the car and back purchase it, if its not worth the walk you dont need it.

What i do with my daddy (he keeps track of the money in our triad) is ill take pictures of what i want including the price tag. I send it to him with my reasoning of why i want it, if i have any coupons or if its on sale. I usually get a yes or a later. If its a later i keep the picture and know how much i need to save for, this also gives me time to rethink it. If it's a yes then my spending has been approved and i dont hafta worry about it.

Having to send pictures also helps with the importance of getting it. If im not wanting it enough to send the picture and wait for a response, then i didnt really want it that bad.

I hope this helps!

[Guest QueenJellybean]

there have been a couple of topics like this in the past! 

 

i don't have an allowance, but The Giant and I have lived together for nearly ten years, and we have joint finances. 

He files our taxes (i watch, and struggle to learn.) He pays most of our bills. He makes sure the rent is paid. 

He budgets for groceries, and He's the one who knows how much leftover money we've got to play with. 

this is the way we have both consented to it being, and that's the most important part here.

 

He doesn't keep my cards, or have access to my accounts -- like Lass, we take it out together, or I give Him my half of gas or groceries. 

i do, however, ask for permission to purchase things outside of our normal budget,

and i ask if we can afford things like getting my hair or nails done. 

[Guest]

I don't have a daddy that makes me need to watch my own finances. I wouldn't give my bank account number or bank card to anyone if I was even slightly hesitant. Much more importantly I wouldn't give permission to access and remove funds from my account.

 

You can buy a rechargeable gift/credit card. Hand him over your cash and you can go to the store together for him to put the money on it! Don't quote me on this, I believe you can recharge at multiple stores, that makes it easier.

 

The alternative that I use is I pay off all my bills and rent then leave just enough for my own allowance. Your Daddy can use a fake over draft penalty! How it works is if you use too much from your real account the next time a part of your allowance goes in a piggy bank and you get less spending money. This really can be fun or as a punishment if learning as a little is part of your dynamic. Your daddy can help you count the money to go into your little bank. It works for long distance couples too. And can still be used with a rechargeable gift card.

[PapasLola]

I get allowance I don't gots a job or make any moneys.

[HunnysKitten]

Cash is the best way to go. Leave your card in a safe place at home. Cash will make you more aware. My Daddy lets me have $20-$40 every 2 weeks. That I can spend on whatever I want, but once I am out, then I have to wait. Also, if we are planning a trip out of town I save my allowances so I can buy wanted items without asking my Daddy for it. () Since there is always a chance Daddy will say no lol.

[HunnysKitten]

I don't have a daddy that makes me need to watch my own finances. I wouldn't give my bank account number or bank card to anyone if I was even slightly hesitant. Much more importantly I wouldn't give permission to access and remove funds from my account.

 

You can buy a rechargeable gift/credit card. Hand him over your cash and you can go to the store together for him to put the money on it! Don't quote me on this, I believe you can recharge at multiple stores, that makes it easier.

 

The alternative that I use is I pay off all my bills and rent then leave just enough for my own allowance. Your Daddy can use a fake over draft penalty! How it works is if you use too much from your real account the next time a part of your allowance goes in a piggy bank and you get less spending money. This really can be fun or as a punishment if learning as a little is part of your dynamic. Your daddy can help you count the money to go into your little bank. It works for long distance couples too. And can still be used with a rechargeable gift card.

This is a brilliant idea!!!!!

[junebug0325]

Thank you for all the replies! It was a great help in deciding whether or not I should have an allowance. Daddy and I read these comments together and have decided that he will not have access to my bank account, but rather just keep my card in his possession somewhere in the house so it won't be in my wallet. 

 

Along with this, I will only have the cash that Daddy gives me, whether it be for buying something or for an emergency. Also, I still have visibility of all transactions on my account through my mobile banking app, so I can see anything if I am having a lack of trust at that moment.

 

Overall, we have decided that having an allowance would be good for me, and we appreciate all of the input from anyone who responded.

 

Thanks!

 

 

 

 

Junebug xxx

Edited April 12, 2019 by junebug0325