Lost...

[Guest CollateralBeauty]

So I have not been on here in a while, and I've felt lost the whole time. I haven't been able to get into little space, either. I feel like a part of it is because I don't have a DD to be little with, but I also just feel like it is because I've had a lot of stressful things to take care of.

 

Now that I've gotten back, I've realized how much I miss being little. But I feel like I can't be little anymore. I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't express any interest in being a DD, but I feel like this is something I need. I've recently started considering a sort of polyamory relationship. I've never liked the thought of it before as I would selfishly not want to share my partner(s) with anyone else. But I also don't want to end my current relationship.

 

If you are in a polyamory relationship, I would love to talk with you on how the dynamic works for you.

 

[Guest Aetherr]

you dont need to be poly to have a caregiver, talk to your partner about your needs and work something out that gives you what you need without either one of you getting into something that may end badly

 

you dont need a caregiver to be your partner it could be a play partner in a non-sexual way or it could be a male friend who enjoys taking care of you and your boyfriend and you trust him not to try any nonsense

 

the other alternative is yes poly but if you rush it or dont communicate or heck if you do start a poly things and one of you decides that they want out it could ruin everything

 

dont do something like poly unless you are sure its what you want and dont do it with someone you have feelings for in a monogamous way

 

go find a caregiver/babysitter and make sure your boyfriend is aware and consenting of it otherwise it will look like cheating or infidelity

[Guest CollateralBeauty]

you dont need to be poly to have a caregiver, talk to your partner about your needs and work something out that gives you what you need without either one of you getting into something that may end badly

 

you dont need a caregiver to be your partner it could be a play partner in a non-sexual way or it could be a male friend who enjoys taking care of you and your boyfriend and you trust him not to try any nonsense

 

the other alternative is yes poly but if you rush it or dont communicate or heck if you do start a poly things and one of you decides that they want out it could ruin everything

 

dont do something like poly unless you are sure its what you want and dont do it with someone you have feelings for in a monogamous way

 

go find a caregiver/babysitter and make sure your boyfriend is aware and consenting of it otherwise it will look like cheating or infidelity

 

Thanks for the insight. I definitely don't plan on rushing into anything. It's just something I have recently started to consider. That's why I want to talk to people who have some experience and can give me some more insight.

 

I would definitely make sure my boyfriend would be okay with a caregiver. I haven't made any decisions yet and I am planning on talking to him in the future again on whether or not he would be my caregiver.

[Little kaiya]

I certainly don't have all the answers but I can offer the experience of my wife, Daddy and I as we are in a closed polyamorous relationship.

 

Quick background, my wife and I have been married for almost 13 years and my Daddy/boyfriend and I have been together for the past 16 months. My Daddy and I met at a conference and even though neither of us was looking for a partner at the time we really connected and he asked me if I wanted to date.

 

My wife and I had a very open and honest conversation and she revealed to me that she knew, even before we got married, that she would share me with someone and she was fine with it. When I asked her why she hadn't said anything before she told me it was very important that I find the right person first. My wife told me it had to be a person I felt strongly enough about that I was willing to broach the subject, in spite of not knowing the outcome, of bringing up the topic to her.

 

When my Daddy and I first started dating it was not a DDlg relationship. My wife also put a one month no sexual contact rule in place at the start to ensure it was a relationship based in love and not just a sexual one.

 

Fast forward a few months into the relationship and my boyfriend and I started discussing kinks and intimacy. We found a mutual love of ageplay that we began to explore that evolved into a D/s relationship based on a DDlg dynamic.

 

My Daddy is younger than my wife and but within our poly relationship he and I have a DDlg dynamic and my wife views him a bit as the son we were never able to have. They have an emotionally intimate relationship but they have mutually chosen not to have a physically intimate relationship yet, that may change in the future but it is impossible to say right now.

 

As a triad we have had a lot of discussions and constant communication has absolutely been the key. We havent had any arguments about the relationship and have managed to negotiate holidays, family visits, vacations and more. We have taken trips together and separately and have brought my Daddy into every aspect of our lives.

 

Polyamory is certainly not for everyone and requires a lot of open communication in order to make it work but it definitely can work. Choosing to become a polyamorous triad strengthened all of us and has allowed us to share our love with each other.

 

CollateralBeauty, if you want to chat feel free to send us a message, we'd be more than happy to share more of our experiences or answer questions you may have based on our experiences, acknowledging others may have very different perspectives that are equally valid.

 

Little kaiya

[baby_k]

There is ( I think ) difference between polyamory AND settling for rels from which don't really satisfy you. So, consider your own motivation carefully.

 

What if the new daddy would give you all you desire? Would you need your bf anymore? Would you still want him?

[Guest LittleSnowiii]

So I have not been on here in a while, and I've felt lost the whole time. I haven't been able to get into little space, either. I feel like a part of it is because I don't have a DD to be little with, but I also just feel like it is because I've had a lot of stressful things to take care of.

 

Now that I've gotten back, I've realized how much I miss being little. But I feel like I can't be little anymore. I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't express any interest in being a DD, but I feel like this is something I need. I've recently started considering a sort of polyamory relationship. I've never liked the thought of it before as I would selfishly not want to share my partner(s) with anyone else. But I also don't want to end my current relationship.

 

If you are in a polyamory relationship, I would love to talk with you on how the dynamic works for you.

What about finding a common ground? he might not see himself as a daddy in the sense of being a dom, but he might have some other characteristics of a daddy (like reading a bed time story, brush your hair, etc). Just try here and there to ask him about those interests, and see how he responds.

Sometimes all you need is a bit of communication.

I'm also saying this because it seems your needy of a poly relationship is because he isn't being a daddy, which is not the usual reason poly people have relationship (at least never seen it before).

[Little kaiya]

There is ( I think ) difference between polyamory AND settling for rels from which don't really satisfy you. So, consider your own motivation carefully.

 

What if the new daddy would give you all you desire? Would you need your bf anymore? Would you still want him?

I can't speak for other couples but I certainly do agree with you from my experience that polyamory and settling are two very, very different things.

 

I love my wife and my Daddy with all my heart and can't imagine living without either one of them to be honest. I'm not with one or the other of them because something is missing from each relationship. I'm with them because I love them for their strengths, weaknesses, gifts and faults. I want to share my life with them and share their lives both the positives and negatives.

 

Sometimes people do look for polyamorous relationships because their partner isnt meeting a need but that doesn't mean that is inherently bad or unhealthy, so long as they are honest with themselves and the other people involved.

 

I honestly dont think we can ever get EVERYTHING from a partner or give them everything either. People seek out polyamory for a lot of different, equally valid reasons and so long as everyone is being truthful and communicating it can work.

 

On the other hand, you are right about knowing one's motivation and being honest with oneself. I've seen people too often say they just want a kink play partner and in fact what they are doing is trying to make a relationship work by bringing someone else in for the wrong reason.

 

I just encourage people if you are trying polyamory BE HONEST. Anyone you bring in is a human being with feelings, motivations, right, needs, desires and insecurities of their own. They arent there to "fix" your relationship, they're there to be part of it.

 

Little kaiya

[Guest CollateralBeauty]

I certainly don't have all the answers but I can offer the experience of my wife, Daddy and I as we are in a closed polyamorous relationship.

 

Quick background, my wife and I have been married for almost 13 years and my Daddy/boyfriend and I have been together for the past 16 months. My Daddy and I met at a conference and even though neither of us was looking for a partner at the time we really connected and he asked me if I wanted to date.

 

My wife and I had a very open and honest conversation and she revealed to me that she knew, even before we got married, that she would share me with someone and she was fine with it. When I asked her why she hadn't said anything before she told me it was very important that I find the right person first. My wife told me it had to be a person I felt strongly enough about that I was willing to broach the subject, in spite of not knowing the outcome, of bringing up the topic to her.

 

When my Daddy and I first started dating it was not a DDlg relationship. My wife also put a one month no sexual contact rule in place at the start to ensure it was a relationship based in love and not just a sexual one.

 

Fast forward a few months into the relationship and my boyfriend and I started discussing kinks and intimacy. We found a mutual love of ageplay that we began to explore that evolved into a D/s relationship based on a DDlg dynamic.

 

My Daddy is younger than my wife and but within our poly relationship he and I have a DDlg dynamic and my wife views him a bit as the son we were never able to have. They have an emotionally intimate relationship but they have mutually chosen not to have a physically intimate relationship yet, that may change in the future but it is impossible to say right now.

 

As a triad we have had a lot of discussions and constant communication has absolutely been the key. We havent had any arguments about the relationship and have managed to negotiate holidays, family visits, vacations and more. We have taken trips together and separately and have brought my Daddy into every aspect of our lives.

 

Polyamory is certainly not for everyone and requires a lot of open communication in order to make it work but it definitely can work. Choosing to become a polyamorous triad strengthened all of us and has allowed us to share our love with each other.

 

CollateralBeauty, if you want to chat feel free to send us a message, we'd be more than happy to share more of our experiences or answer questions you may have based on our experiences, acknowledging others may have very different perspectives that are equally valid.

 

Little kaiya

 

Thank you so much for the insight. I really appreciate it. I may have to message you later, if you still don't mind. My mind is a little fried at the moment though, so I'll message you when my thoughts are a little more clear.

 

There is ( I think ) difference between polyamory AND settling for rels from which don't really satisfy you. So, consider your own motivation carefully.

 

What if the new daddy would give you all you desire? Would you need your bf anymore? Would you still want him?

 

It's not that my relationship doesn't satisfy me. My boyfriend is wonderful and has helped me through a lot, I'm just not sure he is very interested in being a Daddy/caregiver. It is still something we are discussing, though.

 

If I am honest, I really don't know a lot about poly relationships and dynamics, so I'm really trying to find out more about it. Maybe it will be something I consider and maybe not. Either way, I would like to know as much as I can so that I can confidently make a decision.

 

And if I do decide to have a poly relationship and find a Daddy that meets all my desires, it wouldn't affect my feelings for my boyfriend. I won't fault him for not being interested in being a Daddy. He has accepted me for all my faults (and believe me I have plenty).

 

These are questions I have been asking myself though. But I think as long as we'd all openly communicate with each other, we would be okay. That being said, I still have a lot of questions unanswered and I won't be comfortable making a final decision until more of those questions are answered.

 

And if none of this makes sense, I apologize. It's been a long day and it's hard to really concentrate at the moment.

 

What about finding a common ground? he might not see himself as a daddy in the sense of being a dom, but he might have some other characteristics of a daddy (like reading a bed time story, brush your hair, etc). Just try here and there to ask him about those interests, and see how he responds.

Sometimes all you need is a bit of communication.

I'm also saying this because it seems your needy of a poly relationship is because he isn't being a daddy, which is not the usual reason poly people have relationship (at least never seen it before).

 

He has been able to act somewhat like a Daddy. He doesn't mind brushing my hair and he's more than happy to watch any cartoon with me. But that's not everything I would want out of a Daddy/caregiver. I can elaborate more later, but right now I can't really concentrate enough to clearly communicate what I would want out of a Daddy/caregiver.

 

I honestly don't know the usual reasons poly people have relationships. There are still a ton of questions I have that are not answered.

[Little kaiya]