Daddy advice ?

[Guest Chrys]

So I am a Daddy by nature, but I lack in the Dom aspect a little bit I think. I'm more loving, caring, gentle, etc.. I don't have the other side as much as I would like. I also suffer from Bipolar & anxiety disorders, so that really limits me at times..
If anyone has any good advice on how I could practice more of the Dom part of being a DD. I'm not big on discipline.. I just love my little lady to death, but I want to give her all the aspects of being Daddy that I can !
We recently moved in together, so this is the first time I have had this demographic with someone in person as well. So I am just looking for general advice on how to be the best Daddy I can be.! Thanks !

 

- Chrys

[Big_daddy]

Hey.

First off, I don't think you are helping yourself by saying your bipolar and anxiety are limiting you.

They only limit you if you let them.

 

Secondly, being a Daddy inherently means you are also a Dom.  The two kind of go hand-in-hand.

A good Dom will enforce the agreed upon rules, even if his Little is purposely breaking them.  You can't let them walk over you when it comes to breaking the rules.

[SamL]

 

First off, I don't think you are helping yourself by saying your bipolar and anxiety are limiting you.

They only limit you if you let them.

 

Sort of like cancer or diabetes?  Mental illness is not a mind over matter situation any more than physical illness is.

[Guest LittleSnowiii]

So I am a Daddy by nature, but I lack in the Dom aspect a little bit I think. I'm more loving, caring, gentle, etc.. I don't have the other side as much as I would like. I also suffer from Bipolar & anxiety disorders, so that really limits me at times..

If anyone has any good advice on how I could practice more of the Dom part of being a DD. I'm not big on discipline.. I just love my little lady to death, but I want to give her all the aspects of being Daddy that I can !

We recently moved in together, so this is the first time I have had this demographic with someone in person as well. So I am just looking for general advice on how to be the best Daddy I can be.! Thanks !

 

- Chrys

Does the idea of being more dom please you? Trying to ask if you're wanting it to only please your little, or because you also want to try it?

Sorry, trying to understand better ^^

[Guest Chrys]

Snowii, It pleases me to know that I am pleasing her.. if that makes sense. So in essence yes, it brings me pleasure, as well as her I think. ( =

Sam, you said it man, I agree. Well put. Thank you.

Big_Daddy, I see what you mean & thank you for the encouragement on the rules. Any suggestions for some rules to have as a first time rule enforcer ?

[LittleTeacup]

Ask your little what she wants. Not everybody is all about the discipline. She might love you as the soft daddy you are already!

 

If she wants some rules, you might consider starting with ones like no electronics at least one hour before bedtime, always eat breakfast, she has to ask permission before eating dessert, or other simple rules focused on health and life balance. Punishments could be time outs or she has to write a letter to you explaining what she did wrong and why the rule is there. Alternatively, she could get rewards for good behavior, like a pretty sticker, going out to eat at a favorite restaurant, extra cuddles, etc.

 

There's no daddy dom template, just as there is no little template. You have to ask her what she's looking for. Don't assume you have to act a certain way just because other daddies do it. I'm sure she loves you for being you.

[Guest Chrys]

Teacup that was touching to read. I love that. I think she would love me as any kind of Daddy. Just as you said, there is no template. I love that approach, I'm glad you put it in those words. I also like those rule suggestions..! I look forward to being a little more loose with how I see myself & having a great dynamic with my Lovebug <3

[Big_daddy]

Sort of like cancer or diabetes?  Mental illness is not a mind over matter situation any more than physical illness is.

You'd be surprised what a little bit of mental willpower can do.

The mind is strong.

Edited March 17, 2019 by Big_daddy

[SamL]

You'd be surprised what a little bit of mental willpower can do.

 

I would love to walk away from this thread but my concern is what would happen if someone reading this thread chooses not to get help because they believed you - and I didn't try one more time.  I survived nine months being tortured in the former Soviet Union; I know more about mental toughness than most. In fact, those nine months was like boot camp for the thing that took the most mental strength and will power I've ever had to exert - when I walked into a psychiatrists office and said, "I need help."  

[LittleGirlEmilia]

Being a daddy does not inherently mean you are dom, like just because you're a little it doesn't mean you're submissive. There are many types of daddies.

 

It sounds like you're the more nurturing type daddy, there's nothing wrong with that at all, a lot of littles prefer the nurturing/caring type over the dom types. Plus, every DDlg relationship is different and unique to the individual. What works for others, might not work for you.

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

I'm like you OP, I don't really consider myself a dominant. However, every relationship I've ever been in involved a degree of compromise between what I wanted and what my partner wanted. Reading between the lines of your post (and I could be way off base here, sorry if I am) it sounds as though your partner might have said or hinted that she wants to try some of the punishment side of DD/LG. If that's the case, then based on my own experience in the community, it is something even those of us not naturally inclined to punishing can do - and do well - with a little practice. The most important thing is to be honest with your partner and communicate with her - find a happy middle ground. If she wants a lot of rules, it's natural to expect that there will be some degree of punishment for rule-breaking. Punishment doesn't have to be physical, and you could do something as simple as ten minutes on the naughty step or in the naughty corner, or for something more serious, writing you an apology. As she's moved in with you she clearly likes you and likes the way you've treated her so far, so it doesn't sound like you need to make huge changes to what you're already doing. If you did want to add some rules and punishments, talk about them first, make sure she understands and consents, then start with small things and see how it goes. Good luck!