I miss my daddy lots

[Littleseal]

Daddy hasn't been talking to me for a few days.. and I feel really sad because usually I would be able to tell him when I'm feeling sad and he would give me lots of kisses and cuddles but now when I text him that I'm sad it will take him days or weeks to reply me back. I'm always so excited for the weekends because that is usually the day when I can stay up really late talking to daddy! But then he doesn't reply as fast as he did before. Maybe because the honeymoon effect wore off...or I probably did something wrong but does anyone have any suggestions on how I can make daddy talk to me more ?

[98753_1655600720]

My daddy does that sometimes too and I start freaking out thinking maybe he doesn’t love me anymore or he finally realized I’m not enough for him And I tried everything I could think of to get his attention and nothing worked so I told him how I felt and he assured me that he loves me just as much as he ever did and he’s just got a lot going on and promised he’d work on it which he did and now it’s better. You should just tell him how you feel.

[Little kaiya]

A lot of people ask communication questions on the forums and personally I think the answer is the same . . . Talk to your partner. Rather than trying to guess about possible issues ASK your Daddy and see what he says. There may be a legitimate reason for why he's taking longer. Random people on the Internet, myself included, don't know what's going on in your Daddy's head.

 

The need for open, honest communication between partners in any type of relationship really cant be overstated.

 

Little kaiya

[kawasaku]

Hello, fellow Disappearing Daddy little here

Just replying to follow this thread.

 

I understand completely how you feel and understand what the others are saying. I’ve come to the fact maybe I have to move on, which hurts the most. Once he resurfaces again though I hope to get to the bottom on things!

[misterlisbon]

without knowing anymore than the OP conveys...

i think that alot of times people (read; dads/moms) take on the responsibility these wonderful little goofballs give us, without being fully aware of what the job description truly is. the issue is mental health and maintaining its peace.

where most see neediness as a deficit, to a caretaker it a virtue. we love being needed. we adore the accomplishment of seeing an anxious, nervous or timid young lady sleeping soundly, peacefully and confidently. resting for the coming day where she will take another step towards becoming a more powerful, fearless version of herself...

having said that - understanding that what is a minor annoyance for us (i.e. "the silent treatment") is the equivalent of 'the nuclear option' to a young lady that needs constant reassurance and approval from you - in fact, i'd wager most of these girls would rather take a beating than be denied attention from you, their caretaker, (the person who should feel honored and humbled by her high opinion of you) - and 'the nuclear option' should only be entertained in the most dire of circumstances.

 

heck, maybe try a beating instead

[kawasaku]

without knowing anymore than the OP conveys...

i think that alot of times people (read; dads/moms) take on the responsibility these wonderful little goofballs give us, without being fully aware of what the job description truly is. the issue is mental health and maintaining its peace.

where most see neediness as a deficit, to a caretaker it a virtue. we love being needed. we adore the accomplishment of seeing an anxious, nervous or timid young lady sleeping soundly, peacefully and confidently. resting for the coming day where she will take another step towards becoming a more powerful, fearless version of herself...

having said that - understanding that what is a minor annoyance for us (i.e. "the silent treatment") is the equivalent of 'the nuclear option' to a young lady that needs constant reassurance and approval from you - in fact, i'd wager most of these girls would rather take a beating than be denied attention from you, their caretaker, (the person who should feel honored and humbled by her high opinion of you) - and 'the nuclear option' should only be entertained in the most dire of circumstances.

 

heck, maybe try a beating instead

 

Being in OP’s shoes, why can’t they simply send 1 message and/or at night just to check in and say “Hi” or “I’m busy today” or 1 emoji or anything? I’ve waited 5 days to get 2 messages sent to me and am now on day 4 to get a reply back. It’s just common courtesy, we’re not saying we’re deserving of all our CG’s attention. I don’t know any type of relationship where it would be okay to just go completely silent without notice for 4+ days or even weeks.

[Brokenbouncy]

Being in OP’s shoes, why can’t they simply send 1 message and/or at night just to check in and say “Hi” or “I’m busy today” or 1 emoji or anything? I’ve waited 5 days to get 2 messages sent to me and am now on day 4 to get a reply back. It’s just common courtesy, we’re not saying we’re deserving of all our CG’s attention. I don’t know any type of relationship where it would be okay to just go completely silent without notice for 4+ days or even weeks.

It's not ok to go 4 days without a reply reason why you don't see relationships with this issue because you should break it off when it happens the first time. If you don't know why you don't get a reply within a reasonable time then ask your partner why that is. If you don't bring it up then they could think its ok. If you bring it up and your partner knows it upsets you then its time to move on.

I was disrespected once in a relationship the same day i kicked that person out of my house and never saw them again. Respect yourself and find someone who makes you feel happy and stress-free

[kawasaku]

It's not ok to go 4 days without a reply reason why you don't see relationships with this issue because you should break it off when it happens the first time. If you don't know why you don't get a reply within a reasonable time then ask your partner why that is. If you don't bring it up then they could think its ok. If you bring it up and your partner knows it upsets you then its time to move on.

I was disrespected once in a relationship the same day i kicked that person out of my house and never saw them again. Respect yourself and find someone who makes you feel happy and stress-free

 

I agree with all your points. My response was more in regards to the post above mine. At least in my own experience, being given the silent treatment is not a minor inconvenience nor the end of the world... but how do you just “forget” to message someone you supposedly “love”at that point I think you have to consciously choose not to talk to that person. In our day , it’s hard to survive without a cellphone for a week+. Also there are other means of contacting, like through a computer...

 

Also why would I, or anyone, want to be punished or get a “beating” for doing nothing wrong and/or for my caregiver ignoring me. I would rather he NOT ignore and NOT beat me.

[Little kaiya]

I dont think the person was saying being beaten or ignored is ok, rather that not receiving attention is very hurtful and they were comparing it to a beating saying physical pain would be less hurtful for most littles when compared to the emotional pain associated with being ignored or having attention or love withdrawn.

 

Little kaiya

[Sadie Tremaine]

I just wanted to say that I know how you all feel when it comes to people disappearing. It is true that people get busy and there are some days when it's hard to communicate and it doesn't necessarily mean anything negative -- it's simply a drawback of LDRs.

 

Let me share an example with my own relationships:

 

One of my girls recently got promoted in her job. She is an assistant manager and she works long hours (sometimes 12 and 14 hour shifts), even past what is written on the schedule. I have called her only to reach her voicemail many times, and not gotten an answer or a callback. Come to find out that she's simply worked late (as in was meant to get off at 5 and had to stay until 10 because they were busy or there was no other manager scheduled, people called in sick and she had to cover, etc). Since she's still getting used to her new hours there have also been times when she's come home and literally crashed in bed and slept before waking up the next day only to do it again.

 

Now, I will say that we both reach out to each other on a regular basis (communication is a two-way street!) and so when we do miss a day or two there's always an explanation. Since there are times when I have a lack of privacy I can't check in on the phone, so if she can't make it to the computer then we just have to accept that we didn't get to talk that day. But we communicated all of those exceptions and we trust each other that if there was a problem we'd talk to each other about it rather than avoid each other.

 

There was another relationship where the same thing was going on, except this person stopped all communication with me. I haven't heard from them in months and both the little side and the Big side of me are affected. The last time we communicated I was told that a lot of things were going on in their real life but we never officially ended things.

 

A lack of closure can be very hard to deal with in adult relationships, say nothing about when little sides are involved. And that's whether or not it's non-sexual. It can be really difficult to know whether to hang in there or make the decision to move on. For me at least, there's always going to be that part of me that's going "what if they come back".

 

without knowing anymore than the OP conveys...

i think that alot of times people (read; dads/moms) take on the responsibility these wonderful little goofballs give us, without being fully aware of what the job description truly is. the issue is mental health and maintaining its peace.

where most see neediness as a deficit, to a caretaker it a virtue. we love being needed. we adore the accomplishment of seeing an anxious, nervous or timid young lady sleeping soundly, peacefully and confidently. resting for the coming day where she will take another step towards becoming a more powerful, fearless version of herself...

having said that - understanding that what is a minor annoyance for us (i.e. "the silent treatment") is the equivalent of 'the nuclear option' to a young lady that needs constant reassurance and approval from you - in fact, i'd wager most of these girls would rather take a beating than be denied attention from you, their caretaker, (the person who should feel honored and humbled by her high opinion of you) - and 'the nuclear option' should only be entertained in the most dire of circumstances.

 

heck, maybe try a beating instead

 

This speaks to me in so many ways as a CG. I am one of those who "needs to be needed". And my lifestyle right now is such that I have a lot of time to be around on the computer. For me, personally (and I'll only state it briefly because I feel it's a different topic altogether) I fear that the time I have won't be enough for someone in the 'official' CGLG dynamic because of the other things and relationships I am involved with. 

 

Another thing that spoke to me in this post was the idea of the silent treatment as a 'nuclear option'. If that is so then you should make clear that it's a trigger for you to your CG but recognize that there are some times when it feels like that's what's happening but (especially in LDRs) that may not be the reality. And come up with a plan between you and your CG to lessen that thought process. It can be hard to make yourself slow down and think clearly to all the different reasons why someone might be unable to communicate with you but keep in mind that they do exist. 

 

An example of this from my own life is during Hurricane Florence my husband and I were evacuated from our home, and we went to stay in a place where broadband internet doesn't exist. Before we left, I communicated that we had to leave, that we might not have internet for who knows how long (depending on when we could get back home). We were staying with my husband's mom and brother, at the very back of the very last dirt road in our county. Neither one of them respected privacy (we're talking opening doors without knocking, etc) So needless to day I was 100% unable to engage in this. Following the hurricane we got the word from our landlord that the place was destroyed, prolonging our stay in this area. (And yes, we lost nearly everything.) 

 

As to the 'beating' comment, I am going to assume that 'beating' means 'spanking'. (Sometimes the terms are used interchangeably, where 'beating' is a tongue-in-cheek' term rather than literal.) I don't speak for other people so I'll just say that I understand where this person is coming from because I would make a similar statement, meaning that a little would rather take a spanking than have the silent treatment as a punishment. But also, I do believe that there are different reasons for spanking, apart from punishment. 

[Littleseal]

Thank you for replying me ! I didn't expect anyone to reply... I'll try talking to him when he's free ! But it will take a while to reply to you guys again because my daddy hasn't replied to me for 6 days...but when he does I will update on you guys ! Oh oh and thank you for your suggestions I really hope they help me !