Lost without Daddy

[LgJess1988]

Hi Littles,

I have just discovered this site, I have no one else I can talk to about this and I cannot tell my Daddy either. My Daddy is a lot older then me 26 years older, he was also married. I know that this is not saying much about our morals. However, he has taken a turn for the worse health wise and ended it with me, since it has ended, I cannot get him off my mind and even though it was arrangement, my feelings for him were very strong and his were the same but he feels that it was best to end it. I guess I am just writing this because I need to get it out and as I mentioned no one I can confide in that would not judge me or make assumptions. Please no nasty comments. 

[Guest Mr Mister]

Hey there, first of all, welcome to the forum!

I hope not to hurt feelings here but in my opinion if he's married then you should leave him to it. He must want to be with his wife during his time of Ill health. During times of I'll health people also tend to reevaluate there situations. If its ment to be its ment to be.

Also, playing with married men will always end in a broken heart. Find a more loyal daddy who will look after you and only you. Good luck

[Littlest_Bee]

Hello LgJess1988,

 

the end of a relationship is usually hard but it can be even more intense if it's a relationship within this dynamic. The caregiver/little dynamic requires a lot of trust and a deep connection.

 

Give yourself time to process that the relationship ended. He gave you the reasons why he thought it was best and you will have to respect his decision. Make sure to take good care of yourself. You probably know from other breakups what helps you the most in a situation like this. A lot of people need some time to sit down and cry things out but it can be an immense help to keep yourself occupied, try out new things. You probably have an existence outside of the relationship and that is all still there for you.

 

Do things that make yourself happy because you can be happy on your own.

 

Best wishes.

[Little kaiya]

Also, playing with married men will always end in a broken heart. Find a more loyal daddy who will look after you and only you. Good luck

Respectfully this is not always the case. Ir certainly can be in some situations but there are cases where it works out very well and has a lot of love involved.

 

My wife and I will be married for 13 years in a couple of months and my Daddy and i will be together a year and a half at that point. My wife and I were not polyamorous before finding my Daddy but that is how things evolved for us. Our marriage is stronger than ever now by opening our lives to my Daddy. He collared me this Summer and the three of us see that commitment on the same level as marriage. My Daddy has been with us for some very hard periods including the death of my father and he was treated by my family as what he is . . . Family.

 

Is our situation for everyone, no, but can it work, absolutely. If there is open, honest communication, love and commitment it can work. For my Daddy being in a relationship with a married person isnt leading to a broken heart and doesnt mean someone isnt loyal.

 

Just thought I'd offer another perspective. We don't pick who we love but we do get to pick how we experience and live the live that picks us.

 

Little kaiya

[Guest QueenJellybean]

howdy! polyamorous person here! 

 

if this arrangement was agreed upon by all parties, then it certainly was a happy, consenting relationship. 

if it wasn't, that's a different story, but also doesn't seem to be what the issue of the OP is. 

 

breakups suck & they hurt regardless of the reasons why.

i understand that this was previously agreed upon & he definitely has a good reason for ending it -- i'm sorry about his health -- but that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

as gandi mentioned above, take some time for yourself, reflect on what you want out of a future relationship, & let yourself grieve.

this is still a loss, even if it was a planned one.

i would respect his wishes & give him the space he desires, but try to focus on yourself. 

 

you're gonna get through this, i promise.

[Guest]

Because I'm a little who had to let a daddy of almost 2 years go ... TIME. The feelings / urge to talk to talk / have him, the thought, the need / want / crave ... None of it gets better fast. It's hard. You cry, you miss them, hurts like any relationship does, you fight the urge until one day you just don't. I wish I had a fast answer but I don't. And alcohol makes it better until drunk then it gets worse. Time is all I know. Add and message me anytime to talk / vent. I don't judge

: ))

[Guest Babylynn1967]

I is sorry to hear what you’re going through. It’s so hard to be with a DD/CG that you aren’t with 24/7 both me and my CG/friend are married to other people and live in different countries. It’s so hard to say good bye whether you or he chose to end it. All I can recommend is chocolate, a hot bubble bath then OD on coloring & Disney/Pixar in that order. They wont fix the ouchies in your heart but they will make you feel better (unless you eat too much chocolate that’ll make you feel yucky). Tries to has a good day!! Message me if you want to chat!

[little1grl]

Hey there, first of all, welcome to the forum!

I hope not to hurt feelings here but in my opinion if he's married then you should leave him to it. He must want to be with his wife during his time of Ill health. During times of I'll health people also tend to reevaluate there situations. If its ment to be its ment to be.

Also, playing with married men will always end in a broken heart. Find a more loyal daddy who will look after you and only you. Good luck

 

This may not always be true. I'm sure it's mostly true, but its not always. If the man is separated (and I mean truly separated, as in living in another city or state. Them living in the same house is NOT separated) then it could work. My Sir was married, but very separated for most of the 4 years we have been together. The divorce only got filed last fall. (I saw the paperwork).

 

One thing I would suggest: The "wife" needs to know about you. If he can't tell her about you, or doesn't want her to know, then its a sign that they really aren't separated and he's just cheating. That will never end well...someone is always going to be hurt in that (if not everyone).

 

The problem with being with married men, in my opinion, only comes about when there is deception involved and one person doesn't know that the other is seeing someone. That's where all the problems come from. But if you have a separated man whose "spouse" knows he is seeing other people...or even if you have someone in an open relationship....then things will go much better.

 

In my case, I asked my Sir to tell his "wife" about me. I know I had to trust him, when he said he did, but I don't think he lied. But she lived in another state all the way across the country, so that made it easier because I spent most of my time with my Sir so I know I got the majority of his time.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation though. Doesn't sound like mine at all. I don't know if he was living with his wife, but I'd never touch a married man that was living with his wife. I hope you feel better and find someone who can put you as #1.

Edited March 5, 2019 by little1grl