How Do You Calm Yourselves Down?

[Guest ~*BabyDoll*~]

Hello.... I just want advice on how you guys calm yourselves down so that I can calm myself down. (Sorry that it's really long....)

 

To break it down, here's the story:

 

So in order to know why this upsets me, I had an abusive ex a while back that would get.. Very aggressive with me. 

 

Last night, I had a whole bunch of friends over(they aren't little and don't know anything about this lifestyle) and they were drinking and stuff, but I wasn't so I could remain the "Adult" for the night. So this one guy, lets call him... Bob. Now he is trying to get into a relationship with one of my best friends, and she wanted to talk to him outside. Now I was in her car with her so that I can move it so someone else could get into my driveway, and she told me to tell him to come to her car so they can talk. So I walk back into my household, and he has a bottle of rum in his hands. Now mind you, he is completely drunk. I try to tell him in a clear and calm way that he needs to go outside because(lets call her Jen) Jen wants to talk to him. Now my daddy is there, and he hasn't drank in about 2 hours so he has sobered up a bit. Me and him try to tell Bob to put down the rum because we don't want him to get in trouble if a cop goes by the house. And he starts getting really defensive saying {Pardon the language that will be in here} "I don't know why you guys are acting like fucking bar managers?" We try to explain that we just don't want anyone to get in trouble. He then continues saying "Listen, you guys need to stop these fucking games you are playing with me, they are bullshit. If you want me to leave then fucking tell me." I started tearing up at this point. Then he starts raising his voice slightly. "Don't you fucking dare tell me how to live my damn life!" Then my Daddy jumps in front of me, because I am straight up balling at this point. Then Bob points to me and says "And especially fucking you. Don't you dare tell me how to live my life, and stop playing these damn games with me." After that, I ran out the room in tears as a few of my guy friends escorted him out of the house and a sober friend drove him home.

 

I know this was super duper long... But it's easier if you see where I am coming from, plus... I just want to know what you guys would do to calm yourselves down in this sorta situation, because even though it was yesterday, I am still so shaken by it...

 

Thanks for whatever input you all put in!

[LoonyLoveMay]

Hiya!

 

I'm sorry for the bad moment... And I hope this can help you a little if you need it in any moment

 

*Tea! I like drinking a mix of chamomile and lavender. Even if you only have chamomile it will help with your nerves!

*You can also have lavender oil at hand. Put it in your pillow and go to sleep. Lavender is good for better sleep and when you feel anxious.

*Meditation! You can download an app or find videos in YouTube of guide meditation, it will help you calm down your stress out brain. I like to mediate and is super easy to do!

*Yoga!!!! It wonderful for the mind and the body.

*Slime!!!! or squishi toys!!! Its southing to squish things!

*Knitting or crocheting! This hobbies do wonders when you are feeling under the weather. And in the end you can have something pretty!

 

Hope any of this help!!!!

[Guest BabygirlSarah1]

Fist of all im deeply sorry  to read  about  youre troubled past     

 

Second    what you have to keep in mind here is that  booze and  heavily intoxicated persons as  said " Bob  "  at this stage tend  to be er shall we say somewhat   UN pleasant at times and also say or do things  they normaly wouldn't  do or say .  SO     what i would suggest  is  try to see this  as it wasent  him   dear  it was the  booze  that  talked  and  NON of it were ment  personal at you dear  you were just there to take the hit  so to say

 

You have a GOOD daddy i can tell & he did  the  EXACT right way in stepping up  and  taking care  of said  problem in a  PERFECT    way   

 

As for  calming  down  try to  RELAX   and breath deeply and  if possible  try to do something that you normaly like alone  or with youre daddy  to get youre thoughts  have chance to  calm down  dear  & again  try to  keep in mind  that  it was  NOT him that meant all this  it was the booze  talking and acting                           

[LittleTeacup]

Oh no that sounds like it would shake me up as well. I don't deal well with angry people.

 

If I'm home and need to deal with anxiety I wrap myself up in a blanket and cuddle with my pillows and my favorite band t-shirt.

If I'm out drinking water helps, and I find a quiet place and focus on something else.

Listening to calm piano music can help too.

 

You say this happened to you yesterday, so you've been off kilter for many hours and even sleeping didn't help. I advise you to do something to get your mind on something else. Remind yourself that the "danger" has passed and you are safe now. Clean your room/house, do an outdoor project, get some exercise (this can especially help if your body's in "fight or flight" mode), etc.

[AliTheGoodLittleGirl]

- ASMR videos on YouTube! They aren't for everyone, but I really enjoy them and they get me calm and even help me fall asleep. There's even a few DDlg videos I've found for when I'm in little space!

- yummy hot tea with lavender or chamomile 

- Crocheting 

- Again not for everyone, but I also use medical marijuana to manage my general anxiety and anxiety/panic attacks. 

- cuddling my stuffies 

- breathing exercises in a quiet place 

[Guest ~*BabyDoll*~]

Thank you all for the advice! It's been a couple days and I have been better, it's really hard to look at him (Even though like Sarah said it was mainly the alcohol). 

 

"Bob" talked to one of our mutual friends and she told him to keep his distance from me for a while. I started panicking when I saw him just walking the other day...

 

But thank you all so much, I have done some of what you all said, and they have done wonders!

 

Much love! xoxo