Figuring it all out.

[vbee]

Hey

 

I don’t know if you read my introductions thread, but. My Daddy (she’s a girl, but . . Daddy suits her more than Mommy) and I have CG/l aspects to our relationship and have for awhile. But, we’ve never done much look into it because for awhile both of us were surprised by our interest in it and were afraid of backlash from friends. So, we keep it mostly a secret. I guess that made us subconsciously also avoid RESEARCHING much about it too.

 

Our relationship from the outside might look like I would be the Mommy because I take care of Em (my Daddy) in alot of ways. She has really bad anxiety and depression, so. It can be hard for her to navigate the outside world and it’s hard for her to cook. So. I help her. I don’t see it as something that would make me a caregiver though. Because the dynamic for that isn’t like that with us. I see helping Em as serving her. As making sure my Daddy has everything she needs. And I want to be the one who can give her that. Whatever it is or whatever it takes.

 

I want to learn more about what kind of little or middle I might be. Since, this is all new for us. We’ve always had a D/s power balance in our relationship but it wasn’t until we started trying some DDLG related stuff during sex that we realized it might be something that would also fit our lifestyle.

 

I don’t age regress really. Or I at least don’t think I do. But I’m still Daddy’s little girl and have littlespace that I get into sometimes. For me it’s more like, a space where I feel small and need to be cared for. Whether that’s my Daddy’s nurturing love or firm guidance or feeling like I want to surrender control over my choices. If that makes sense.

 

When I’m in littlespace I’m at my most submissive. I need to be handled with care like a little princess. I need her to hold me close and stroke my hair and my skin and tell me that I’m good. In high school I was kind of a cold hearted bitch because I was under alot of pressure. That was only a few years ago for us. . .so, when I’m in littlespace I need to be reassured that I’m a sweet girl to her, and that I don’t have to worry about all that pressure anymore.

 

I guess I just wonder alot what kind of little I am. So I can learn more about it. Because I know most things out there about DDLG have to do with the age regression side of things. I don’t think of my littlespace as regressed, but. Maybe it is. I don’t know. And if it is . . I don’t know how I’d know if I don’t already.

 

If others have my experience or something close to it .. let me know I guess, and maybe some of you even if you DO regress can help me explore and understand my littlespace more.

 

xoxo Vee

[RavenclawPrincess]

It sounds to me that you know exactly what kind of little you are and what you want out of your dynamic. Your lifestyle is YOURS and as long as it suits you and your daddy, I'd say you're doing it right. It also sounds like you and your partner totally get the concept of making your dynamic and what titles you use personalized to suit you both. Female daddies seem to be kind of rare but they do exist and I'm impressed with how open minded you and your partner are. 

 

Age regression isn't a requirement to be a little. Personally, my little side is incorporated into my personality as a whole and is not a "separate thing" as it is for many others, so I know exactly where you are coming from. I cannot express this enough, there is no "one true way" to have any variation of a BDSM based relationship. What works for you and your partner is right as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual between two legally aged adults.

 

Also similar to your experience, I do a lot of things to take care of my daddy as well. I do things like taking care of my stepson and fulfilling standard housewife duties (cooking for the family, cleaning, managing the household, etc.). I see that as serving my daddy, not as me being a dominant figure in our household. My viewpoint is that dynamics cannot be one sided in giving care. Everyone has something to bring to the table and mutual exchange needs to take place, which you clearly understand. You're already ahead of a lot of people filling a submissive role (especially littles) in that department.

 

My advice? Keep doing what you're doing. Your kinks and lifestyle are not anyone's business, and it's perfectly fine to keep that as something just between you and your daddy in terms of people outside of the lifestyle. You're under no obligation to tell people about your relationship if you aren't comfortable with doing that. You've found a great online community here to be a part of, so whether you choose to find friends in the lifestyle in real life or not, you have somewhere to go to talk to like minded people for friendship and information.

[Guest CharlieFPG]

Welcome vbee.

 

I will agree with Raven here and add that you don't need to fit a template or a set of conditions to 'do DD/lg'; rather, it can bring you a set of resources and practices to grow your dynamic richer and more fulfilling to both your partner and yourself.

 

I agree that what you are doing so far is fine and you nailed on your own 'little' style, which does not have to adjust to a pattern. Neither does your 'Daddy' have to fit a standard (such as being a male) to be your 'Daddy' those roles and how they are performed are up to your own choices and what you feel, what you negotiate with the other.

 

How a partnership works internally is never the concern of others, so while there is nothing to feel ashamed about, there is no need to tell others unless you feel comfortable and confident enough to talk about the subject.

 

I hope you enjoy your time here in the community and feel free to always ask and learn more.

[vbee]

Thank you both for your encouraging words. I think when you first go to look things like this up it’s just, alot of information out there. People label like .. everything in life these days, so. It helps to know that I can still find things that will help us or work for us without finding a single way to label myself.

[RavenclawPrincess]

I completely understand how hard it is to find your way with anything new, especially a lifestyle like this. Just remember that having a healthy relationship with someone you love is the goal, not squishing yourselves into a box that fits someone else's standards. If you're both happy with your dynamic then you're doing it right!