What do daddy doms/other nurturing Doms get out of DDLG and similar dynamics?

[Guest SnappleCap]

Why does a masochist like being hurt? Stretching it a little out of context, why does an artist like to paint? Sometimes the most obvious things are most difficult to explain. But I’ll try to take a stab at it.

In psychology, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs states that humans seek varying levels of “happiness” in their life. At the very least, a human needs a home and food and clothing. At the upper end of this triangle are more complex needs - love, recognition and self actualization. These terms are not easy to define, and neither is it easy to explain why humans want it. It might have evolutionary roots (love should lead to procreation), but thats an incomplete explanation. But the undeniable fact is that every person seeks something that makes their life more than mere existence.

Different people are wired differently in their brains, and even people who are wired roughly similarly are brought up in different environments. Our psyche becomes a product of our genetic build up and our upbringing. Therefore, for different people, the pursuit of this greater purpose varies.

A loving dominant sees his ability to care for someone as his calling. Wise blogs have quoted “dominance is about giving, not taking away”. True to that spirit, a caring dominant finds the pinnacle of dominance in pouring his affection, love, protection and guidance into his submissive/little. Their natural sensitivity draws them towards people who are in need - of mentoring, guidance, stability, shelter and safety. It makes them viscerally happy to help a struggling student find the composure of mind to finish their degree, to shelter a girl scared from a thunderstorm and help her sleep well, to feed their submissive when they are hungry, to watch an otherwise depressed girl smile in their presence, to coax an introverted little to hold their hand and go to a social gathering.

In some ways you might think it is self-serving. These acts of raising someone up to more than they can be is a totem of achievement and success in their own lives. But many times there is genuine pleasure in giving away all the credit and just quietly agreeing to be a backstage person in someone’s life. The good dominant knows that the woman who they are passing all the accolades to is fully aware of what he has done for her; they do not seek social applause but the quiet gratitude and absolute devotion of just their chosen person(s).

Sure, there are carnal satisfactions of being physical in a certain way, discipline and adherence to set rules, maybe preferences towards certain dressing styles, mannerisms, ways of speech, ageplay, animation movies or stuffed toys. Doubtless, these serve to bolster and whet the pleasure a dominant gains out of such a relationship. But in the end I feel it is more deep-seated emotions than a set of acts that defines the core of D/s relationships, and DDLg is no different. Philosophical, perhaps, but then it was a deep question

[Ckitten]

[squishymonster]

Well said. Also, I read this in the school of life guy's voice lmao

 

for reference:

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

Link to source: https://www.quora.com/What-do-daddy-doms-other-nurturing-Doms-get-out-of-DDLG-and-similar-dynamics

[daddyscott87]

 

The good dominant knows that the woman who they are passing all the accolades to is fully aware of what he has done for her; they do not seek social applause but the quiet gratitude and absolute devotion of just their chosen person(s).

 

This right there man, totally me