could my daddy be a daddy?

February 13, 2019

hi!! so about two months ago i told my bf that i was into being a little and into ddlg in general.. he said he thought it was really cute and he even asked me if i had any ideas on how to switch our relationship into that dynamic. being me at the time, didnt know because its a very new thing to me aswell! so he called me princess and kitten and stuff like that, (his idea!) and i called him daddy. then it all just stopped and me being an overthinker, i was scared i was making him uncomfortable calling him daddy (even though hes the one who wanted me to) so i stopped too.. then a few weeks later i brought it up again since i just really wanted to talk about being little, and he again was really open to it! he started calling me pet names again and even told me to call him daddy whenever i want to. he asked me what my ideas were in ddlg and i told him that i really liked the idea of having rules because it would help me better take care of myself and deal with trauma basically. he said he would give me rules to help with that. now he has and for about a week he was enforcing them, but now he isnt. i have trouble doing them unless its brought up sometimes.. he still calls me pet name tho and always says how cute of a little i am. which makes me very happy! and today he even asked me if there was anything i like being called and asking questions. hes very open and accepting to me being little and he even is a good daddy! he doesnt fully play the role yet and i dont expect him to because its new to both of us. i dont even show my little side to him that much, because im not use to it either! i told him that i would want him to be comfortable and enjoy it though, because i dont want to pressure or force anything! he said he loves it and that he does very well enjoy it. i believe him of course, but then he said that he just doesnt feel like he fits into the daddy role. i want this to be something for the both of us to enjoy, and not something he does just for me you know? i want him to enjoy doing it for himself! theres alot of times where i feel like hes natural to it and he did things before i ever introduced ddlg. and he loves my little side and he likes taking care of me so it just confuses me. though this is stil very new to us so im not rushing!! i just want to know what you guys think?

im scared ill be pushing a role onto him and i dont want that, but he always asks how he can basically be a better daddy and loves my little side

February 13, 2019

This seems like a really healthy beginning!!

The most important thing I can recommend is communication. When you notice things that bother you a bit, (like rules not being enforced) find a time to bring it up to him. A simple message along the lines of "I appreciate all of your hard work recently with the new dynamic, but ____ is a need I have, and I feel like it's not getting entirely met right now. Can you try to do ____ more in the future?". Maybe not so cookie cutter, but you get the idea. Please encourage him to bring up any concerns he may have and hear him out on what he's comfortable with. BDSM is always about comfort/trust between partners, which is impossible without good communication!!

I think you're walking on eggshells a little bit. This is a problem I have, too. I brought the cgl dynamic to my relationship, so sometimes in the back of my mind I feel like I'm pestering him with it. But then I remember, he's completely consenting to this. I've told him before if he's not comfortable with it, or if he's feeling pressured, he needs to tell me. But I've only ever gotten "I love getting to make you happy by being your daddy!". And so I have to remember that he can always use his big boy words if he's uncomfortable, and I shouldn't hold back. Try to accept his willingness to grow and improve, because that's a true blessing!!

Remember, there's no right or wrong way to do ddlg (outside of typical toxic relationship garbo). Your version doesn't have to have strict rules, punishments or pacifiers. It's whatever makes you feel loved, happy and free.

February 13, 2019

I've been in your shoes - sort of. Vanilla relationship while I knew I was a little. I introduced him to it, and he was up for it for a brief period. Eventually, it fizzled out, and I stopped calling him daddy because he was acting more little. Like, when I would be little, he'd play along with me but end up being more little than daddy. He'd humour me with the things I liked, dummies, teddies, pyjamas, cartoons, bottles, sippys, etc... He'd make me vanilla milk and fill up my bottle or fill up my sippy, but it was never like... a proper DDlg relationship. He'd tuck me in and act like a daddy sometimes, but that was a natural thing in our relationship anyway.

Some daddies prefer the nurturing/playful side of things as opposed to the strict rules/punishments, that a lot of us needs, let's be real here haha. It might not be the perfect DDlg relationship of your dreams, but it seems like he's trying and it sounds like he is more of a nurturer rather than an enforcer, which there is nothing wrong with.

You need to forget the stereotypical characteristics of a DD and create the dynamic that works for both of you. Every DDlg relationship is different; there is no proper way to do things. I'll link some topics that you may find useful.

Resources

General advice for new daddies

No true way

A starting point

Communication is key. That's the most important thing.