I'm struggling with my little. Need your thoughts. Kinda venting.

[learningdad]

I'm new here so I apologize if I am not doing this right.

 

I've been a daddy to my little for almost a year.

My little is mostly like every other little. A grown person with a little space. Thing is, the grown person has depression which bleeds into her little space. So much so that she cant be a little. She has started disobeying. At first I would punish her oblivious to the seriousness of her depression but she would not follow through with anything. I stopped punishing her. I stopped with the rules because it seems pointless at this stage. She also said she doesnt feel excited. I'm not a boring person by any means. I'm just stuck. I dont know what to do. How to help her. Her work keeps her busy. I try to get to the bottom of why she feels this way but she doesnt know the cause of her depression. She gets frustrated very easily and we end up arguing. She told me that she doesnt feel the need to follow my rules or go through my punishment.

I told that I wont be able her daddy anymore but she doesnt want that. She wants me to be a daddy still. I dont know how to be a daddy like this.

I'm just looking for any advice of what I should be doing as a daddy even though she isnt always a little.

How do you daddys comfort your little? How does your daddy comfort you? Is this normal?

I welcome all questions and thoughts regarding the topic.

Thank you

[bbAmalthea]

To be completely honest , this sounds like something she should work out with a therapist. Or at least part of it, why she's feeling depressed, coping mechanisms, etc. 

[squishymonster]

Things aren't going to change if she doesn't let them. It takes two to tango, and you're doing all you can!! I know it's hard as a caring daddy, but don't overwhelm yourself with her problems. There are some things only she can fix.

 

Have a straightforward talk about treating her depression through therapy (and maybe lifestyle changes). At first, you might have to introduce it as a "please do it, even just for me" thing, but if things do through, maybe you can encourage her to keep pushing through just for herself.

 

If a month or two goes by and she hasn't made any effort to better herself and you've made it apparent how much you're struggling with the whiplash of her depression, think about things. Are you truly happy in this relationship? Do you feel better being alone? Are you getting what you need to feel happy?

I'm not trying to cram it down your throat, but sometimes you have to remember that you can always leave if you feel like you deserve better. Never feel like you're responsible for someone else's inner turmoil.

[jaredstone363]

It can be hard for people to open up about their deppression, maybe even more so for a Little. One thing you can try is ask her to draw a picture when she is feeling depressed, just draw whatever it is she is feeling. She can also try writing down her thoughts. This might give you both better insight into what triggers her depression. As posted in another comment, therapy should really be considered also. Hope this helps!

[Lilminamoo]

This is something that has to be worked out with a professional. A relationship cannot be one person fixing the other when that other has self-destructive tendencies. It will just hurt both of you. I would say you really need to be there for her but please try to convince her to see someone. 

[Princess stitch]

try get her to talk to a proffesional and help her find one if she wants you too. encourage her lots and let her know shes loved and you care about her. my daddy helps by getting all my fav stuffies and movies and gets me to color, it helps to know he is just there. communication is super important so id suggest going over the rules you already have in place and discuss them and make any changes as to how shes feeling at the min. Perhaps she might decide she doesnt want rules right now,if you find you really want rules still, maybe have smaller rules for example ones linked to self care and thatll benifit her like a bed time or just saying 3 nice thigs about herself each day. id suggest takingit easy on her depression is rough. youre doing a great thing by trying to support her. ask what she would find helpful. 

[Guest Aetherr]

to be honest she sounds like she wants her cake and to eat it while daring you to say anything, dig your heals in. encourage her to seek help and be there for here if/when you can but make it clear you won't be her daddy until you are ready I am currently dealing with something similar but my little respects that I need space and time to be me and that I want to be loved as me not just loved because I make rules and have the "daddy voice" that stuff generally makes me feel used