Thinking about giving DDLG up...

[CryBabyUniWolf]

I want to start off with that I don't want to. At all. I love being little. But I have not been able to get into littlespace. I'm not saying this to try to get sympathy.. But I have not been able to find my Caregiver. My love. My partner. It's been devastating to me. I have been trying to be patient, get to know people. I want to take my time, I want something real. I want real love. But I just get guys that instantly start calling me "Little One" and "Baby" and they call themselves "Daddy" as if I'm already their little girl...

My mom is telling me I'm just going to get hurt if i keep trying to find someone to love me that I meet online.

She wants me to be able to care for myself... And even as a little, I know big me should be able to take care of myself...

I just want someone that can give me guidance, take care of me, nurture me, love me. Love me. For big me, for little me. I want.. I need a caregiver that will not just love little me, I need someone that will love big me first.

I honestly just don't know what to do. I love being a little so much... But I haven't been able to get into littlespace...

I don't know if anyone can help. But if you have any advice... Any words to give me... Please do... I'm sorry for the long rant..

[Groon]

Being alone is sometimes not good and being lonely just plain blows most times. With that said, it is almost always hard to find what you need and want. Sometimes it can feel like you can't tread water anymore and your just going to sink and drown. Don't give up! I say that cause you say you love it. Gather little friends and let that be your center while you wait to find your CG. It could help you on your journey and provide you comfort. Well that's my two cents, I hope you find what you need to help you get along until you find your CG.

[LittleTeacup]

Hey, I know it can be hard when you feel lonely and not supported, but please don't give up! You're only 19. You're still very young (I'm still young and I'm 9 years older than you). Your time will come.

 

You don't have to focus so hard on finding a perfect partner online. Live your life and do things you love and meet people who have similar interests to you. It's totally possible to find a caregiver in the real world, off line. You'll probably be attracted to people who exhibit nurturing qualities, and if you hit it off, you can bring up ddlg. The most important thing is to be yourself, so you can attract people you're compatible with or find out quickly if a relationship won't work.

 

You say you love being little. You absolutely don't need a caregiver to be a little! I get little very often when I'm alone, even if it's just clapping my hands and skipping around the house. Maybe you can be little around your friends or have a friend be a platonic caregiver.

[CryBabyUniWolf]

Thanks you two. I appreciate both of your respondes. Honestly the only friends I have are online. But they are amazing. They are. So far I have met two amazing girls... And as much as I love them.. it's hard because they have partners. My little friend, she is AMAZING, she so cute and funny and the perfect playmate! But she has a daddy. And my other friend, she's absolutely amazing too. But she has a little.

It makes me feel lonelier. They talk to me and they are amazing... But I get jealous...

I promise I'm not desperate... I'm just.. I've been patiently waiting... I have been... Sigh.

[LittleCelticLass]

You joined us about two weeks ago. That's hardly any time at all. I was here 5 months before meeting Daddy. Good things come to those who wait. You can't force being little. Relax, do the little things you enjoy, it will come.

 

As for finding a CG

You have your whole life ahead of you. You're only 19. Don't rush your life away.

Edited February 7, 2019 by LittleCelticLass

[CryBabyUniWolf]

That's what it says yes. But I had a profile before this one. So. I have been into the lifestyle for 2 years. But I hear what you're saying.

[PapabearNYC]

Hey, I know it can be hard when you feel lonely and not supported, but please don't give up! You're only 19. You're still very young (I'm still young and I'm 9 years older than you). Your time will come.

 

You don't have to focus so hard on finding a perfect partner online. Live your life and do things you love and meet people who have similar interests to you. It's totally possible to find a caregiver in the real world, off line. You'll probably be attracted to people who exhibit nurturing qualities, and if you hit it off, you can bring up ddlg. The most important thing is to be yourself, so you can attract people you're compatible with or find out quickly if a relationship won't work.

 

You say you love being little. You absolutely don't need a caregiver to be a little! I get little very often when I'm alone, even if it's just clapping my hands and skipping around the house. Maybe you can be little around your friends or have a friend be a platonic caregiver.

 

Glad I read all the posts before I replied because it would have looked silly for me to post the exact same thing that you did. 

 

 

Seriously, be patient.  When you are looking for a romantic partner, it puts so much pressure on you and every relationship you have.  Just look to make friends.  Look to meet people with similar interests.  And eventually, out of those friendships, other kinds of relationships will blossom.

[CryBabyUniWolf]

Ya know. That's the thing. I have been trying to make friends first. I haven't really met one guy that tries to be friends with me first. They instantly hit on me, try to treat me like I'm their little, and it's annoying. I want to take my time. But I can't talk to a guy without them trying to hit on me and make me feel vulnerable. And they seem like nice enough guys. But i do want a friend first. I want someone to love big me before they love little me.

Edited February 7, 2019 by ~ElvenPrincess~

[PapabearNYC]

I get it.  Girlfriends of mine are often showing me the messages they get from fools who think they are Doms.  People who try to command you before having a conversation.  Yes, often the DDlg dynamic is one of dominance and submission, but submission is something that is earned and given.  Not something that is just taken.  

 

The best advice I can give is to not look for a caregiver.  Just participate in chats and forums. If guys randomly message you, ignore them.  And when you see someone participating on the board who seems like they have a clue, then maybe reach out to them.  Just for friendship.  If they try to turn it into something else, don't continue.  Move at your own pace.

[RavenclawPrincess]

I was going to chime in but PapaBearNYC hit the nail on the head with the advice he gave!

[CryBabyUniWolf]

Thank you PapaBearNYC. And thank you to everyone else that has replied to this and for your words and advice. It's just hard being alone. It's especially hard being a lonely little. But y'all are right. Thank you.

[junebug0325]

I’ve been in a happy relationship with my Daddy for almost 5 months now and I STILL get messsges from “Daddies” demanding that they can do better than him or commanding my submission and telling me to do things. Those are people that you want to look out for because they don’t understand that submission is earned and not just given on a silver platter and are more likely to take advantage of that submission and treat you poorly.

 

It takes time to meet the right person. I know it sucks being alone and it isn’t fun, but sometimes it’s necessary. Unfortunately, we have to learn how to be people on our own before we meet the right person, especially when we are so young. It helps us learn to grow both physically and mentally and learn to be our own person, and when we meet the right one, we are our own person with that other person. Does that make sense?

 

And in my opinion, I don’t think that you can simply just “give up being little” just because you haven’t met the right one yet. You are who you are, no matter if you have a Caregiver or not. I do, though, understand that sometimes it can be hard getting into little space. My best advice for that is finding things that you like. They don’t necessarily have to be things that are “little” because I know at least for me, things like sippy cups for cartoons just turn me off from being little altogether. If those work for you, though, go for it. But my point is just doing things you like can help you become more relaxed and help ease the transition into little space.

 

My best advice? Try to be patient. Things happen over time and shouldn’t be rushed into. I know it’s easier said than done, but please don’t give up.

 

I hope this helps! Feel free to message me if you would like to talk one-on-one. I always like making friends!

 

Thanks for reading!

[MommySophia]

Honestly... even with you searching for 2 years, being 19? You havent even scratched the surface of what is out there and waiting for you. Do yourself a massive favor and stop comparing yourself to others, do not judge yourself based off of their timelines. You will never be happy if you do.

 

It sounds like the biggest problem you have are people approaching you in ways you are turned off by. Good!! You know what you don't like! So boldly state that wherever you can! After so long of bluntly keeping your standards, these people will stop coming after you - those "instant Daddies" - and instead go look for an easier "target." 

 

I guess at the end of the day you need to decide if you're really willing to give up on who you are, so early on in life. My recommendation? Stop looking for your Forever Partner and start focusing on you and your life. Education, work, career, living, etc. These are things that should be obsessed over at your age. Relationships, and yes, lack thereof, should not be such a  massive influence that you can't keep going on being YOU without a partner. 

 

Try to look at it as a growing phase: You are learning to be YOU without anyone else. So that way when you do find that special someone, your little identity is rooted in your own confidence, growth and self-love vs a relationship that may or may not succeed. Keep your identity growth separate from your partner searching, otherwise you'll never achieve Little You on your own.

 

...and Im terribly sorry if that all came out harsh! Not my intent! I wish you the very best of luck!

 

~MommySophia

[CryBabyUniWolf]

Thank you June Bug and thank you Sophia.

I am a Little and I always will be.

Partner or not.

Right now I'm working on myself, trying to better myself physically, emotionally, and mentally. I wanted someone that would be able to help me cope with that, to guide and help me.

But finding someone when in this mental state would be a disaster. Sometimes I forget about that.

I need to better myself and learn to love myself before I'm with anyone. I realize this. And it's hard. It is very hard being alone. But I'm not alone. I have friends, and I have family that love and care for me that want to see me be better and do better. Thank you all for your patience, understanding, and your wise words. I appreciate it so very much. It's good to be reminded of things. I didn't find anything that was said harsh at all. Just truth. Thank you all again.

Edited February 8, 2019 by ~ElvenPrincess~

[EdgeOfReality]

I would just like to say, I myself have been recently asking myself if I should give up DDlg, and quite honestly, for the same reason as you. The only difference is that i’m a caregiver, but I too have struggled to find a partner. I personally have been dealing with depression, and not finding a little has certainly not helped.

 

Now, I say all that to say this: I’m glad you said you aren’t giving up on being little, it’s a very special thing and I’m proud of you for not pushing it aside. What I’ve done in the past is, instead of being sad or down about not having a partner, maybe just take a short break from the lifestyle. Maybe 2-3 weeks to focus on you and what you enjoy. After that, come back and keep looking. You’ll always find that person when you least expect it!

 

Forgive my rambling, but I hope this helps friend!

[CryBabyUniWolf]

Thank you