Feeling Neglected by Daddy. What should I do?

[NiazKilam]

Hi,I’m writing this to say that I feel very....lost or torn so to say. I’m in a two year relationship with my daddy and we plan on jumping the broom some time this month. However,I barley get to see him. Daddy works a very hard job which requires him to be gone for 12+hours a day, and when he comes home all he wants to do is sleep and we don’t really do anything. I’ve voiced my feelings towards him but I feel like it falls on deaf ears. He also doesn’t allow me to work (mutual agreement) however I feel bad that I don’t because I believe if I had something to occupy my time, I wouldn’t feel as bad. On the contrary, even when I occupy myself I can’t shake the feeling. I feel bad for feeling this way,and part of me wants to leave. I also have really bad anxiety and the feeling I get sitting up waiting for him makes me sick to my stomach. I’m lost guys,what should I do? Have any of you dealt with something like this? I’m torn.

[TXDah-Dee99999]

You need to sit him down and have an open and transparent conversation where you voice your concerns and feelings. Not as princess and daddy but as two equal partners. Don't let him be dismissive about it. He may get defensive about it but don't argue just calmly explain your side and try to get him to view it through your position. Some tips would be plan date nights once or twice a week, maybe find some hobbies to occupy your time and mind as well.

[NiazKilam]

The problem is that I do. I have this discussion with him almost every other day. We plan dates but they always fall through. I have hobbies that enjoy,but in the back of my mind it still bothers me:

[Guest You're adorable]

Well,

 

I guess it's simple, but it's just my viewpoint as an outsider. Question no. 1 for me would be why doesn't he want you to work? Does he feel like his contribution is enough and that you should do what you like and shouldn't be bothered by "adult" stuff? 

 

You know, it's only a matter of time until this life will become a prison to you. Humans need something they can strive for. They need to feel like they belong and like they are doing something meaningful. Otherwise they are just digging a hole under themselves that they will never get out of. Although hobbies, are something that can give you fun, they rarely become the goal that you can try and reach for.

 

Your daddy has to realize that he can't really have both. A difficult job that takes most of his time and stay-at-home little that he can spend his free time with and spoil and take care of. The day only has 24 hours. You have to tell him that if he tries to do both, he will end up with neither. You are not just a little. You are a person. And as every person you need a deeper meaning as to why you are here. You may love being there for your daddy, but as you can see it really doesn't work the way you want or the way that he wants. It's time to change the way you do things. 

 

And, one more thing. For relationship, you need at least 2 people. If you are the only one that tries, it's not going to work out the way you want it to. I don't think that he realizes the gravity of the situation. You have to make him realize. Otherwise, it's just one way ticket to misery.

 

I may have been harsh, but the longer you keep it in, the stronger it becomes until one day it won't be a conversation but a fight. And not a pleasant one. 

[NiazKilam]

He doesn’t want me to work because he makes so much that it literally wouldn’t make a difference and no one really works for fun but for money and that’s not an issue. But yes I absolutely see where your coming from. It’s so difficult and it makes me so upset and I’m to the point where I feel numb.

[SamL]

He doesn’t want me to work because he makes so much that it literally wouldn’t make a difference and no one really works for fun but for money and that’s not an issue. But yes I absolutely see where your coming from. It’s so difficult and it makes me so upset and I’m to the point where I feel numb.

 

1. It might not make a difference in your mutual standard of living, but it will make a difference in your peace of mind.

2. Many people work for things other than money.  In fact, there is an old adage that says, "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."  Since you are fortunate enough to not have to work for a living, than you can work for personal fulfillment.  Create and sell crafts or art.  Volunteer with those less fortunate.  Get a job at a shelter for animals.  Without needing the money, you can follow your passion.

3. The level of numbness you feel will continue to increase until you find something to stimulate you.  

Edited February 2, 2019 by SamL

[hisangel]

It might not make a difference in your mutual standard of living, but it will make a difference in your piece of mind.2. Many people work for things other than money.  In fact, there is an old adage that says, "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."  Since you are fortunate enough to not have to work for a living, than you can work for personal fulfillment.  Create and sell crafts or art.  Volunteer with those less fortunate.  Get a job at a shelter for animals.  Without needing the money, you can follow your passion.

 

 

This 10000%! I recently started learning how to paint realistic baby dolls and it is so much fun. Prior to this I had never found anything that had caught my attention like this does. I found something that makes me happy and my Daddy supports it 100%.

[MasterPhotog]

I'm happy and proud that you're given such helpful and great ideas here. Since there's not much that I can add, I can't  stress enough on the same points that others have so graciously made before me. 
Please consider the following: 
1. Communicate with your Daddy and find a NEW solution.

Please consider that since your current situation is not working, something(s) has/have to change in order to expect better results. 

2. Find a way to keep yourself busy from the time you wake up to the time you sleep to match your schedule with your Daddy's schedule. You may want to work regardless of how little or lot of money you make, do volunteer work, learn a new language or skill. 

3. Your Daddy's current schedule may change sooner or later, unless there is/are no other issue(s) and you are determined to make this relationship to work, hang in there until then. 
Hope it helps, best wishes!

[NiazKilam]

Thank you all for replying!!! Your advice is greatly appreciated!!!

[Inthedollhouse]

I would use this time to concentrate on hobbies that make you happy. Visit friends. You don’t spend hours a day at a job so you could always volunteer. Doing what you can to make yourself happy, lets him off the hook and will make him want to be around you more since he won’t have that pressure of being your only source of happiness

[Misha]

Hi,I’m writing this to say that I feel very....lost or torn so to say. I’m in a two year relationship with my daddy and we plan on jumping the broom some time this month. However,I barley get to see him. Daddy works a very hard job which requires him to be gone for 12+hours a day, and when he comes home all he wants to do is sleep and we don’t really do anything. I’ve voiced my feelings towards him but I feel like it falls on deaf ears. He also doesn’t allow me to work (mutual agreement) however I feel bad that I don’t because I believe if I had something to occupy my time, I wouldn’t feel as bad. On the contrary, even when I occupy myself I can’t shake the feeling. I feel bad for feeling this way,and part of me wants to leave. I also have really bad anxiety and the feeling I get sitting up waiting for him makes me sick to my stomach. I’m lost guys,what should I do? Have any of you dealt with something like this? I’m torn.

 

Personally, I don't think the problem is you, or your daily activities.

 

I do not believe that getting a job, doing volunteer work, etc will make you feel better at all. You're going to miss him the whole time and at the end of the day you are going to come home to the same Daddy who doesn't give you any attention or take care of you. A job, a hobby, an errand is just a temporary distraction to the problem that will always be waiting at the end of the night.

 

I'm a stay at home little too. My Daddy works 5 days a week. His hours vary. Some weeks he works between 9-12 hours a day, and some weeks it's 12+ hours every day. It's a tough and physically demanding job and he rarely gets more than 6 hours of sleep. Still, he comes home and every day he takes care of me and we spend literally all of our time together. My point is, making the effort and finding the time is a choice.

 

 

 

The problem is that I do. I have this discussion with him almost every other day. We plan dates but they always fall through. I have hobbies that enjoy,but in the back of my mind it still bothers me:

 

This to me sounds terrible. You are telling him how you feel and he does nothing to change it. Sounds like all he does is plan a date with you so you'll have false hope for a bit, but in the end he doesn't bother going through with it because he doesn't feel like making a real effort. 

 

Of course it still bothers you. You can have hobbies when you are single. You have hobbies when you are in a relationship, and not getting the attention you need from that person.

 

When you consider something like a wedding, consider whether or not you want to continue living and feeling like this every day.

 

 

He doesn’t want me to work because he makes so much that it literally wouldn’t make a difference and no one really works for fun but for money and that’s not an issue. But yes I absolutely see where your coming from. It’s so difficult and it makes me so upset and I’m to the point where I feel numb.

 

I wouldn't think there is anything wrong with you not working except for the fact that I think you should be saving money in case you decide to leave.

[Littlepiggy0]

Work because if it doesn't make a difference to your income, so what? It will help you think of other stuff. And maybe with that extra income he can be home more also. Or, if the relationship doesn't work out at least you will have a bit of money.

Edited February 7, 2019 by Littlepiggy0